


Say You Will Remember Me

by Natalie_Carson



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Kidnapping, More angst, More tags to be added, Stockholm Syndrome, angsty middle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 54,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25886395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natalie_Carson/pseuds/Natalie_Carson
Summary: 2016: Spencer has just gotten married to (Y/n), the girl of his dreams. The two navigate their new life together as they work through his demanding job and a stalker that just won't leave them alone.2018: Wendy and Peter have been hiding out in Maine for nearly a year now from Wendy's abusive ex. The two are just starting to settle into the new lives that they hope to spend with each other.2020: After two years of searching for his missing wife, (Y/n) and Spencer are brought back together again. However, things take a turn for the worse as Spencer realizes that she is no longer the same girl he married.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s), Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 33
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: The years listed here do not coordinate with the seasons in any way, the years are more or less just to show the timeline of the story and put the events in order.

**June 2016**

**Washington D.C.**

“ Good afternoon passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 89B to Helena, Montana. We are now inviting those passengers with small children…” (Y/n) drowned out the rest of the service announcement opting instead to look at her husband.  _ Her Husband.  _ She still wasn’t used to that, she wasn’t sure she ever would be either.  _ Her Husband.  _ When TSA had checked her ticket and called her  _ Mrs.Reid  _ she did a double-take before remembering that is her name now.  _ Mrs.Reid _ , she mouthed the word to herself. She was  _ Mrs.Reid _ .

“Is this strange to you?” She asked him to move her head off of his shoulder and readjust her backpack ready to get on the nearly seven-hour plane ride. “Are you going to be able to rough it with the flying coach with the rest of us?” When he looked down at her the adoration in his eyes made her want to melt just a little and she was pretty sure that she literally felt her heart melt. 

“Anything for you.” He replied. “And for the record, I have flown coach numerous times. It’s not  _ that  _ bad.”

(Y/n) shoved his shoulder. “I don’t know if I was jet setting across the country in a private jet I would never be able to get back on a United Flight. I mean the overhead bin storage is crowded, there is no leg room, the person in front you  _ always  _ reclines their seat. You see that baby over there?” (Y/n) asked pointing towards a mother with a stroller and sleeping infant that was getting ready to board. “That kid will be crying within the first 45 minutes and won’t stop until the last 45 minutes. And don’t even get me started on the cheap pretzels they hand out.”

Spencer laughed looking down at his wife who was currently curled up on two different seats with her blanket stretched out over her. “You know it’s going to be fine right?” 

“Of course it’s going to be fine,” (Y/n) replied, sitting up to look at him. “It’s going to be more than fine. It’s going to be fucking fantastic. We’re going to land in Montana. It will be cool, I can wear my sweaters comfortably in June and you won’t look strange to people walking around in a cardigan in June.”

“It’s not that strange to wear a cardigan in June.” Spencer countered. 

“Yes, it is,” (Y/n) replied. “Especially when you live in D.C. and it’s 100 degrees outside not including the humidity.”

“The humidity is what gets you,” Spencer replied. “That was the hardest adjustment after moving here from Vegas. I could not believe how much I was sweating when I first moved here”

“And yet you still wear  _ multiple  _ layers,” (Y/n) said laughing. “God I can not wait to land and for this week to start.” 

“Me neither.” Spencer said kissing the top of her head before they made the boarding call for zone 4. “Ready?” He asked as she shifted to sit up. (Y/n) grabbed her blanket and neatly folded it up as much as she could before readjusting her backpack on her shoulder.

“Absolutely,” she said standing up as he followed suit. Before he could turn away she stood on her tiptoes pressing a light kiss to his lips. “I’m so happy right now.” She breathed, licking her lips.

“You have no idea,” he whispered back as the two of them made their way towards the gate hand in hand. They each pulled out their boarding pass when they made it to the front of the line. 

They both scanned their pass before being ushered into the gateway. “Have a nice flight Mr. and Mrs.Reid.”

“It’s Dr,” (Y/n) whispered as they made their way down the gateway to the plane. “Dr and Mrs.Reid.” She finished. Spencer chuckled next to her stepping back so that she could enter the plane first. (Y/n) made her way to their seats which were luckily towards the front of the plane. Spencer had picked the seats claiming that by the time they made it through the seven-hour flight he was going to want to get her off that plane as soon as quickly so that they could go to the B and B they were staying at and let the honeymoon begin. She wasn’t going to be one to object to his plan.

(Y/n) sighed in relief when they got on the plane upon seeing that this was a smaller aircraft then what she had expected. Usually, when she flew home to Seattle it was a massive plane with at least rows of six but this one only had rows of 4 two on each side of the aisle. This meant that the two of them wouldn’t have to share with anyone which was phenomenal in her book. Spencer took her backpack from her and put it and his satchel in the overhead compartment while she took her blanket and made herself comfortable in the window seat.

When Spencer sat down in the aisle seat she was quick to make herself comfortable again resting her head on his shoulder and pulling her feet up under herself. It was the kind of position they often found themselves in at home. It was the only way that she shouldn't complain about having to watch a movie in a different language, that and the fact that it was so freaking cute when Spencer would mouth the translation to himself not realizing he was doing so. 

Spencer ran his hand through (Y/n)’s hair as they waited for all the passengers to board the plane. It felt like it took forever but then again he wasn’t used to more than seven people boarding a plane. Finally, once it seemed that people stopped moving down the aisle the flight attendant came over the radio “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome onboard Flight 89B with service from Helena Montana to Washington D.C. We are currently third in line for take-off and are expected to be in the air in approximately seven minutes’ time.” He tried to listen to the rest of her announcement but quickly found himself by  _ his wife  _ who was tugging on the sleeve of his cardigan.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” She asked.

“Maybe once or twice.” He replied.

“Well, I’m going to say it for the third time. I love you and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“I’m right there with you (Y/n).” He whispered kissing the top of her head in a move that became so habitual that half the time he didn’t even realize he was doing it. “I love you so much.”

\--------

**July 2018**

**Bar Harbor, Maine**

Wendy stood at the edge of the yacht with her arms outstretched very much so in the same fashion Rose did on the Titanic only Wendy’s Jack was not there to hold her steady. The cool Maine breeze swept over the side of the boat and for the first time in a long time she felt one hundred percent okay. 

“Wendy!” Peter called out. “You’re scaring me!” There was her Jack, Wendy thought to herself.

“Sorry.” She said stepping down from the edge of the yacht. “I just got caught up in the moment.” She continued.

“It’s okay,” Peter said coming up and wrapping his arms around her. “Are you feeling better?” He asked his voice dripping with concern so much so that she almost felt guilty for implying that she never was okay in his embrace. 

“Yes.” She replied without hesitation of a doubt. “Being outside and getting fresh air helps so much.” She continued. “We should do this more often, just you, me, and the water.”

“Perhaps we can.” Peter mused. “I guess there is no harm in being out here.”

“It’s been almost a year,” Wendy whined to Peter. “Don’t you think that we are safe by now?” She asked turning in his embrace and batting her eyes at him. 

“I do.” Peter sighed. “I just want to be extra cautious.” He whispered. “I can’t lose you. Not again.” 

Wendy reached up to gently cup his face in her hands before standing on her tiptoes and pressing a soft kiss on his lips. He sighed against her and she could almost feel all the tension leaving his body. “You won’t.” She promised. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know,” Peter replies when they reluctantly pull apart. “It’s just that sometimes I lie awake at night unable to shake the image of you lying there cold and lifeless and I think to myself what if I had been just ten minutes late and that monster had actually killed you?” He was breathing harder now, his brain starting to dive into the rabbit hole of what-ifs.

“Hey,” Wendy said softly. “Look at me.” He looked down at her and just like that all of his worries went away. She was still here. She was still alive. “You did make it in time.” She said. “There is no use thinking about the what-ifs of the past, they didn’t happen, why worry about something that already did not happen?”

“I know that you are right.” he said “I just-”

“I know.” Wendy cut him off. “I know. But I don’t want to think about him for one more second. I want to enjoy this day with you.”

“Okay.” Peter agreed before retreating inside the cabin of the boat to grab their beach towels and deli sandwiches that they had made this morning. Peter spread two towels out on the deck while Wendy peeled off her cover-up before sitting on her towel. The Maine air was slightly cold as it rolled off the water but she didn’t mind. It was almost kind of a relief to have a seventy-degree day on July 4th. 

“Here you go,” Peter said, handing her the turkey sandwich and a can of Coke. “I was thinking maybe tonight we can grill burgers and watch the fireworks?”

“That sounds perfect,” Wendy replied, smiling to herself as she thought about just how far she had come in the last year. She couldn't wait to see what was in store for her for the remaining years that hse would without a doubt spend with Peter at her side. 

\------

**June 2016**

**East Glacier Park, Montana**

Spencer parked the rental car outside the gorgeous lodge that two had booked and looking at the scenery blew (Y/n)’s mind away. “This place is amazing!” She said her mouth was still partly agap. The drive itself from Helena to Glacier had been breathtaking, to say the least, but the closer they got to the national park the more beautiful the landscape began. 

“You’re so lucky,” (Y/n) said as the two of them got out of the car and Spencer grabbed the bags from the back of the car. She threw her backpack over her shoulder walking over and taking his satchel from him so that he can carry both of their luggage. “You literally get paid to travel all over the place on a private jet.”

“Yeah because I have a lot of time to sightsee,” Spencer said.

“When do you go back?” (Y/n) dreads the answer, she wanted to just enjoy this week that the two of them had but there was a clock somewhere in the back of the other mind counting down the hours until he would be whisked away again to go fight crime. She loved that his job involved making a difference in the world but sometimes it was lonely when your boyfriend,  _ husband  _ were constantly gone for a week at a time. 

“A week.” He replied. “But we have the entire week with absolutely no phone calls or texts.” He continued as he closed the trunk of the car before locking the doors. “Plus it’s only another two weeks until I have thirty days off with fairly normal hours. But let’s not worry about any of that this weekend okay?”

“Okay.” (Y/n) agreed as the two of them made their way into the lobby of the lodge. When they entered the lodge, both of them were blown away with the massive room with the high ceilings and exposed wood beams. The Montana sun streamed through large skylights on the roof giving the lodge a rustic simplistic feel. “This is amazing,” (Y/n) said as they made their way over to the check-in counter.

There were lots of tables and couches in the lobby with people congregating and socializing at each one. Towards the back of the lobby, there were some checkers and chess boards that (Y/n) knew that the two of them would be spending a fair amount of time at. She beat Spencer one time at chess but if you asked him it was only because she cheated by unbuttoning the top few buttons of her blouse and leaning over the board as if she couldn’t quite see the pieces well enough. Still, she was getting much better at the game, to the point where she could now hold her on pretty well. There were several really close games between the two of them where she was just one move behind having him beat. 

Behind the chess boards were large windows that let sunlight streak through the lobby just as much as the skylights did. The windows revealed the stunning scenery outside with a river running through the valley of the mountains. It looked like there was a large wrap-around patio back there also consisting of tables for guests to enjoy the scenery at. 

When they were called to the front desk the two of them made their way to the woman with a large smile on her face. “How can I help you guys today?” She asked.

“We’re checking into our room,” (Y/n) said resting her elbows on the counter of the desk. “For Reid.” 

The woman nodded typing into the computer. “Alright, so it looks like you two are in the honeymoon suite.” She said sliding them two key cards across the counter. “So if you go up those stairs over there,” She said pointing towards the back of the lobby “You’ll go up to the fourth floor, and then your room will be just down the hall from there. If you guys have any questions at all please feel free to stop back by.”

“Thank you.” Both Spencer and (Y/n) said together taking the keys off the counter and heading back towards where she pointed at the stairs being. At the top of the stairs, they head down the long corridor until they find the room that they were assigned. (Y/n) puts her card in the key reader before opening the door to reveal the elegant yet rustic looking suite.

“Oh my gosh,” (Y/n) said as she walked towards the giant windows overlooking the river that flowed below. “This is amazing.” 

Spencer put their bags down on the footrest that was sitting in front of the bed before walking over to wear (Y/n). He stood directly behind her circling his hands around her waist, his head resting on top of hers. “I feel like I’m dreaming.” He whispered.

(Y/n) turned around in his arms standing on her tiptoes to close the distances between them. He didn’t hesitate to kiss her back, his hands quickly finding the familiar space tangled in her. She sighed against him as he picked her up so that her legs were wrapped around his waist. “What if- and hear me out- what if we stay here for just a little bit longer than expected and  _ then  _ we can go hike the park?”

Spencer laughed before attaching his lips to hers again. “That’s cute that you thought I might not agree with that.” He said before throwing her down on the king-size bed, her laugher filling the room before he got on the bed to join her. 

**\-----**

**July 2018**

**Bar Harbor, Maine**

Wendy pushed her plate away from herself, feeling stuffed while sitting on their back patio watching the fireworks that their neighbors were setting off. “That burger was  _ so  _ good.” She said. “Although I’m not sure why I’m surprised, everything that you cook is absolutely amazing. I mean who taught you how to cook like that?”

Peter got up from the table grabbing her plate and then his own. “My dad actually.” He said walking through the sliding glass door to throw away their plates. Wendy started to get up and follow him but he assured her that he would be right back. True to his word, Peter was sitting right next to her again within two minutes. “My mom couldn’t cook at all.” Peter continued. “Partly because no one had ever taught her how but I think largely because she would just get so distracted caught up in daydreams that everything would either end up really burnt or severely undercooked.”

“Both my parents were pretty good at cooking.” Wendy said “but they never really taught me how to cook. To be honest they never really taught me anything about being an adult. I think they just kind of assumed that I would always be their little girl but then when I turned eighteen and I was moving off to college and all of a sudden it was too late to teach someone everything there is to be an adult.”

“Do you think that’s maybe why you ended up in the situation that you did?” Peter asked. “I mean there are certain men out there who look for women who need someone to depend on. They got off on the idea that they are the only thing that’s keeping you from living in a box on the side of the road.”

Wendy pondered that for a moment before slowly speaking “Maybe. But I don’t really think that’s fair to blame what he did to me on them. I mean he was the monster and I don’t really want to place blame on anyone but him.”

“Of course.” Peter agreed. “I didn’t mean to imply that they were to blame. It is 100 percent his fault that this happened to you and I don’t want you to ever think differently.”

“You know, it’s funny,” Wendy said. “I spent all day thinking about the last fourth of July when I was with him and I just can’t help but think how far I have come. I am happier now than I have been in years and it’s all thanks to you. When I think about what my life could’ve been had you not shown up I honestly start to hyperventilate just a little.”

“Hey,” Peter whispered, pulling his chair back from the table and motioning her to come over to him to sit in his lap. She hesitated for a second and he caught on “it’s okay.” He said beckoning her towards him.

“I’m sorry,” She said, tears starting to spring to her eyes at the painful memory Peter was forced to the forefront of her mind. “It’s just that he used to make me sit in his lap after he hit me.” she hiccuped “He used to make me sit in his lap and he would stroke my hair telling me how sorry he was, that it was never going to happen again, but of course it always did.” She sobbed but now Peter was kneeling in front of her holding her hands.

“It’s okay.” He shushed her. “He can’t hurt anymore. You’re safe now remember?” Peter asked her. “I promise he’s never going to find you again. You will never have to see his face again, hear his voice, his name, feel his touch. I swear to God Wendy he will never have you again.”

“Thank you,” Wendy said as Peter raised a hand to her cheek to brush away the tears that were now silently falling from her checks. 

“Do you want to go to bed?” He asked. “Maybe a good night's sleep will help like it usually does?” Wendy nodded as Peter stood up taking her hand in his and leading her down the hall towards the bedroom of the one-story ranch Peter had inherited when his uncle died. 

In the bedroom, Wendy quickly changed into her pajamas before crawling under the covers. It didn’t take long for Peter to do the same wrapping his arms around her as he did every night. It took some getting used to at first but over time she became accustomed to the feeling of his arms around hers. It now no longer reminded her of the relationship that she had left. When Peter wrapped his arms around her, it felt safe and comfortable versus the feeling of being trapped and imprisoned within yourself. She wondered how long it would take for her to get comfortable sitting in his lap. 

“Peter?” Wendy asked in the darkness

“Yes?” He asked.

“Do you think I’ll ever get to meet your parents?” She asked him.

“Maybe someday down the road once all the dust has settled.” He replied and she smiled to herself at the idea of them being together still five years from now. She wanted that. She wanted that so badly.

\-----

**June 2016**

**Glacier National Park**

“Did you know that Glacier National Park is the first national peace park?” Spencer asked as the two of them drove through the winding roads of the park stopping occasionally to get out and take pictures. “It’s actually called Waterton Glacier International Peace park as it straddles Montana and Alberta.”

“I did not know that.” (Y/n) said, “I’ve never actually been to Alberta.”

“I’ve never been to Canada,” Spencer responded.

“How have you never been to Canada?” She asked him “Not even like Toronto?” She questioned.

“Nope,” Spencer responded. “It’s just never come up and like you said earlier I spend so much traveling for work that when I do actually get home I like to just stay home.”

“That’s fair,” (Y/n) said. “How did I not know that you’ve never been to Canada?” She asked herself. “Now I’m annoyed that you didn’t tell me that earlier, we could’ve gone up there. It’s only like an hour drive or so to the border.”

“We can do it some other time.” He replies. “We’ve got the rest of our lives to remember? We don’t have to check everything off in the first week of marriage.”

“True.” She said as they approached a stop sign. “According to the map, if you make a right here this will be the beginning of the sun road which is supposed to give some of the most scenic views in the park.”

“Do you want to do all 49.71 miles of it?” He asked her. “Keeping in mind that it will actually be 99.42 miles by the time we get back.” 

(Y/n) checked her watch noting the time. “I’m up for it if you are. It won’t be dark by the time we are finished which leaves enough time for a sunset dinner.”

“Sunset dinner?” He asked, smiling over at her.

“Yes.” (Y/n) said while you were showering I read the brochure on the desk and it said that the tables on the back deck offer a great view of the sunset at night.”

“That sounds amazing,” Spencer said reaching across the counselor for (Y/n)’s hand which he gave a quick squeeze feeling his heart soar with just how happy he felt at this moment. He wished so badly that he could just freeze this moment and live it for the rest of his life. 

Later that night the two of them sat at a table outside, (Y/n) wearing one of the many cardigans he had packed hugging it tightly to herself only slightly shivering. It was only sixty degrees outside which wasn’t bad but it was when you just came from D.C. where nights were still in the eighties. 

“This is so beautiful.” she mused looking over at Spencer who was staring at her. “Why are you staring at me? You’re going to miss the sunset.” She said realizing exactly what she had set him up. “If you say anything corny about how I’m prettier than the sunset I swear.”

“You are though!” Spencer whined while (Y/n) lightly slapped him on the arm. 

“Such a romantic sap.” (Y/n) laughed, taking another bite of her salmon before pulling out her phone and pulling up the camera. “Smile.” She instructed him to hold up the photo so that the two of them were in the frame and the sun was setting over the mountain and the river in the background. (Y/n) snapped the picture smiling to herself and the end results before sending it to him. She immediately made the picture her background and later that night when she awoke in the middle of the night and reached blindly for his phone to check the time she smiled to herself seeing that he too had made the picture his wallpaper. 


	2. Chapter 2

**March 2017**

**Washington D.C.**

(Y/N) sat on the couch, her leg anxiously bouncing up and down. Spencer was due to be home any minute now and she could not wait to see him. He had been gone for nine days this time, far longer than usual. To say that the nights had been lonely was an understatement. She got through the day as best as she could, it wasn’t hard to be distracted all day while teaching fourth graders. After the fifth night of him not coming home she decided she would stay later at work, grading papers and getting ready for the next day. Honestly, anything to avoid having to go home to their empty house. 

Friday night she had been at a bar with some friends when he called to tell her they had finally solved the case. She got so excited when he told her that he thought that he would be home that night and that she would finally get to share her bed with her husband again only for him to tell her that the weather in Seattle was really bad and they weren’t going to be able to fly out till Saturday morning. She had tried to hide her disappointment in her voice, she had always tried to make an effort to make it seem like she was okay with the long periods of absence. She never wanted him to think that she resented him for his job. So she tried to hide it the best she could, but she had also already had two beers and according to him, she was a lightweight, so she was pretty sure that he heard the disappointment. And if he didn’t he definitely figured it out when she said “what a fucking bummer” into the phone thinking that she had already hung it up.

So when she finally heard keys in the door and the doorknob turn it open it should not have surprised when she nearly tackled him before he made it into their apartment. Yet for a genius, he could be pretty dense sometimes. 

“Woah Pipes,” He said laughing as she snaked her arms around his neck, her lips already finding him. Nine days she thought. Nine days since she had kissed. After a second of kissing, whatever hesitation or exhaustion that was left him gave in as he dropped his bags right there in the entryway and carried her to their bedroom. 

Afterward, he pulled her into his chest burying his nose into her red hair feeling content now that he was back home with her. Traveling all the time used to never bother him but now that he was leaving her behind each time he heard the phrase “wheels up” he mentally shuddered to wonder how long it would be until he can fall asleep next to her again. And then there was how much more dangerous the job felt now. All of a sudden there was a person waiting for him to come home, someone who would be devastated if he never did come home. Sure his mom would be devastated as well as the team but yet the idea of leaving her behind made him want to be sick. 

“Spence?” (Y/N) asked, putting a hand on his chest, raising herself up just a little to look at him. “Where did you go?”

“Sorry.” He replied as he went back to rubbing circles on her back as she once again settled herself against his chest. He was slightly disappointed that it was only 1 pm as he would’ve loved to have just fallen asleep right now. “You seem really happy today.” He said all of a sudden remembering the way that she practically pounced on him the second he walked in the door.

“I just missed you,” (Y/N) responded. “But also you hit your one hundred marks which means that I have the next thirty days with you.”

“Always a hidden motive with you isn’t there?” he asked teasingly. He of course also knew that he would get to spend the next thirty days working fairly normal hours while teaching. He used to hate the whole thirty days off thing but now that he was married he absolutely loved it. 

“Ah man, you caught me,” (Y/N) responded before looking back up at him again noting the way that his eyelids were droopy and he was clearly struggling to keep his eyes open. “You’re tired,” she said. “What if we take a one hour nap and then head off to a late lunch or something?”

“Actually it’s not good to nap for more than thirty minutes. The ideal time to nap is twenty minutes as after thirty minutes the body will start to retreat into a deeper sleep and that will cause someone to wake more groggy than when they first started sleeping.” Spencer rambled.

“Okay then,” (Y/N) said, reaching for her phone off the bed stand table. “Then we will nap for twenty minutes.” Spencer nodded as she set an alarm before setting the phone back down on the table. She then laid her head back down on his chest and listened to his heartbeat slowly even out. Within about 2 minutes of setting the alarm, he was out like a light while she stared at their bedroom wall drawing lazy circles on his bare skin.

\-----

**September 2018**

**Bar Harbor Maine**

Wendy woke up to sunlight streaming through cracked blinds, she reached across the bed hoping to find Peter but all she found was empty cold sheets. She sat up in bed rubbing her eyes confused as to where he went, he knew how she felt about waking up alone, the way it triggered something in her brain to panic and think that something terrible had happened. Wendy reached over on the nightstand to grab the alarm clock which read five in the morning. Nearly a year of living in Maine and she still wasn’t used to how early the sun rose here. She distinctly remembered someone telling her that Acadia National Park is the first place where sunlight hits each morning in the U.S. but she for the life of her could not remember who told her that. 

“Peter!” She called out. Nothing. Wendy got out of bed grabbing her night robe from where it had been discarded before the events of the last night. She wrapped it tightly around herself before walking out into the living room to find Peter fast asleep on the couch. Although she was confused as to why he came out here, she decided it best not to wake him up. He looked so peaceful when he slept. 

So instead she headed into their kitchen to make tea. She was ecstatic when Peter had returned home one night from a shopping trip with a kettle saying that she would no longer have to have the instant stuff, not that it was bad by any means, but it wasn’t what she was used to. After she got her cup of tea, she headed outside and sat down on the porch of their house overlooking the water. 

It was starting to get cold here this time in Maine, the tourist town of Bar Harbor was slowly growing quieter and quieter which was nice. She had been downtown one time with Peter and the number of people roaming the streets made her so anxious that she begged Peter to take her home. It was strange to her that she no longer found comfort in mass crowds considering that for so long it was all she knew. But now she craves a small-town feel, somewhere where everyone knows everyone. 

Wendy was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t hear the front door open until Peter was sitting down on the porch swing next to her. “What are you thinking about love?” He asks her to swing the swing back and forth.

“Nothing really.” She responded. “What time did you move to the couch and why?” She asked him looking over at him trying to read him as best as she could.

“I’m not sure, maybe two-ish?” He responded.

“Why?” She asked again.

“I had a nightmare.”

“Peter,” Wendy said, reaching for his hand which he let her take in hers. She gave it a reassuring squeeze. “You could’ve woke me up.” She continued “You help me with my nightmares it’s only fair I help you with yours”

“I don’t want to be a burden,” he responded. 

“Well neither do I,” she said. “Please let me help you next time.” 

“Okay.” 

“Promise?”

“Yes.” He said leaning over to kiss her. “I love you.” 

Wendy swallowed he hadn’t said that yet, neither one of them had. They were being careful to not jump into things too fast, at least that’s what she had told herself. Yet sitting here, his hand in hers, listening to the bird’s chirp and watching the sun slowly rise into the sky, something just felt so right. So without any hesitation, she responded, “I love you too.” The way his face lit up when she said the words confirmed that she had made the right choice.

“So I was thinking that since our anniversary is this weekend maybe today I can take you to the mall and you can get a new dress and we can go out to a nice dinner this weekend?”

“Like actually go out and sit down at a restaurant?” Wendy asked the excitement evident in her voice.

“Yeah” Peter responded but judging from the way he said that she could tell that he was kind of nervous about the idea. “I made our reservations at this steak house just a little outside of town but you have to dress formally and I realized that you don’t really have any formal clothes so we would have to go to the mall. And I could just do it myself but I thought that it might be a nice treat for you to pick out the dress yourself.”

“That sounds amazing Peter!” Wendy exclaimed hopping up off the swing. “Can we go now?” She asked already heading inside to change clothes.

"Woah,” Peter said laughing “it’s only six am they are not open yet.” Wendy nodded as she realized just how early it still was. “I was thinking we can go around eleven and then stop and grab lunch on the way back.”

“That sounds perfect,” Wendy said before kissing him again. “I really love you,” she said for the second time, still trying the words out.

\-----

**March 2017**

**Washington D.C.**

(Y/N) sighed in the bathroom as she stared at the three negative pregnancy tests in front of her. When she bought them she thought that she would be relieved if they were negative. She and Spencer had never talked about having kids, at least not since being married. It was a conversation they had when they were dating and they both agreed that they wanted kids but the conversation had never really been brought up again. They certainly had not been trying to have kids right now and (Y/N) wasn’t 100 percent sure how he would react when she told him. That’s what she told herself at least as she stood in line at CVS and got a look from the older woman who checked her out. Twenty-five was not too young to be having a child, but according to most of her friends, she still looked twenty at the most.

But then she got home to their apartment where Spencer was sitting on the couch reading and the second that she walked in she wondered what she had been thinking. Of course, he would be thrilled if she told him she was pregnant. He would be over the moon. Just the other day (Y/N) had a conversation with his best friend JJ about how much he really wanted kids. It felt like a subtle nod on her part as she wanted Henry to have a cousin. 

Here (Y/N) sat staring at the three pregnancy tests trying her hardest not to tear up. She did want this. She wanted them to be positive so badly. A soft knock on the bathroom door snapped her out of her trance and she remembered that her husband was still here and probably wondering why she had been in the bathroom for twenty minutes. “You okay (Y/N)?” He asked. 

She swallowed thickly as the tears finally left her eyes she reached up and wiped them with her sleeve before responding “yeah. Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” He questioned and this time she wasn’t able to suppress the sob that erupted from her throat. “Alright open the door Pipes” He commanded clearly concerned. She did as she was told and let him into the small bathroom. It didn’t take long for him to notice what was sitting on the counter. She watched his face grow ecstatic for a second before realizing what the results of the test were. “Oh, honey.” He whispered immediately, pulling her into a bear hug and running one hand through her hair while the other rubbed reassuringly on her back. “It’s okay.” He whispered to her over and over again. 

“I’m sorry.” She said.

“What?” He asked, kind of flabbergasted. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” He said as he let her sob into his chest. “Honestly (Y/N) it’s okay. It just wasn’t meant to be yet.” He kissed the top of her head before leading her out of the bathroom and to the living room where the two of them sat down on the couch. 

(Y/N) took a deep breath moving loose strands of her hair behind her ears. “I know that we haven’t been married for long and I know that we were both kinds of enjoying what we’ve got going on now but I really wanted those to be positive.” She said her voice was still kind of shaky. 

Spencer smiled at her taking her hand into his as she laid her head on his shoulder. “I know.” He said. “I mean are you ready to start trying?” He asked sounding almost kind of nervous which if the circumstances had been different (Y/N) probably would’ve laughed about but instead, she just smiled.

“Kind of.” She said.

“Kind of?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” she responded. “I’m kind of scared”

“About what?” He asked her “You’ll be a great mother.”

“I’m worried that it won’t happen easily for us and then sex will become like some chore where we are only doing it when I’m ovulating and pretty soon it won’t even be enjoyable cause we will be so stressed about trying to convince and” (Y/N) stopped abruptly hiccuping as more sobs took over. 

“Pips.” He whispered wrapping his arms around her again. “It’s all going to be okay. I promise. What if we just stop using protection and see what happens?” He asks.

“Like you won’t be keeping track of my ovulation.” She replies laughing slightly.

“I mean you’re right I probably will but it won’t be a concise effort and I won’t say a thing to you about it.” He said.

“Okay,” (Y/N) said taking a deep breath she wrapped her arm tighter around his torso appearing remarkably more calm then she did before. She reached for the remote and turned on Netflix before pulling up The Office, it wasn’t his cup of tea but he liked it because she liked it and he loved the sound of a laugh.

About ten minutes into the show (Y/N) had not laughed once he looked down to make sure that she wasn’t quietly crying again but found that her eyes were closed and she was fast asleep. He let the episode play in case she were to wake up and because the background noise was a nice distraction from his thoughts. 

He had never seen his wife panic as she had twenty minutes earlier. He could tell that she was holding something back and as his brain began to go through all the things she might have been biting her tongue on he got more and more nervous. He wondered if she was terrified about the kind of genes he was going to be passing onto any future child of his. Sure there was the genius aspect which was great depending on which way you looked at it. But then there was also the fact that his child would be at a higher risk for schizophrenia as well as early-onset dementia, two things that absolutely scared him. And then there was the fact that he had no fucking idea what kind of genetics his father might have passed onto him that he could pass onto a child. Surly (Y/N) has thought about what he was going to be passing on and she had to be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t afraid of that. Which is why he came to the conclusion that she didn’t bring that up when she freaked out earlier. She didn’t know how to lie to him and say that it wasn’t a fear of hers.

Spencer took a deep breath and ran his hands through her hair looking down at her. She always looked so peaceful when she was asleep. He spent so many nights when they first started dating just watching her sleep wondering what she was dreaming about and if it was by any chance him. He sighed to himself turning off the tv and picking her up off the couch before carrying her to the bedroom where he gently put her down on the bed. He kicked off his clothes before crawling in next to her and wrapping his arms around her. In her sleep, she scooted closer to him locking their hands together. 

He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the sound of even breathing. They would be okay. That’s what he told her earlier and he needed to believe it for himself. Maybe he could sign up to see a genetic counselor, someone who could give him some solid answers on what his child might be predisposed to and how likely they are of having it. As he closed his eyes he mentally made it a plan to try and get an appointment with someone. Maybe it was stupid to not tell her but he didn’t feel like there was any use telling (Y/N) yet. At least not until he knew for sure what he was looking at here. It would just cause her to worry more and the last thing he wants is for the worry more. 

**September 2018**

**Bar Harbor Maine**

Wendy and Peter walked through the mall hand in hand, Peter occasionally giving her hand a gentle squeeze, she couldn’t tell if that was for her benefit or for his. Wendy smiled to herself at all the people in the mall living ordinary lives, kids running around in the indoor playground, couples walking down the corridors hand in hand, teenage girls gossiping as they swung their shopping bags. It’s been a long time since she felt comfortable being out and surrounded by people like she currently is. It was honestly hard to believe that she once roamed malls gossiping with her friends about the cute boy in the third period. It was only ten years ago that she was sixteen yet that felt like a lifetime ago. A lot can happen in ten years. If she could go back in time she would tell that girl to be careful who she trusts as even the boys that say they love you will eventually hurt you. 

But that was neither here nor there Wendy thought to herself as Peter squeezed her hand again snapping her out of her trance. “Would you be okay going into Macy’s alone?” Peter asks her and automatically Wendy’s heart starts beating a little bit faster at the idea of being alone in a big store. “If not it’s totally okay, but I have a surprise for you later tonight and I need to go pick it up.” They stopped walking just outside Macy’s. “It’s okay Wendy. There is no way that he is going to be able to find you at some random mall in some random store all the way up in Maine. I promise that you’re safe I wouldn’t have even taken you out of the house if I thought otherwise.”

Wendy nodded at that knowing that Peter was right. The first couple of months they spent in Maine they hadn’t left the house at all. They were both so afraid that he would be able to find them, they had covered every trace but you could never be so sure. Peter was convinced for a while that he would find them, there was a while where even he wasn’t leaving the house so afraid that he would find them. Peter just kept talking about how he knows those kinds of guys and that they aren’t the type to just let go. Peter was even going as far as to order all their groceries online and have them left at the door with absolutely no contact. And while that worked for the first few months they eventually started going stir crazy, although Wendy still kind of is if she was being honest. 

“Yeah,” she replied. “I can do that.” She said as Peter reached into his wallet to hand her a credit card. “Besides this will be more fun. Now you won’t have any idea what my dress looks like until we go to dinner and it will be a total surprise.”

“I can’t wait.” Peter replied giving her a quick kiss “text me when you’re done and I’ll let you know where I am.” He finished before he headed off in the opposite direction to get whatever her surprise was. 

Wendy then turned and headed into Macy’s smiling as she enjoyed the company of just herself. She loved Peter to death but there were definitely days when she just needed some alone time. She would never admit it to him but she often enjoyed the days when he headed out to the grocery store without her. Then she could breathe and cry freely without someone standing over her telling her he isn’t worth her tears. 

Wendy headed upstairs to the women’s department of the store to start browning through dresses. Peter had told her that she would need to be dressed fancy to get into this restaurant which meant that not only would she had to pick out a nice dress but she would also have to get herself another pair of high heels. 

Wendy grabbed a few dresses off the racks before retreating to the dressing room. She hung all the dresses up before looking at herself in the mirror. She often tried to avoid her reflection at all costs as every time she looked in the mirror she was reminded of what he did to her. She took her shirt off followed by her pants trying to ignore the cigarette burn on her chest. That was the one that bothered her the most. Late at night she could still feel the cigarette burn and hear the sound it made as it was put out on her skin. 

Wendy tore her eyes away from the burn before slipping on a green dress. She liked it on the hanger but something about the way it fit just didn’t look right. She picked up the next dress a pale yellow color that was tight in all the right places. She put the dress on zipping it in the back but immediately decided that she didn’t like the color. The pale color contrasted way too much with her Jett black hair. The last dress she tried on was a bright red dress with a dangerous slit up the side of it. She pulled it on and immediately knew that it was the one. 

She quickly changed back into her own clothing putting the other two dresses back on the rack before heading out with the red one. She then headed down to the shoe section quickly picking out a pair of black stilettos. They were simple but the heel on them was tall enough that it would make her already long legs look extra stunning. 

As she approached the checkout counter she pulled out her phone to see where Peter was at. All she had was a text from him saying that he had finished up and he asked her to meet him at the car. She sent him back a quick reply before the girl called her to the counter. Wendy exchanged pleasantries with her as she bought the dress and shoes. The girl then slapped both items into a large bag before telling Wendy to have a great day.

It didn’t take long for Wendy to make her way outside the cool September breeze making her shiver. As she made her way to Peter’s car she noticed him standing outside it holding something in his hands. As her eyes traveled downward she was shocked to see a little puppy connected to the leash. “Oh my gosh, you did not!” She all but shouted as she ran to him quickly closing the distance between them. “Thank you so much.” She whispered to him before leaning down to pet the puppy. “Hi, there buddy.” She said a huge smile on her face. 

“I saw her the other day in the window at the puppy store and just knew that you would love her,” Peter said. “You can pick her name.” Peter continued “but we should get home.” Peter continued reaching down to take the puppy off the leash before handing her over to Wendy. Wendy gratefully accepted scoping the puppy into her arms before climbing into the passenger seat.

“She is so freaking cute!” Wendy exclaimed. “Thank you so much, Peter.” Peter smiled over at her from the driver seat before putting the car in drive and leaving the parking lot to head back home. 

**April 2017**

**Boise Idaho**

“Thank you,” Spencer said into the phone. “I really appreciate it.” He added before hanging up. After he hung up he stared down at his phone trying to decide what to do now. A small smile graced his lips.

“You okay?” JJ asked him as she walked into the conference room that he had walked into to take the phone call. He looked up at her slightly startled as he had been so lost in his own thoughts. “Was that (Y/N)?”

“No.” He said. “It was the genetic counselor that I signed up to see.” He said honestly. It felt weird to be talking about this to JJ before he talked about it with his wife but maybe JJ could help him figure out  _ how  _ to tell (Y/N). 

“Is everything alright?” She asked.

“Actually yes,” Spencer said, finally looking up from his phone that had long ago locked itself. When he looked at her he couldn’t help the wide smile that overtook his face. “The doctor said that the odds of me passing on schizophrenia or dementia were incredibly low.”

“Spence that’s incredible!” JJ said, now smiling just as wide as he was. “Oh, that must make (Y/N) so happy.”

“About that.” He said the smile only slightly faltered. “I haven’t told her about any of this. Like obviously she knows that it runs in my family but I didn’t tell her that I signed up for genetic counseling.”

“Why not?” JJ asked.

“I didn’t want her to worry,” he mumbled.

“Spence,” JJ said 

“I know. I know. It was wrong of me to not tell her.” Spencer said.

“You should call her,” JJ said. “She deserves to know, especially knowing that it’s good news.” Spencer nodded knowing that she was right. “Does this mean that you two are going to start trying?” She asked, trying to hide the excitement in her voice but doing a really poor job.

“We agreed that we were going to just let things kind of happen naturally as of right now.” He said.

“I’m so happy for you,” JJ said, closing the distance between the two of them to give him a hug. For so long she had known that Spencer wanted to have children but now hearing that he and his wife were actually semi-trying she couldn’t help but be excited for her best friend. Just then the conference room doors opened and Rossi and Morgan walked in. JJ quickly let go of Spencer before turning to them to ask them if they found anything at the crime scene.

Spencer tried to listen as closely as he could but the only thing occupying his mind at the moment was what he was going to say to (Y/N). He had decided that he would call her later tonight in the hotel room. He would just tell her during the nightly conversations that the two of them always had. 

**Washington D.C.**

(Y/N) was laying on the couch almost falling asleep to the same episode of Parks and Rec she had seen fifteen times when her phone rang. She glanced at the time noting that it was one am in the morning but only 11 at night out in Boise. She picked up the phone sliding it to accept the call. “Hey,s babe.” She said unable to stop the yawn that came out.

“Shit,” he said clearly realizing that he called her at one int he morning. “Did I wake you up?” 

“Nope,” (Y/N) said. “I was just laying on the couch.”

“Don’t you have to teach tomorrow?” He asked before checking the date. “Nope sorry I forgot that you have this Friday off. Any big plans?”

“I think I’m going to go to lunch with Louise,” (Y/N) said. “There is some brewery that she really wants to take me to.”

“That sounds like fun,” Spencer said and she nodded before remembering that he couldn't actually see her nod. “Listen,” he said, the tone of his voice completely changing. “There is something we need to talk about.”

“Oh?” (Y/N) asked, concerned she sat upon their couch rubbing her eyes. 

“So about a month ago when we had that conversation about like starting to try for a baby?” Spencer asked clearly, waiting for (Y/N) to say that she remembered that conversation as if there was a possibility that it had just slipped her mind.

“Yeah,” (Y/N) said. 

“Well,” He continued dragging out his words. “I kind of started to panic that night thinking about what I would be passing down genetically. So I made an appointment the next day-”

“Wait.” (Y/N) said almost laughing “Is this about the genetic counselor?”

“Um yes?” Spencer said clearly confused, something that did not happen often, she can almost picture him now his face all scrunched up while he tried to work through what was going on. She found it adorable and was almost bummed she wasn’t there to see it. “How, how did you know?” He asks.

“Spencer.” She says. “You’re not exactly the most sneaky person.” She said laughing. “I knew that you were going to propose the exact day you bought the ring, it was so obvious that you were hiding something and the exact same thing happened right after that conversation. I didn’t know what it was you were hiding until the insurance bill showed up in the mail.”

“Ah,” Spencer said. “That makes sense.”

“Yeah,” (Y/N) said, laying back down on the couch pulling the blanket up around her and burying her face into his pillow that she had pulled from their bedroom. He had only been gone two days now yet it felt like much longer. “You know I don’t care right?” She asked him. “It does not matter one bit to me.”

“Well, it should.”

“Why would it?” (Y/N) asked. “I married you even though there is a  _ small  _ chance you may start to forget me years down the road.”

“I’m still not sure why you did that.”

“Because I love you idiot.” (Y/N) responded. “What did the doctor say?”

“Why?” Spencer asked teasingly. “I thought that it didn’t bother you?”

“Don’t make me fly all the way out to Idaho,” (Y/N) warned laughing too.

“She said there was a very small chance that I would pass either of them on,” Spencer said.

(Y/N) smiled into the phone. “See?” She asked. “Nothing to be worried about. How is the case going? AKA how long until you will be home?”

“It’s going good.” He said. “We are making pretty good progress. I think maybe by Sunday I’ll be home.”

“Ugh Spence that’s like two days from now,” (Y/N) whined. “I miss you.”

“I miss you more.” Spencer replied.

“I should probably let you,” (Y/N) said, glancing at the clock and realizing that it was nearly midnight out there. “You’ve got to get some sleep so that you can give it your all tomorrow and maybe be home by Saturday?” (Y/N) asked him, her voice hopeful.

“Maybe,” Spencer said. “I love you.” He said. “Have a good night.”

“I love you too,” (Y/N) said. “I’ll see you soon.” She hung up the phone sighing to herself as she grabbed everything off the couch and retreated towards their bedroom. She threw his pillow and her blanket down before heading into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Afterward, she went back out into their kitchen to shut off all the lights when she noticed an envelope that had slipped under the door at some point. She picked it up and noted the neat handwriting on the envelope that read Spencer’s name. 

(Y/N) threw the envelope down on the counter leaving it for Spencer when he got back home. She then went back into their bedroom climbing into bed before turning off the lamp next to the bed. She sat there staring at the ceiling for a while before finally turning on her side, burying her face into his pillow pretending that he was there with her. 

**\----**

**September 2018**

**Bar Harbor, Maine**

“Darling!” Peter called out from the living room of their house as he straightened his tie in the mirror hanging above the end table in the entryway. “Are you about ready?”

“Yes!” Wendy called back out as she opened up the bedroom door coming out wearing a stunning red dress. 

“Wow,” Peter said. “You look amazing.” Wendy twirled once, radiating happiness. Peter laughed at his hands finding her waistline before leaning down to kiss her. “Absolutely stunning.” He whispered against her lips as she smiled. “Are you ready?” He asked. “I don’t want us to be late.”

Wendy nodded once before leaning down to kiss her new puppy goodbye. She then stood up taking Peter’s hand and letting him lead her out to the car. He opened her door for her like the gentlemen he was and she got in the car smoothing her dress over. The drive to the restaurant was relatively quiet as Wendy took in all the passing scenery of the little towns that they drove through.

“Where is this restaurant at?” Wendy asked after they had been driving for thirty minutes.

“It’s up in Bangor.” He responded. “There aren't’ really a lot of good steakhouses in Bar Harbor as it’s mostly just a tourist town but this one in Bangor is well worth the drive.”

Wendy nodded once. “Did you grow up in Bar Harbor?” She asked him, realizing that she really had no idea why he chose Maine to run away to. “Or in Maine?” She followed up.

“No.” Peter said kind of hesitation before he finished“I actually grew up in Nevada.” Wendy shuttered at that not wanting to remember the few times she had been to Nevada. “Reno.” He added. “But my dad owned a casino in Vegas. It’s a generational thing. His dad passed it onto him and eventually I will inherit it.” Wendy nodded. She knew Peter came from money but knew it made sense just  _ how much  _ money.

“My mom was from Maine.” Peter continued. “So we came up here quite a bit, her family was from Portland but my dad didn’t like Portland so instead he bought a lake house in Bar Harbor, the house that we are currently living in, and we kind of just made it our own.”

“I see,” Wendy said, reaching across the car to take Peter’s hand in hers. “I’m glad that you decided to share it with me.”

“Me too.” Peter replied as he pulled off the highway and navigated the streets of Bangor before pulling into a parking lot that was full of nice cars and people wearing similar style dresses as Wendys and full on suits like Peters.

Peter put the car in park, shutting off the car before quickly coming around to open Wendy’s door again. The two then made their way into the restaurant hand in hand. Inside Peter gave his name to the hostesses and the two of them were quickly seated in a booth in the back of the restaurant. 

Wendy took her seat across from Peter noting the dim lighting and the candles that were lit on the table. “This is really nice.” She said as she grabbed a menu and started to flip through it deciding on what she would have. The waitress came over and dropped off a basket of bread which Wendy eargley took, splitting the roll in half and lathering it with butter. The waitress then took both of their drink orders before retreating back into the kitchen.

“So I think I picked a name for our puppy.” Wendy said. Peter had told her that it was up to her to pick a name for the little guy. She had been thinking about it all night and morning when it finally hit her what she wanted to name her. “I really like the name Cherry.”

“Cherry?” Peter asked, tilting his head side to side as if imagining the little puppy as ‘Cherry’. “I like it.” He said after a moment. “How’d you come up with it?”

“I don’t know.” Wendy lied slightly before decided to fuck it and just tell him the truth. “I just have this really strong memory of being a little girl and walking underneath all the cherry blossom trees and being so happy. I can’t explain it but those trees just give off this sort of feeling that I wish I could bottle up and take everywhere.” She rambled. “And it seemed especially fitting for her now because in Japan, where cherry blossoms are the national flower, they represent a renewal in hope which is what I feel sitting here with you right now.” Wendy finished. 

“I love you so much dear.” Peter said, taking Wendy’s hand from across the table. “And I think the name Cherry is very fitting for her.” He said as the waitress came back with their drinks and to get their orders for dinner. 

While they waited for their steaks the two of them fell into the natural rhythm of conversation that they always had. That’s what Wendy loved most about Peter, she loved how easy it was to be with him. There were never any moments where she didn’t know what to say, everything just came so naturally.

It didn’t take long for their steaks to be sat down in front of them and as soon as Wendy took a bite of the steak she knew exactly what Peter meant when he said that the hour drive was worth it. It was easily the best steak she had ever had. “This is amazing.” She said with a mouthful of food as she quickly brought her hand to cover her mouth realizing that it was not polite at all to speak with your mouth full of food.

“I know.” Peter said. “It is easily better than half the steaks I’ve had in New York from places that claim to have the best steak in the world.” The two of them then continued on with their small talk as Wendy waited for the opening she needed to bring up what she had been wanting to talk about since he let her go into Macy’s alone the other day.

“So listen.” She said and he looked up from his steak as he was able to hear the tone change in her voice. “I was thinking that maybe it would be nice, if I could um, have some more freedom now that it’s been a year.”

“More freedom?” Peter asked. “Wendy, you’re making it sound you’re a prisoner.”

“What?” Wendy asked. “No, I didn’t mean that at all. I just meant that it would be nice if I could start going places on my own every once in a while. Take the grocery store for instance, I could totally go there on my own. Or even the mall if I wanted to buy some more clothes.”

“I don’t know Wendy it just makes me -”

“Nervous.” Wendy finished for him. “I know. But it’s been a year Peter. He is not going to find us up here and I need to go back to living my life. I want this. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until I went into the store the other day. I did just fine on my own.”

“I know.” Peter responded. “I was really proud of you.”

“See?” Wendy asked. “You know that I can do this. Think about how much better our lives will be if we can start leaving the house like normal people. You can get a job since you don’t have to sit at home and make sure I’m safe all day. I could even get a part time job somewhere. I saw the other day in the newspaper a job listing for the library, I could do that.”

“Wendy.” He said softly pursing his lips together. “You can’t have a job.”

“Why not?”

“Because you don't have a social security number, it’s the same reason you can’t get a driver's license.”

“I have a social security number.” She responded before thinking and the look on his face reminded her exactly why her social security would do her no good. 

“Okay well then I could still do small jobs, like I could look to see if there was anyone within walking distance that needed a nanny. Something under the table you know?”

“That could work.” Peter responded thinking for a moment before responding. “Actually that would probably be really good.”

Wendy broke out into a huge smile. “And leaving the house when i want?” She asked

“I’ll think about that one.” Peter responded. “I don’t love the idea of you just walking around everywhere but I also don’t love the idea of you driving without a license because if you get pulled over we are totally fucked.” Wendy nodded in agreement. “But I will think about the idea of letting you go more freely around. I think that you’re right. I don’t think that we have to be scared of him finding us anymore.”

“Yay!” Wendy started to shout but then remembered that they were in a very public space. “Thank you so much Peter.” She said. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! Please leave a comment on what you think :)


	3. Chapter 3

**January 2016**

**Washington D.C.**

“Any big plans for the weekend?” Morgan asked Spencer as they both headed outside. Spencer pulled his coat tighter around himself preparing for the snow that he had seen falling from the seventh-floor windows. He was kind of jealous right now of (Y/n) who was currently out in Georgia with some of her college friends. She picked the right week he thought to himself.  “Not really,” Spencer responded. “I’ll probably just sit at home and read.”

“You should come out with us tonight!” Penelope whined as they all got on the elevator together. “We were going to go to this bar that just opened later tonight.”

“I’m okay,” Spencer said. “It’s not really my kind of scene.”

“Which is exactly why you should go,” Penelope replied. “It’s good to get out of your comfort zone. “

“Exactly.” Derek continued. “If I remember correctly the last time you drug your feet about going to a bar with us was when you met the lovely Mrs.Reid so maybe that should be a lesson for you.”

“What time are you going?” He asked.

“Eleven,” Morgan responded. Spencer glanced down at his watch. It was currently eight so that meant that he had at least two hours to go home and read. He could make it through quite a few books in that time. Plus there was the fact that he was kind of dreading having to spend the night alone in their apartment. He wasn’t really sure how (Y/n) did it when he was gone all the time.

“Fine I will go but I can’t promise that I will stay out that late,” Spencer said as the elevator dinged and the three of them got off and headed towards their cars.

“I’ll text you an address,” Garcia said before getting in her car. Spencer then got into the driver's seat starting the engine shivering until the heat finally kicked in. He then pulled out his phone and sent a short text to (Y/n) letting her know that he was heading home and that he was going to go to the bar later tonight. They exchanged a few messages about the case but he knew that she was too busy hanging out with her friends to be bogged down with the gruesome murder details. 

Their house was cold without her. Both literally and metaphorically. She always cranked the temperature up quite a few degrees than he preferred it but without her here it just seemed so void of life. Which he found quite funny considering that he used to live here just fine before her. Strange how quickly the mind and body adjust to living with someone. It never used to bother him to sleep in an empty bed, in fact, it used to bother him to have to share a bed with someone. But now waking up to cold sheets was the worst feeling in the world. The number of times that he has reached across hotel sheets hoping to find her and pull her close is an insufferable number. 

He threw his bag on the hook by the door before toeing off his shoes and taking off his tie. He then headed into the bedroom opting for something more comfortable to wear tonight. It wasn’t until he came back outside that he noticed the white envelope that had been slid under the door. He picked it up noting his name on it. He then carried it into the kitchen where he poured himself some coffee before getting comfortable on the couch next to the six books he planned to finish before he was due to head to the bar. 

Spencer set the coffee down on the coffee table before opening the white envelope. He pulled out the contents which were two photographs and neatly typed letters. He examined the photographs the first was of him and (Y/n) at the Pentagon metro stop. The two of them were standing off to the side, his back to a pole and her standing on her tiptoes, the picture made it appear that they were kissing when they were in fact not. His hands were tightly around her waist and he could almost still smell the alcohol on her breath as she slurred her words together that night. 

She had been trying and failing to make out with him right there in the metro stop. She knew that he wasn’t a big fan of PDA, the problem was that she was a huge fan of it. Whenever she got drunk, she got very handsy. It was usually adorable when they were at home but when they were out in public he didn’t overly like the way she would run her hands up and down his chest seductively like she was in this photo. 

The next photo was of just him. It was of him leaving court one day after testifying against an unsub. It took him a moment to place what the exact cause had been staring at his outfit trying desperately to recall what case he had chosen that tie for. He chewed on the inside of his lip before it came to him. The Evan White case. He was a kid out of Nebraska with a hero complex who was going around killing men who had cases of abuse filed against them. It was a hard case. It was their job to stop the murderer but when the murderer was killing other pieces of shit it was hard sometimes to try and not justify letting them walk. 

Spencer sat the two photos down on his coffee table before pulling out the note. It was one piece of paper with just two sentences typed on it. “I am watching you. I know what you did.” Spencer read the words over and over again trying to make sense of them. He set the paper down on his coffee table alongside the pictures as he realized that his Friday night just got a whole lot stranger. Now instead of having fun casual drinks, they were going to have to talk about a potential stalker. Just great. He thought to himself. And now he wasn’t going to be able to read his books either because his brain was currently far too busy trying to figure out who on Earth could be holding some kind of grudge against him to do this. 

The profiler side of him tried to make sense of the two pictures. They were so different. What could these two possibly have in common? One was just of him exiting court and the other of him with his wife. Maybe this unsub was upset that he testified against Evan but if that were the case why drag (Y/n) into it? Was it just to scare him and show him that he was following him? Spencer rubbed his temple. He then pushed all of the contents back into the envelope checking the time before deciding that he could just head to the bar now. He took the envelope with him back out to his car before heading out to the bar. Maybe his team would be able to **.**

**Atlanta, Georgia**

“So (Y/n),” Grace asked as Louise made her way back to the table carrying the four beers. (Y/n) grabbed hers as did Grace and Megan when Louise set them down. “Are you still liking D.C.?”

“Very much so.” (Y/n) responded smiling. “You know I never really thought that I would leave Georgia but I love D.C. It’s such a great city.”

“I can’t believe you thought that you’d never leave Georgia,” Louise said. “I could not wait to get the fuck out of here. Although I don’t know how you stand living in the city. I honestly can’t stand going to Baltimore propper.”

“How far are you guys from each other?” Megan asked.

“Thirty miles,” Louise responded. 

“That’s crazy,” Grace said. “Like I can’t believe that you both got jobs thirty miles from each other.”

“I’m so glad that it worked out that way though.” (Y/n) said. “It would’ve been so scary moving up here alone.” Next to her Louis nodded her head to agree. “But I mean you guys aren’t too far from each other. You always post together on Instagram.”

“So do you and Louise!” Megan countered.

“Well then maybe we should just take a bunch of pictures tonight girls!” Grace shouted and they all burst out laughing as Grace pulled out her phone to snap more pictures. There was no telling how many pictures she already had. 

(Y/n) took another drink of her beer listening as the girls talked about their careers and lives. It was amazing how much each of them had done with their degree, sometimes (Y/n) kind of felt like she hadn’t really lived up to her full potential when she heard about what her friends were doing. Louise was a juvenile corrections worker in Baltimore. Grace had gotten on with the University of Georgia after graduation citing that she just wasn’t ready to leave yet. So she got involved in undergraduate admissions. And then there was Megan who traveled all across the world teaching abroad. Compared to them, (Y/n) felt like she hadn’t really accomplished all that much considering she was just a fourth-grade teacher. But she was happy with her choices and her job and that’s all that really mattered.

“So (Y/n).” Megan started snapping (Y/n) out of her trance. “How is Mr.Reid?”

“It’s Dr.” Louise snaps and both (Y/n) and Lousie then burst out laughing. 

“I can’t believe you’re actually getting married,” Grace said once the laugher had died down. “Let me see that ring again!” she demanded as (Y/n) held out her hand for Grace and Megan to both look at the ring. “It’s so pretty (Y/n),” Grace said. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you.” (Y/n) said smiling as she remembered the way that he just so casually asked her to marry him while cooking for her. It was simple but so him and she absolutely loved it. It was the kind of story that no one would be jealous about when they first hear it but then they would sit and think about it and the longer they would think about it the cuter it would get. Which she actually felt described Spencer to T.

“So when is the date?”

“June 10th” (Y/n) responded. “It feels so far away.”

“It will be here before you know it,” Megan responded. “And do you know where you are going for the honeymoon?”

“I think we are just going to go out to Montana.”

“Montana? What the fuck?” Grace asked.

“No you should see this place Grace,” Louise responded. “I mean it’s fucking gorgeous. So romantic. It’s like this massive lodge out by the national park. Stunning. Absolutely breathtaking. I could not believe it when she showed me the pictures.” (Y/n) nodded as she pictured the beautiful resort she and Spencer had found online. 

“Okay, but can I ask the question that all of us are thinking but no one is going to ask?” Megan asked looking at the three girls who just nodded their approval. (Y/n) grabbed her beer, taking a drink curious as to what Meg was about to ask. “At this wedding, will there be any like cute single FBI agents there that we can also snag? Because it’s not fair that you get the whole package in one. I mean not only is a genius but he is so fucking hot and he’s a lot of people’s hero.” (Y/n) smiled at that, Meg was right, despite what Spencer would say if he were sitting here, he was a lot of people’s hero. The amount of good he has put into the world never ceases to amaze (Y/n). 

“Thank you,” Lousie shouted in (Y/n)’s ear. “You should see his best friend. Holy mama! Anytime (Y/n) invites me out with her and Spencer the first question I ask is, ‘is Derek going to be there.” 

(Y/n) laughed, she was not exaggerating when she said she asked that every time. It was like clockwork. “Okay, I have to see a picture of this guy,” Grace said.

“No way,” Louise said. “If you do you’ll just want to snatch him up for yourself.”

“Louise, we live nearly 700 miles away. It’s not really that big of an issue.” Megan said as (Y/n) pulled out her phone scrolling through pictures until she found one. She handed the phone to the two girls across the booth pointing out which one was Morgan.

“Okay, I lied,” Meg said. “I am packing up my bags and moving to D.C. tonight.” 

Lousie slaps the table before yelling “I swear to God Megan.”

“Wait,” Grace said zooming in. “I’m more interested in this one, what’s her deal?” Grace turned the phone around where she had zoomed in on Emily.

“That’s Emily.” (Y/n) said. “She’s really nice and I don’t think that she’s seeing anyone.”

“Ooh,” Lousie said. “See (Y/n). Imagine how happy we could all be, marrying FBI agents living in D.C. together.” She sand with her hand pressed over her heart.

“I need another drink.” (Y/n) said as all the girls began laughing and (Y/n) pulled herself out of the booth. “Anyone wants anything.” Each girl rattled off a drink order before (Y/n) headed back up to the bar. She took a seat at one of the empty stools while signaling over the bartender. While sitting there she could feel a man’s eyes on her and while she tried to ignore it the best she could eventually she glanced over and made eye contact with him. 

The man immediately looked down studying his drink as if it held the answer to every unsolved mystery in the world. (Y/n) watched him for a second. “Hi.” She said, maybe it was the alcohol but something about this man seemed familiar. “Do I know you?” She asked and when he looked up she placed him immediately. “Timothy’s dad right?” She asked and the man broke out into a huge smile. (Y/n) laughed, crossing her arms over her chest. “What a small world.” She said before she scooted down to be seated next to the man.

“It’s Ms.Watson right? Fourth grade?” He asked and (Y/n) nodded. “That was a rough year for Tim.” He said after a moment and (Y/n) only nodded remembering very vividly how rough of a year that was. The man in front of her whose name she was completely blanking on for some reason had been in her classroom quite a few times for disciplinary actions being taken against Tim.

“How have you been?” (Y/n) asked.

“Pretty good all things considered. What brings you down to Georgia?” He asked her and (Y/n) noded it was a fair question.

“I’m from here. Went to school over at UGA. I’m just here catching up with some friends. What about you? Do you still live in D.C.?”

“I do.” He said. “My ex’s parents live here, we are doing Christmas this week since things were a little hectic for us this past month or so.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. I’m glad that you’re getting to celebrate though.” (Y/n) said as she glanced back to the table where her friends were very loudly laughing while patiently waiting on the drinks that she was supposed to bring them. “I should probably get back to my table. But it was so nice running into you.” (Y/n) said as she started to stand up but Tim’s dad grabbed her wrist lightly.

“Do you think it would be possible for us to perhaps exchange phone numbers and meet up in D.C.?” He asked. “I just would really like someone to talk to. It’s been a rough year, Aimee left me and she ended up winning the custody battle for Tim.”

(Y/n) opened her mouth once glancing back at the table. Louise motioned for her to come back to them. (Y/n) then turned her attention back to the man with a polite smile. “Sure.” She said grabbing a napkin and scribbling her phone number down on it. “Can you remind me of your name just one more time?” She asked. “I swear if I was sober I would know it.” She lied to make it seem less rude.

“It’s Peter.” He responded as he took the napkin. “And it was so nice seeing you again (Y/n).” (Y/n) returned his smile before grabbing the drink and heading back to her friends.

“Everything okay?” Grace asked.

“Yeah. Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” (Y/n) responded as she passed out the drinks and the girls quickly fell back into the natural rhythm of conversation they had before.

**Washington D.C.**

Spencer sat down at the table with the rest of the team when he pulled out the envelope. They had all agreed to take a look at it when he mentioned that he had received a note from what he thinks might be a stalker. A threat to one person on the team was a threat to everyone.

“Okay.” Emily started. “Can you think of anyone that you might have pissed off? Or what you think the note is implying that you did?”

Spencer shook his head. He had been thinking of that ever since he had opened the envelope. The best thing he could come up with was that someone was mad that he had testified against Evan but that still didn’t explain the picture of him and (Y/n) which was also what was stumping the rest of the team.

“What if this has nothing to do with the picture itself and it is more just a gesture?” JJ asked. “I mean maybe he’s just trying to show that he has been following you and knows your schedule.”

“Maybe.” Morgan agreed. “But this is a pretty close up picture.” He said looking back at the two photos in front of them. “Actually they are both really close up. And they are very clear which implies that they were not taken with a phone.”

“So the unsub would have either had to use a camera with a nice zoom lens or he was close enough to you that he didn’t need to zoom at all,” Aaron said. “He could’ve used a lens at the White trial, with all the media he wouldn’t have stood out. If it were just the one photo I would say that we need to be looking at the media, but there is no way that he would’ve been able to use a lens down in the metro station, someone would’ve seen him.”

“It’s the note that concerns me,” Rossi said as JJ and Morgan nodded to agree. “‘I know what you did’? You can’t think of anything that you might have done?” Rossi asked. 

“No,” Reid said. “I can’t think of anything. I haven’t done anything outside of my normal routine.”

“Well he doesn't seem to be threatening you,” Hotch said, examining the note one more time. “And this slipped under your door when he knew that you would be gone, which implies that he had no intention of ever coming face to face with you.”

“What are you thinking then?” Rossi asked. “Because I’m thinking that it’s someone who was mad that we got involved and got Evan White sent to jail. I mean we all saw the way that town paraded him as a hero.”

“I agree,” JJ said. “He could have chosen any court case and he chose this one. And he chose to leave the note for you just one week after the trial. He chose that trial for a very specific reason.”

“So what do I do?” Spencer asked. “Just let it go for now?”

The team was silent for a moment, none of them wanting to say what they were all thinking. “I think that we keep a close eye on this,” Hotch said. “I don’t think that he’s going to escalate to violence if anything he’s just going to watch you from afar. I think the best thing you can do is be very aware of your surroundings, anyone who is taking pictures, or who you see at more than one place.”

“I can do that,” Spencer said, feeling slightly better. He could keep track of who he has seen in multiple places that would be easy. And while it slightly concerned him that they were not taking immediate action he also understood that from a profiling standpoint it did not seem like this unsub was going to rise to violence. Like Hotch said it seemed far more likely that he was just going to watch from a distance until he gets bored and then he’ll go find the next person to harass. “Thank you, guys,” Spencer said, slipping the envelope back into his bag for safekeeping.

**2018 October**

**Bar Harbor, Maine**

“Wendy!” Peter shouted standing in their living room. “Get out of bed sleepy head. I’ve got a surprise for you.” He heard Wendy shout something although he wasn’t able to catch what before he heard her moving in the bedroom. A few moments later she came out with her robe wrapped tightly around her. 

“Another surprise?” Wendy asked.

“Uh-huh,” Peter said, taking her hand in his and leading her out to the driveway. Cherry followed the two of them, staying as close to Wendy as she could. The dog liked Peter just fine but she really loved Wendy. “Okay now cover your eyes,” Peter instructed as they made it to the front door.

“No Peter.” Wendy protested but one look at Peter and she moved her hands over her eyes.

“Ready?” Peter asked and Wendy nodded her eyes still covered. Peter then opened the front door and instructed Wendy to uncover her eyes.

What she saw shocked her to the core. There in their driveway was a brand new convertible Fiat. “Oh my gosh. No fucking way.” Wendy yelled at him before throwing her arms around her neck. “Am I dreaming.”

“You are not,” Peter said before handing her the keys. She excitedly ran over to the bright red car climbing into the driver seat and starting the engine. 

“Oh my gosh, Peter,” Wendy said. “First Cherry and now this? My mind is moving a mile an hour.”

“That fast?” Peter asked and the two of them burst out laughing. It was nice to have someone who understood her jokes. 

Wendy ran her hands over the steering wheel playing with the radio and she inhaled the smell of the new car. But then she remembered the conversation she had not too long ago about how she couldn't have a job due to not having a social security number. “Wait.” She asked. “I thought you said that I wouldn’t be able to drive anywhere since I didn’t have a car.”

“Yes, I did.” Peter responded “and while it still makes me nervous I might have found a loophole” Wendy looked at him willing him to continue. “Fake IDs are a lot different than they were when you and I were in college.” He said. “Now you can get a fake ID with your name and your picture on it. And these are actually able to be swiped which means that if a police officer pulls you over this is going to actually pull you up in his database as Wendy Arnett.” He said reaching into his pocket to pull out an id which he handed to her.

She took the card and examined it closely, holding it up to the sunlight. It looked just like a real driver’s license, the quality was impressive. Even her picture looked like an actual DMV photo. She studied her face closely in it, her first thought when she saw it was that the girl in the photo was not her but then she looked into the review mirror of the car and was reminded for the hundredth time that that was what she looked like now. 

“That being said.” Peter continued. “I would really appreciate it if you were to follow the law to a T because while it should work I would prefer to not change it” Wendy nodded in agreement. The last thing she wanted was to be pulled over, she didn’t want to have to deal with that kind of stress.

“So does this mean that I can go anywhere I want.”

“Within reason,” Peter responded. “If you want to go get changed though we could use a grocery run and I’ll let you go all by yourself. That is assuming you still know how to drive.”

Wendy laughed getting out of the car and shoving him playfully. “Of course I still know how to drive. It hasn’t been  _ that  _ long.”

“I know,” Peter responded. “I was just teasing.” he finished as Wendy hurried into the house to get ready as fast as she could. Twenty minutes later and she was kissing Peter at the front door shopping list in hand. 

Once outside she went back to the car starting up the engine, her heart racing at the mere sound. She then clicked a few buttons and watched in awe as the top rolled back on the car. Sure it was going to be a little cold with the top down but there was no way in hell she was going to drive all the way to the grocery store with it up. The fresh air would feel amazing she could already tell.

After plugging in her phone and getting a playlist set she put the car in reverse and backed out the driveway waving at Peter from the window as she went. When she pulled onto the main road she was extra careful to follow all the speed limits and make full stops at each stop sign. It was strange being behind the wheel again she was sad to admit. The feeling of having complete control again was almost intoxicating. 

When she pulled onto the ramp to merge on the highway she couldn’t help but floor it. The feeling of the little car accelerating down the ramp was exhilarating. She threw her arm out the window as she cranked the radio up belting out the song lyrics. 

When she came up to her exit she was almost sad to be getting off the highway. A voice in the back of her brain told her that she could go a few more exits if she wanted to and then just backtrack to the grocery store but she ultimately decided against it as Peter would be furious if he found out and she did not want to test him on this. This was the first step towards having more freedom and if she pushed him too far he could very easily take it all back.

Wendy pulled the car into the parking lot before raising the top. It was grey outside and looked like it would rain at any moment but then again that was just Maine in October. She got out of the car grabbing her purse as she did before locking the door.

The grocery store here was almost right on the water, like almost everything else in this town, she could actually hear the waves crashing against the rocky shore as she made her way inside. It was a nice sound, one that she found comforting on her bad days. When she was struggling with everything she would just go outside and watch the waves violently crash ashore and it somehow made her calmer to know that even the waves sometimes needed to release their energy. 

Inside the grocery store, Wendy grabbed a cart pulling out both her phone and her grocery lists. She sent a quick message to Peter letting him know that she made it safely to the store and that she would let him know when she was leaving as well.

She pushed her cart down the aisle grabbing various items off the shelf. It was so nice to be here alone and feel completely fine. It was amazing to hear how quickly she fell back into old patterns. She largely had Peter to thank for that. He was the one that rescued her, which saved her from an awful situation. If it wasn’t for him she would probably be dead buried in a very deep grave where no one would ever be able to find her. She shuddered at the thought as she grabbed the milk and eggs. 

As she wandered down the aisle by aisle Wendy couldn’t help but throw a few things into the cart that weren’t on her list. She grabbed a thing of Oreos and sour patch kids. Peter wouldn't mind if she told herself and even if he said anything she would say that she was treating herself for making such great progress. As she looked at all the cookie options she decided that maybe she would get cookie dough and make cookies for the two of them.

Wendy was standing in the cookie dough aisle when it happened. She heard his voice before she saw his face and his voice alone made her stop dead in her tracks dropping the thing of cookie dough that was in her hands. Looking around hoping no one saw her she quickly picked the cookie dough up throwing it in her cart and heading up to the front of the store wanting to get out of here as soon as possible. Unfortunately for her, the front of the store was where her terror was coming from she realized as she rounded the corner to see the large television streaming his face. 

Everyone in the store seemed to be gathered watching the screen before them. Wendy froze like a deer in headlights unable to look away no matter how much her brain screamed at her too. She watched in horror as Spencer strolled across the stage taking his place at the podium. He was wearing navy pants and a nice dress shirt with a tie that she had bought him. A tie that she remembered all too well, her wrist burning as if it was still wrapped around her. 

“Thank you.” He said weakly before looking into the camera. “My name is um Spencer Reid.” He said stuttering looking over to someone off-camera. He then took a deep breath almost as if to compose himself before continuing to speak. “My name is Spencer Reid.” He started again and Wendy’s hands began to shake uncontrollably. “And I’m standing here today because 13 months ago my wife, (Y/n) Reid disappeared from our home. The FBI is asking anyone who has any information on her whereabouts to please contact the number on the bottom of their screen. She was taken from the Washington D.C. area but we no longer believe her to be in this area. Please if you are out there and you know something please call.” He begged, reaching up to wipe his face. 

“You think he did it?” One of the customers asked out loud to everyone who was standing around watching. “I mean that girl has to be dead. 13 months is a long time.”

“I read online that he’s already done time in federal prison for murder. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he killed her. She’s a cute little thing, probably had some side boy and when he found out he killed her. And lord knows that he would know how to get away with it.” The cashier said as people in the room kind of nodded to agree.

Wendy ignored them, gripping her shopping cart with everything she had. She started to turn to walk away when he pulled her right back in. “(Y/n).” He said his voice barely above a whisper. He sounded so broken that it almost made her tear up a little bit too. “If you are out there and if you are hearing this then please just come home. And if you can’t then hang tight, I will find you. I swear to God I will find you. I don’t care if it’s tomorrow or fifteen years from now, I will never stop looking for you. If you are the person who has and you’re listening to this,  _ please _ let her go.” He begged. “I love her  _ so much  _ and I just” he choked on her words sobbing through his shoulders. “I just want her back.  _ Please. _ ” He finished as best he could. Wendy watched as Derek entered the screen to grab a hold of Reid and help him off-camera where he could fall apart without the public eye on him.

Feeling sick to her stomach, Wendy bolted out the door as quickly as she could without looking suspicious. As she was heading out she heard the customers of the store debate whether or not she was still alive but she paid no mind to them as she ran to her car getting in the driver's seat and locking the door as she sobbed out loud.

The familiar panic feeling started weighing down on her chest as she felt the car start to spin. She tried to steady her breathing but no matter how hard she couldn’t. All she could hear was Reid saying over and over again that he was going to find her. She tried to breathe but no matter how much her lungs took in it still wasn’t enough. Recognizing what was happening to her, she reached for her phone and immediately dialed Peter.

“Wendy?” he asked as he picked up on the first ring. She tried to say something but couldn’t get any words to come out of her mouth. “What’s wrong Wendy?” He asked as she just gasped into the phone over and over again trying and failing to breathe. “Alright,” he said to her. “Hang on I will be there as soon as possible baby” Wendy nodded. “Can you stay on the phone with me?”

Wendy continued to just sob into her phone her breathing growing more and more uneven. “Wendy, I want you to close your eyes,” he said and she did as she was told. “Alright, can you run your hands down your sweater and tell me what you feel?” Wendy did what she was asked feeling the soft material under her fingers. 

“Soft” she gasped out.

“Good.” He said to her. “Keep doing that for me okay? Keep focusing on that.” She nodded to herself as she continued to rub her hands down her sweater. She slowly opened her eyes and locked her eyes on the small pink bag that was on in her passenger seat. She focused on the bag and the sweater and only those two things before she let the rest fade away. 

Slowly on instinct, she raised her pointer finger and pinky up to her nose holding one nostril and breathing in before doing the same to the other. While doing that she was able to slow down her breathing enough that she was no longer hyperventilating. “Wendy?” Peter asked. “I’m almost there, how are you doing?”

She continued to focus on her breathing before she answered. “Better.” She whispered. “Please hurry.” It was only a few more minutes after that before his SUV pulled out into the spot next to her. Within an instant, he was out of the car and throwing open her driver's door to scoop her up in his arms. 

“You’re okay” he whispered. “I’ve got you.” She nodded against him, grabbing fistfuls of his sweatshirt.

“I’m sorry” she replied after her breathing had slowed and she trusted her voice enough to speak.

“It was that interview wasn’t it?” He asked and her breath hitched even thinking about it. “I knew as soon as I saw that fucker's face on tv that you were going to panic.” She nodded into him refusing to let go and refusing to pull her face away. “Alright.” He said after a moment. “Let’s get you home”

She nodded into him as he pulled away, she tried to reach back out to him but he had already turned away heading back to the SUV. She made sure her car was locked before she got into the passenger seat of the SUV. She leaned back into the seat closing her eyes as he drove her home. He told her that tomorrow when she was feeling better they could come up here and do the grocery shopping together and then she can drive her car back to the house. She nodded again trying to not think about whether or not she just screwed up her one shot at more freedom.

It wasn’t until much later that night when she laid in bed next to a sleeping Peter that she allowed her mind to travel to the one place that she had been avoiding for the past year. She thought about Spencer and the way that he sobbed on live television while he begged for her to come home. The version of the man she saw on tv was a skeleton of a man, he looked like someone who had lost everything, and yet he was still fighting. Her mind had a hard time reconciling the fact that this was the same Spencer who used to come home from rough cases after one too many beers and take out his anger in the world on her. The man who stood up on live television begging for his wife’s safe return was not the same man that she left and she didn’t know how to think or feel about that. 

**\----**

**October 2019**

**Washington D.C.**

(Y/n) sat on her brother’s couch staring at all the framed pictures all over the wall. The house was not at all the same as it was when she had left it two years ago, then ago nothing was the same as when she had left. Sam and Sonya now had a one-year-old daughter named Kara. Three years ago she would’ve been ecstatic for them after they tried for so long, but now she just couldn’t bring herself to care. 

She was revolted by the fact that she was back here in D.C. This is not where she belonged anymore. She wanted to go  _ home.  _ She wanted to go back to Maine, to stand on the shore and watch the waves. It was too fucking sunny here, too hot in October. The police told her that she wasn’t allowed to go home because it was a crime scene now.  _ A crime scene.  _ That word echoed around in her head over and over again. Her home was a crime scene. She was a victim. When they had called her that she laughed out loud, the police didn’t seem to find any part of it funny. Then a doctor came in to tell her that she was experiencing Stockholm syndrome, that she didn’t really love Peter, she just thought that she did because he held her  _ captive  _ for two years. Those were the doctor's exact words.  _ Captive.  _

Then Spencer who was sitting quietly in the back of the room chimed in that Peter was going to go jail for a very long time for what he did. That caused (Y/n) to promptly start screaming that she wanted him out of her room. She didn’t want to see him. 

Once he was gone she had tried to explain to the doctors and police the situation she had found herself in but all they gave her with sympathetic looks. She wanted them to help her to arrest Spencer for what he had done, not Peter. They had the wrong guy but no one would listen to her. So when they told her that was being released from the hospital and that she was able to go home with her husband she refused. Luckily her brother was there and offered to take her in, not that it was ideal but it was better than going anywhere with Reid. 

Which is exactly how she found herself here, on her brother’s couch at ten pm at night dreading having to go to sleep without Peter. Sam came back into the living room with a cup of tea which he set down in front of her. “I’m glad to have you back (Y/n).” (Y/n) didn’t say anything as she took a sip of her tea, it burnt her tongue but that feeling was better than all the other feelings she was currently having. “He’s worried about you.”

“I don’t care.” She snapped, setting the mug down on the coffee table. “I’m not going to ever go back with him.” She said be careful to avoid using the word home because the home was in Maine.

“(Y/n),” Sam said. 

“No,” (Y/n) said. “Don’t. Please don’t do this. You have no idea the horrors that I lived through with him. Peter saved me. Spencer should be behind bars, not Peter.” She shouted and from above she heard the sounds of Kara crying. Sam gave her a look as if to say please keep your voice down but she really didn’t care. “I’m going upstairs,” she said, grabbing her tea and heading up the wood stairs to where the guest bedroom was. 

Once inside she closed the door sitting down on the bed staring and the blank walls and her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was still jet black, it made Reid cry when he came into the hospital to see her. He didn’t know that she was awake as she laid extremely still hoping that if he thought she was asleep he wouldn't hurt her. It used to work when they were married. But being not asleep meant that she didn’t miss the conversation he had with a nurse about how her hair got to be that color. The nurse told him that Peter did it which only made him cry harder. It was fucking hair for God’s sake she had thought to herself. 

(Y/n) got off the bed and walked over to the vanity table sitting on the little stool. She smiled at her reflection before she tried the frowning. It was then that she realized she no longer recognized herself. There was a permanent sadness behind her eyes that didn’t go away no matter how big she tried to smile. She tried to ignore the overwhelming feeling but eventually, it became too much. So before she could stop herself she raised her hand and smashed the glass watching as it shattered, the pieces being scattered all over the table and the floor. Without being able to see herself she felt calmer as she went back to sit on the bed. She wanted to sleep but knew that it would be a long time before sleep would come back to her. If it ever did that was. 

\-----

There was a soft knock on the door that interrupted Sam and Sonya’s fight about whether or not it was their responsibility to house (Y/n). Sam excused himself promising Sonya that they could have this conversation in the morning when they were each thinking more clearly. Sam opened the front door to Louise who was standing there with a small smile on her face. “Hey,” he said. “She just went upstairs so I’m not sure that she’s up for talking.” He trailed off when he saw both Reid and Morgan standing behind Louise. “You really shouldn’t be here.” He said to Spencer.

“Sam,” Spencer said. “She’s my wife.”

“Yeah well, she’s also terrified of you.”

“You know that it’s an irrational fear,” Spencer said.

“Well, it’s a fear none the less.” Sam countered, glancing up the stairs. He was worried that if (Y/n) so much as heard his voice it would set her off. He could hear her screaming all the way down the hall when she woke and Spencer was there. It was bad and he didn’t really want to have one of those episodes here tonight. 

“Let’s go outback,” he suggested and the three of them nodded walking into the house to go out onto his back deck. Outside they all took seats at his table. 

“Is she okay?” Louise asked.

“Physically yes,” Sam responded. “But emotionally? She will probably be in therapy for the rest of her life.”

“This is all my fault,” Spencer said as he put his head in his hands. 

“Don’t say that Reid,” Morgan said, reaching over to pat Spencer on the back. “She’s here. She’s alive, that's all that matters.”

“Did she talk at all about what happened?” Louise asked. “About Peter?”

Sam glanced over at Spencer who still had his head down. “She did.” He said slowly watching as Spencer’s head snapped up. “I know that this is difficult to hear.” Sam continued. “But she thinks that she was in love with him. Peter saved her from you.” Sam finished pursing his lips together.

Spencer nodded once. “She thinks that I was abusing her.” he let out a sharp breath at the words, his heart clenching. His wife whom he would’ve done anything to protect thought that he was hurting her. “She freaked out in the hospital when she realized I was in the room.” He said remembering the way that she started thrashing around on the bed when he tried to take her hand and tell her how much he missed her. 

“That’s why she refused to go home with you,” Sam said. “She is convinced that you were hitting her.”

“That’s fucking ridiculous.” Louise all but yelled. “I mean you?” She asked Spencer. “You look like you couldn’t hurt an ant. Why does she think that? It’s not like he could alter her memory and she has no memory of you hitting her right?” 

Spencer shook his head no, the thought of him raising a hand to her made him want to vomit. “I don’t know.” He responded honestly.

Derek sighed. “I know that it pains you to say that.” 

Spencer nodded once. “She obviously refused to tell me anything about what happened. But it’s possible if Peter was somehow able to put the idea in her head when she was at a moment of weakness that her brain would start filling in gaps.”

“What would cause that?” Louise asked. “Like drugs?”

Spencer nodded “Either drugs or extreme torture.”

“God please let it be drugs,” Derek said and they all nodded. Spencer was already shaking at the idea that she might have been tortured into believing that he would hurt her. All he wanted to do was walk into that house and find her, wrap her in his arms and never let go. All he could think about was how he must have really fucked up in a past life for the universe to be this against him. What a cruel twist of fate for his wife to come back to him unharmed only for her to be afraid of him. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please like a comment of kudo if you enjoyed it :)
> 
> Find me on Tumblr at https://nataliecarsonsuniverse.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**2015 November**

**Washington D.C.**

“Spencer!” (Y/n) whined from the bathroom as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her neck and chest were absolutely covered in hickeys while her wrists each had several bruises from the night before. “I told you no marks.” She said as he walked into the bathroom taking a look at her reflection in the mirror before he wrapped his arms around her from behind nuzzling his face into her neck.

“I’m sorry.” He said and with any other guy she would be absolutely pissed right now but she knew Spencer meant it when he said that he was sorry. “I got a bit carried away.”

“Clearly,” (Y/n) said. “God I’m going to look so unprofessional in front of these parents today.” She ran her fingers over the bruises on her neck while he left the bathroom retreating into the bedroom to grab something. Once he was out of sight she allowed herself to smile as she looked at them. She was mad without a doubt but there was also a small part of her that loved that she could see just how much she drove him crazy.

“Why don’t you have any turtle necks?” He shouted from the bedroom.

“Because I don’t like them.” She yelled back. 

Spencer then came back into the bathroom holding up an infinity scarf. “Would this work?”

“It will be better than nothing,” (Y/n) responded by taking the scarf from him. She then reached down into the cabinet to pull out her makeup bag as she applied a ridiculous amount of concealer all over her neck hoping that it wouldn’t be obvious what she was trying to hide. Once she was finished and got dressed ready to go for the day, she slipped the scarf on. “How does it look?”

“Shit.” He said. “I’m sorry (Y/n) .”

“Oh my gosh does it look that bad?” (Y/n) shrieked at him turning in the mirror to see that it was still pretty obvious that they were there. “You’re the fucking worst.” She said to him. 

“I’m sorry.” He repeated and she laughed slightly easing his nerves. “I just got carried away when I remembered that you actually agreed to marry me.”

(Y/n) smiled, her eyes tearing up slightly as she remembered the two of them walking down Tidal Basin last night when he got down on one knee and asked her to spend the rest of her life with him. It was adorable how nervous he was and last night as she laid in his arms he confessed that he didn’t really expect her to say yes. Which she promptly reminded him “for a genius, my genius is pretty dumb.”

“It will be fine,” (Y/n) said, kissing him once, cupping his face in her hands. “I’m not seeing any students today, it’s just parents, everyone in the room will be an adult today. It’s going to be embarrassing as fuck, but not the end of the world.” She said looking at herself in the mirror one more time adjusting the scarf. “And the scarf hides it well enough that no one is going to really notice unless they are looking for it.”

Spencer nodded hoping that she was right. He glanced at the clock before realizing just how late it had gotten. “You should go or else you’re going to be late.”

(Y/n) nodded before kissing him one last time. “Call me if you end up having to leave?” She asked to hope that he didn’t hear the tremble in her voice. She didn’t want him to leave, at least not yet. She wanted just a few more days where the two of them could live in this little bubble without any distractions from the outside world.

“Of course,” Spencer said. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” (Y/n) responded, grabbing her bag and heading out the door blowing him one last air kiss before she went. Outside in the hall, she broke out in the widest smile as she realized just how happy she was. 

**Late August 2017**

**Washington D.C.**

It was three am when Spencer woke up gasping for air his throat abnormally dry. He sat up in bed grabbing the sheets trying to ground himself. “Spence,” (Y/n) whispered, rolling over and reaching out for him. 

“It’s okay babe.” He responded reaching down and tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ears. “Just go back to sleep.”

“Spence,” (Y/n) said again and the way she said made his heartbreak. She reached out and grabbed onto his arm and as much as he was trying to ground himself by grabbing the sheets it did nothing compared to her touch.

“It was just a dream,” Spencer whispered to her knowing that she wasn’t really awake and in the morning she would have no recollection of this conversation. “I’m just going to get some water.” He finished climbing out of bed. As soon as he did he watched as she curled up into herself gripping tightly to the warm sheets that he had just left behind.

The cold air of the apartment felt nice against his clammy skin as he walked down the hall toward the kitchen. He flicked on the hallway light as he walked stopping dead in his tracks when he noticed the white envelope slipped under the door. He stared at it hoping that maybe if he just pretended it wasn’t there it would go away. This was the eleventh envelope he had received since the first one. There was one for every month. Each envelope contained an ominous threat and several pictures of him. As the months have passed there have been more and more pictures indicating that this unsub was escalating. Till there was no trace of who he might be or why he might be targeting Spencer. The BAU has been keeping a close eye on it but it was still unnerving. 

This one particular though was unnerving to him because it was the first envelope dropped off when he was at home. All the other ones had been dropped off when he was away on the case, but this one was dropped sometime in the last three hours. (Y/n) and he had gone to bed around midnight and when they had gone to bed there had been no envelope.

He picked the envelope up off the floor walking over to the kitchen where he got himself a glass of water. He then took a deep breath resting his elbows on the counter putting his head down on his arms. After a few minutes, he picked himself up and opened the envelope dumping the contents out on the counter. What he saw however when the photos landed had him running over the to sink and emptying the contents of his stomach. 

There were twelve pictures this time, the most that had ever come in an envelope. And this time they weren’t just pictures of them out doing their daily routine. These pictures were taken from inside the house. There were pictures of him and (Y/n) laying on the couch, laying in bed, in the bathroom, the kitchen, everywhere. Spencer threw up again.

Once he felt settled enough to move away from the sink he walked back over and read the note carefully. “You think you can hide from me?” It asked. “I know exactly what you’ve done and you will pay for your sins. Soon.” Shaking Spencer picked up the pictures looking through them trying to contain his stomach. A part of him felt weak for throwing up over this. He spent all day looking at dead bodies and yet a few pictures was causing him to empty his stomach twice? Then again though he thought that at least deserved the right to feel this way.

These pictures instantly brought the dream that had him leaving the comfort of his bed unable to contain the sobs that wracked his body. He had a dream that he lost (Y/n) the same way that he lost Maeve and he just couldn’t handle that. Not again. In his dream, the stalker had become irate at Spencer for whatever reason and decided to take it out against (Y/n). He dreamed of finding her in an alley, her body covered with burns and bruises. He dreamed of her screaming out his name as she was brutally tortured and yet there was nothing he could do to save her. He couldn't lose her. He just couldn’t.

Knowing that he was going to have to make a call to the BAU at this point, Spencer flipped through the pictures until he found the one that he was looking for. The one that he was not interested in anyone seeing. It was of the two of them in the bedroom very clearly having sex. It was destroying evidence and he knew that but what difference would it make? It was one picture and the idea of everyone on his team seeing and then of it being logged into evidence was more horrifying than losing his job over destroying evidence. So he took the photo and ripped it up before putting it down the garbage disposal. 

He looked at the time trying to decide if it was too late to call everyone. It was after 3:30 in the morning and while this could probably wait until morning light, the idea of being in their house knowing there were cameras everywhere made him want to get sick again. The unsub could be watching him right now for all he knew. 

But then he remembered (Y/n) who was sound asleep in the next room over if he called them all right now, his house was no doubt going to turn into a crime scene, everyone would be over here combing over every centimeter of this place. There was no way that she would be able to just stay in the bedroom sleeping through all that. And maybe it was wrong, but he wasn’t quite ready to tell her what was going on. He didn’t want to worry her, she was always worried about him and he didn’t want to add more to it. Nor did he want her to feel unsafe in their home.

So that made his decision for him, he would call them first thing tomorrow morning and ask that they come over to his house instead of going to the office, then they could find all the cameras and figure out how the unsub got into the apartment. 

Spencer shut off all the lights in the house praying that the camera did not have night time vision as he headed back to their bedroom. He pulled the blinds in the room blocking out any kind of light before he crawled back into bed. He then pulled the blanket over (Y/n) who was laying there in only one of his t-shirts. The idea that this unsub might have compromising pictures of her made his blood boil. So he did the best he could to cover her with the blanket before pulling her into his arms and holding her as tight as he could. 

“Spence.” she murmured again into his collarbone, her hands grabbing fistfuls of his shirt as he rubbed her back. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing baby.” He responded. “Nothing,” he said again. “It’s all going to be okay.” He whispered almost more for his sake than hers. His eyes remained glued wide open while she peacefully dozed off against his chest. It was going to be okay he promised himself one more time. 

**2015 November**

**Washington D.C.**

Peter and Aimee walked down the long corridor of the school where Tim went. “This is all your fault,” Aimee said bitterly as they continued to walk down toward the classroom where they were to meet Tim’s teacher Ms.Watson. “You’re a bad influence on him.” Aimee continued. “I’m tired of constantly having to hear about how Time is misbehaving in class.”

“We don’t know that that is what she’s going to say,” Peter said back the anger evident in his voice. “They are having parent-teacher conferences with everyone you know?”

“Oh, I’m sure that she’s about to tell us he’s an angel. Is that really what you think?” Aimee asked him as they stopped outside the door continuing to bicker until Ms.Watson opened the door for the two of them to come in. 

“Hi.” Ms.Watson greeted the two of them and Peter froze as soon as he laid eyes on her. The resemblance was uncanny. If she were just a few years older he would swear that they were twins. “You guys must be Timmy’s parents.” Peter and Aimee both nodded as Ms.Watson opened the door to let them both into the room. “My name is Ms.Watson but please call me (Y/n). Please come on in.” Peter just stood there in the doorway staring at (Y/n) trying to convince himself that his eyes were betraying him. They had to be related. 

Aimee elbowed Peter breaking him from his trance momentarily as they all entered the classroom. (Y/n) showed them Tim’s desk but Peter didn’t catch a word that she said. All he could think about was Wendy. He had never seen someone who looked so much like her. Even the way she talked sounded like Wendy. She had that southern drawl that he remembered all too well. Wendy was from South Carolina so when she showed up in Nevada it was her accent that got her the most amount of attention. 

“Do you have any siblings?” Peter blurted out before he could stop himself. Was it possible that she shared a parent with Wendy? He never really knew what happened to Wendy’s mom after the incident. It was possible that she moved out here and had another daughter. The timeline checked out. 

“I do,” (Y/n) said, clearly taken aback. Peter wasn’t sure what she was talking about before but it was clear that the question came out of the blue. He didn’t miss the glare that Aimme shot him but he also just didn’t care.

“Sister, brother?” Peter asked.

This time Aimee did step in. “Peter.” She said. “Does this have anything to do with Tim?” Aimee asked. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer that.”

“No it’s okay,” (Y/n) responded, flashing a smile. “I do, I have a brother and a sister.”

“How old is your sister?” Peter asked before he could stop himself. 

“She would've been 35 this year,” (Y/n) responded.

“Would’ve been?” 

“Peter!” Aimee yelled at her husband glancing over at (Y/n) trying to offer a sympathetic smile. “You really don’t have to answer him.” She said again. “I’m not sure what’s gotten into him.”

“Honestly it’s fine,” (Y/n) said. “She was murdered before I was born. I never knew her.”

Peter felt his entire world stop. Here he was in a classroom for his son’s parent-teacher conference and now the woman in front of him was telling him that she was Wendy’s little sister.  _ His Wendy.  _ He stared at her in awe as all the memories of Wendy came rushing back to him. He remembered sitting on the swings with her at recess talking about anything and everything. How he always shared his sandwich with her at lunch because her parents forgot to pack her one. He remembered the day he first felt his heartbreak when he saw her kissing Patrick Owen outside in the school quad and she dug the knife even deeper when she told him that she only saw him as a friend and then when he heard her friends talking and she told them that the idea of kissing him was revolting. 

But then there was the day when he felt a part of himself die. Sitting in the homeroom staring at the empty desk while the principal stood in front of the class trying to explain to them that Wendy would not be coming back. That she had died two days ago. That grief counseling would be offered to any student who felt they needed it. They were twelve years old. He was twelve years old when he watched them lower the small casket into the ground. They said she was gone. But yet here she was sitting right across from him talking about his son.

He tried to listen the best he could, he really did. But his eyes started to wander her face down her neck when he saw the bruises she was trying to cover up. He stared at each of them, poorly covered by makeup hidden below a scarf. It was almost like she wanted someone to notice them. Like she wanted  _ him  _ to notice them. And he did. He noticed them and this time he could save her. He wasn’t going to lose her like he did Wendy.

Peter had spent so long wondering how he missed the signs, how did he not see that Wendy was being abused. She always wore long sleeves even when it was one hundred degrees outside. She was careful to hide her body from prying eyes. Then there was how timid she became around older men, especially father figures. For so long he blamed himself, he could’ve helped her. He could've saved her from a piece of shit dad who one night had a little too much to drink and threw her down the stairs before coming down to finish the job. Twelve years old. 

“Oh, that’s so exciting!” Aimee said looking at the ring that (Y/n) was holding across the table. “Where does he work and what will your last name be?”

“Reid, he’s an FBI agent actually.” (Y/n) answered and that’s when it hit Peter that her fiance was abusing her. Judging from the ring, Peter would say that the fiance was pretty well off which meant that (Y/n) probably felt trapped in the relationship. She needed help he thought to himself and this time he was not going to drop the ball. He was going to save his Wendy this time, he would not lose her again. Aimee said something else but Peter completely turned her out only focusing on Wendy, (Y/n) corrected himself.

So while (Y/n) and Aimee discussed Tim, Peter sat there watching her closely formulating a plan to save her, it would take time no doubt, maybe even years, if her fiance was an FBI agent this plan would have to be perfect so that he could never find them. And while it scared Peter to let her live with him for more than another week he also knew that he could keep close tabs on her and if things started escalating and he thought that she was in danger he could take her a moment. It’s just not what he would prefer to do. Peter watched as (Y/n) cracked a smile at something Aimee said and for the first time since Wendy was buried. Peter thought that everything was going to be okay.

**Late August 2017**

**Washington D.C.**

“This is clear escalation,” Hotch said looking at the pictures while standing in Spencer’s kitchen. Spencer had called the team as soon as (Y/n) left for the day. He hadn’t slept since he found the pictures and he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to for a while either. How was he supposed to sleep in his home when he knew that there were cameras in every room just watching him. 

Garcia was walking around the house with a device that would let her know whenever she was near a listening or recording device. “There’s one over here.” She called the team motioning to the entertainment center in the living room.

Reid and Morgan both made their way over there while the rest of the team stood around Spencer’s kitchen island studying the photos and the note. In the living room, both Spencer and Derek started pulling things off the entertainment center looking for the bug that had been planted.

“Here it is,” Derek said grabbing a picture frame off of one of the shelves. Spencer grabbed it from Morgan covering the camera with his thumb as he looked at the frame, it was just a simple black frame that held a picture of him and (Y/n) from their wedding. “Does this look like the original frame?” Derek asked.

“Exactly,” Spencer said, recalling standing in Hobby Lobby with (Y/n) as they looked at frames. After a while of debating they had both agreed to just go with the simple frames, nothing special but they kind of liked it like that. Derek nodded as Spencer put the picture frame in the ever-growing pile of bugs that had been hidden around his house.

“I think that’s all of them in the living room,” Penelope said. “And we got all the ones out of the kitchen.” Spencer nodded. “Bedroom or bathroom next?” She asked.

“Bathroom,” Spencer responded wanting to avoid his co-workers going through his bedroom as much as possible, plus he hasn’t used the bathroom here since last night. This morning he had lied and told (Y/n) that it was broken and that she wasn’t going to be able to use it. He claimed that he was going to call someone. In reality, though he just couldn’t stand the idea of her in there showering with someone watching her. It made his blood boil just thinking about how long those cameras might have been in there and just how much this unsub might have seen. 

Garcia nodded as he followed her into the bathroom. She took the device and started scanning around. “I’ve got two of them in here.” She said as she and Spencer started going through everything. After looking at every object the two of them faced each other exasperated looks on their face. So far all the buses had been placed in objects but why was this room different?

Spencer looked around the room imagining himself as the unsub trying to decide where to safely hide cameras in a bathroom. It would have to be somewhere where they would never look while also still having a decent angle for watching. Spencer’s eyes traveled up the walls locking onto the vent on the ceiling. Without giving it a second thought he reached up and pulled the vent off the wall feeling around inside the ceiling and sure enough, he pulled out a small little camera.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Penelope said. 

“I’ve already thrown up three times,” Spencer responded.

“We’ve still got one more in here.” She replied as Spencer left the bathroom to put the little camera with the pile of others that would be taken into evidence after Garcia disabled them all. Walking back into the bathroom he took a deep breath trying to assure himself that it was all going to be okay. “I think I found it,” Penelope said. 

“Where?” Spencer asked thankfully that she found it because he really didn’t know where to look next.

Garcia pointed at the mirror before saying “The reflection is slightly distorted, I don’t think this is the original mirror that you guys bought.”

Spencer nodded, pulling the mirror off the wall. “So how do we see if you’re right?” He asked.

“We smash it,” Emily said now standing outside the doorway. She then took the mirror from him before heading out into the living room. She set the mirror down on the floor before turning to Spencer. “Do you have a hammer?” She asked and he nodded before disappearing to go get it. 

When he came back he handed it to Emily and watched as she smashed the mirror to pieces, glass going everywhere on the hardwood floor but then sure enough there was the camera hiding behind the glass. “Wow.” She said after a moment. “This guy is intense.”

Spencer, Garcia, JJ, and Emily then retreated to the bedroom to find the last of the bugs hidden in the apartment. Spencer stood off to the side watching idly as his coworkers tossed every drawer in the room, every nook and cranny they searched until they had all four cameras. Spencer tried to keep his stomach settled as he realized that this unsub had angles of every single inch of the bedroom. He had seen everything. Spencer thought to himself. On the way out of the room, JJ gave Spencer a pat on the shoulder knowing that this was incredibly difficult. 

“Alright, so what do we know?” Hotch asked as everyone joined again in the living room.

“This seems to be really personal,” Derek said. “This unsub clearly thinks that Reid has done something wrong and needs to pay for said thing.”

“He’s got a hero complex,” Prentiss added. “ _ I  _ know what you’ve done.  _ I  _ will make sure you pay. It sounds like he is going to take matters into his own hands.”

“So maybe he thinks that you hurt someone Spence,” JJ said. “Like maybe he’s related somehow to unsub who you had to take down.” 

“Maybe.” Emily agreed. “But this seems more personal than it needs to be. He wants you to know that you’re not safe anywhere, that he’s always watching you. It almost implies that he thinks you are still doing something bad.”

“Rossi?” Aaron asked. “you’ve been awfully quiet, what are you thinking?”

The teams turned their attention to Rossi who was currently still over at the kitchen island examining the pictures closely. “What if this isn’t about Reid?” He asked.

“All the letters have been addressed to him.” Morgan countered. 

“Yes, but look at these pictures,” Rossi said as everyone made their way over the counter. “Almost all of them have (Y/n) in them.”

“She lives here,” Morgan said. 

“I know but it seems to be more than that,” Rossi responded. “She doesn't look happy in any of these. In half of them, it looks like she’s crying and in the other half she looks nervous or almost scared.” 

“That’s ridicu-” Derek started but Rossi cut him off.

“I’m not saying that I think she’s not happy here. She clearly is. I’m just saying it can’t be a coincidence that this unsub was watching all the time but only chose to put pictures where (Y/n) looked unhappy in the envelope. 

“Do you recognize any of these pictures?” Hotch asked Reid and he nodded. 

“Some of them.” He said reaching across the counter he picked up where (Y/n) was sitting on the bathroom toilet sobbing. “This one here was when she had a negative pregnancy test.” He put it in a pile before grabbing another one. “This one,” he said, picking up a photo where (Y/n) was curled into a ball on their bed. “When we got called on an emergency to go to New York at three in the morning, she was upset that I was leaving in the middle of the night.” the team nodded as Spencer picked up the last two photos that he recognized. The first was of the two of them at dinner at a nice restaurant. (Y/n) was wearing a little black dress and one of his cardigans over it. He couldn’t quite remember why she was wearing the cardigan, was it that the restaurant was cold? The other picture was from the same night only this one was taken in their bathroom, she had ditched the cardigan and was looking at her reflection in the mirror while crying. And then just like that, it hit him why she was wearing his cardigan. “He thinks that I’m abusing her,” he said quietly.

“What?” JJ all but shouted. “Spence, how could he think that?”

Spencer put the picture of the two pictures down on the counter. “These were taken the same night.” He said. “She’s wearing the cardigan in the restaurant about four days before she had been in a pretty bad car accident down in Georgia, she had a lot of bruises and a pretty bad rash from where the seat belt had cut into her.”

“That’s why you drove to Georgia in the middle of the night,” Garcia said, all of a sudden.

“Yeah.” He said. “She was admitted overnight to the hospital because they thought that she might have a concussion.”

“The bruises themself aren’t really too obvious in this photo,” JJ said. “I can see some discoloration but I wouldn’t immediately jump to the idea of bruises.”

“But he’s been watching,” Reid said. “He saw her come home with all these bruises, saw her struggle to lay down at night because she was in so much pain, hell he even watched her cry in the shower because the water burnt the cuts so bad.”

“Sure” JJ agreed. “But he also would’ve seen you there to take care of her I assume.” Spencer nodded.

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Hotch said. “He had already made up his mind that she was being abused. Plus we all know that the abusers will often take care of their significant other after they hit them.” They all nodded.

“So just to recount, this unsub thinks (Y/n) is being abused and that’s why he keeps saying that Reid needs to pay for what he’s done.”

“Right,” Hotch said. “I don’t think it’s safe for you and (Y/n) to stay here. This unsub has made it into this house before without being detected, he knows your guy’s schedules, he knows just about everything there is to know about you too. Where is (Y/n) now?”

“She’s at school.” He responded to the panic rising in his throat. “Where are we supposed to go?”

“There’s a safe house out in Maryland that we can transfer you guys to tonight. Since she is in a school I would say that she’s pretty safe there, we will let her finish her day, and then we will pick her up and take you guys to the house.”

“What about work? I mean can we both still work?”

“I’m sorry,” Hotch said. “I think that the best thing we can do is have you guys hideout for a little bit. We need to go to the BAU though because he is going to know that we are onto him if he doesn’t already.”

“Wait Hotch, this is crazy.”

“Spencer,” Aaron said sternly. “I don’t mean to be blunt, but you’ve already lost one girlfriend to a stalker, do you really want to take any chances?” Spencer shook his head no realizing that Hotch was right, he would do anything to protect (Y/n), he wasn’t going to lose her like he lost Maeve. 

**\----**

**2020 January**

**Washington D.C.**

Louise dropped (Y/n) off at the therapist’s office as she did every Thursday for the past three months. She pulled up outside the building putting the car in the park before looking over at (Y/n). Wordlessly she grabbed (Y/n) ’s hand and gave it a squeeze to let her know that she would be just right outside. (Y/n) returned a small smile before getting out of the car and heading into the small brick building. 

Dr.Adams was waiting inside the office and (Y/n) smiled at her as she walked into the small room. She took a seat on the couch just like she always did neatly folding her legs waiting while Dr.Adams got her file ready for the hour appointment. 

“How have you been (Y/n) ?” Dr.Adams, Abigail as she insisted (Y/n) call her, asked.

“Much better.” (Y/n) responded honestly.

“That’s good to hear,” Abigail said as she flipped through her files as if to remind herself what they had discussed last time. (Y/n) had a hard time believing that she was not her most interesting patient. She was a twenty-nine-year-old woman in love with the man who held her captive while maintaining that her husband was abusing her. “How is living with Lousie going?”

“Pretty good.” (Y/n) replied. “I sometimes feel bad.”

“How come?” 

“I don’t know.” (Y/n) responded, earning a knowing glance from Abigail. (Y/n) then took a deep breath to continue. “I sometimes feel like I’m invading her space. I mean she has a fiance and is planning a wedding. I don’t want her to have to worry about me or have to live around me.”

“Has Louise given any indication that she felt that way?” Abigail asked and (Y/n) shocked her head no. “Louise is your best friend, when I have talked to her she has expressed nothing but love for you. I know that she has your best interest at heart.”

“I know that.” (Y/n) said. “I mean deep down I know that she doesn't care that I’m living with her, it’s just that she’s getting married in March and so I’m feeling some anxiety about where I am going to live come March.”

“Understandable.” Abigail agreed. “Have you talked any more to Spencer?” She asked implying that she had talked to Spencer at all. (Y/n) knew what she was getting at and didn’t like it one bit. She was hoping that come March maybe (Y/n) would be ready to move back in with Spencer, but it wasn’t going to happen. 

“No.” (Y/n) responded. “I don’t want to see him.” She added. 

“(Y/n),” Abigail said. “The goal of these sessions is to get you adjusted back to your normal life, your normal life which included being happily married to Spencer.”

(Y/n) was silent for a moment thinking through everything that had happened. It felt like her brain was just one big pile of mush sometimes. “I’m scared.” She finally whispered tears springing to her eyes. 

“Tell me why.” Abigail prompted. “You don’t have to do this alone, there are tons of people surrounding you who would be more than happy to hold your hand and help you cross this bridge. What you are going through is incredibly difficult and asking for help is not a weakness.”

(Y/n) nodded once understanding that what she was saying was true. “I’m still scared of him.” She said after a moment as Abigail handed her a box of tissues which she gratefully accepted. “I know that he didn’t abuse me. I know that he loves me. But there is some wire in my brain that is crossed and telling me to be afraid of him and I don’t know how to fix it.”

Abigail nodded jotting something down in her notes. “I know that it’s hard when your brain and heart are at war with each other. And it’s going to take some time. The kind of trauma that Peter induced was extended. And what you said about a wire being crossed is exactly what is happening. You know for a fact that Spencer never hurt you but yet you are associating memories of him with the pain that Peter caused you for those weeks back in September.” (Y/n) nodded sobbing slightly at the memory of the warehouse. 

“I know that you claimed you’ve talked to him some but I also know that you’re lying.” (Y/n) tried to open her mouth to lie more and say that it wasn’t true and that she had talked to him but Abigail silenced her. “Meeting face to face is scary, I get it. But do you think that maybe you would be able to call him if you were in the comfort of your own home with Louise right there with you?”

“I don’t know,” (Y/n) said, feeling uneasy. 

“It would be just his voice.” Abigail continued. “I know that your brain is trying to tell you that he’s going to hurt you, I know that’s why you lied and said you had met up with him when you hadn’t. If I had to have a guess I would say you drove all the way to the restaurant but then decided last minute you couldn’t do it.” 

(Y/n) nodded remembering all too well that Friday night when they had agreed to go out for a late lunch. He picked a place ensuring she would be surrounded by people at all times. She had thought that she could do it, but then when she got to the parking lot her anxiety took over and she couldn't do it. The worst part was that she didn't’ even call him to let him know. She knew that he was upset because later that night Louise was talking on the phone with Derek when she thought (Y/n) wasn’t listening and she heard Derek tell Louise how heartbroken Spencer was when she didn't’ show up.

“Do you think you could call him? I believe in you (Y/n), I know that you want to, that your heart is telling you to call him and make it work.” She was right, when she heard Derek say that she broke Spencer’s heart she locked herself in the bathroom and cried for thirty minutes praying the sound of the shower would drown out her sobs.

“I think I can do that.” She said after a moment her voice sounded much stronger than she had expected.

“Excellent,” Abigail said, glancing down at her watch. “It looks like our time is up, I look forward to hearing about your conversation with him next week.” (Y/n) nodded thanking her before leaving and heading back out to Louise’s car. 

“Hey you,” she said as (Y/n) opened up the passenger door. “How did it go?”

“Good.” (Y/n) responded. “I think I’m making progress.”

“That’s awesome. I knew that you would. If there is one word I would use to describe you, it would be resilient.” (Y/n) smiled at the compliment as Lousie glanced down at her phone. “Listen.” She said. “Do you think you would up for lunch with Derek at this cafe just downtown? If not I totally understand and I can let him know and I promise I won’t be upset. I’ve already told him that if we do we aren’t to discuss Spencer at all-”

“That sounds good.” (Y/n) said, cutting off her rambling. “But if it’s okay with you I would actually like to talk about Spencer.” She said slowly. Louise’s head snapped to look at (Y/n) and (Y/n) could’ve sworn that she was going to have whiplash now.

“You want to talk about him?” Louise questioned. “Wow you really are making progress,” she said and both girls laughed together as Louise put the car in drive and headed to the cafe. 

**\----**

**Late August 2017**

**Washington D.C.**

“Alright,” (Y/n) said. “Let’s try this one, 168 divided by 8.” She said as she wrote the long division problem on the board. “Alright so how many times does 8 go into 16?” She asked, turning to face the class. “Anna?”

“2” Anna responded looking pleased with herself.

“Good.” (Y/n) said smiling as she wrote a 2 on the problem. So then we can subtract 16 and we are left with 8, so how many times does 8 go into 8?” She asked as every kid in the room shouted out one. She laughed along with them before writing one next to the two. Alright, so the answer is 21 then. Does anyone have any questions on this problem?”

“Mrs.Reid?” (Y/n) turned her attention to the door where the school secretary was standing holding a giant vase of flowers. “These were dropped off for you.”

(Y/n) stared at them for a second, a slight blush creeping onto her cheeks. “Thank you,” she said walking over to take the flowers before setting them down on her desk. “Go ahead and do the next problem class,” (Y/n) said as she opened the card that came with the flowers. 

“Just a little something to let you know how special you are to me.” (Y/n) read the card smiling to herself at how sweet Spencer could be.

“Mrs.Reid?” Anna asked her hand raised high in the air.

“Yes?” (Y/n) asked.

“Are those from Mr.Reid?”

“They are.” (Y/n) responded. 

“That’s so romantic,” Anna responded, and (Y/n) had to try her hardest to stifle a giggle. “How come he never comes in to see you? I heard from my friend Mia that Mrs.Blanch’s husband came in the other day with their daughter. Are we ever going to get to meet Mr.Reid?”

“Dr.Reid is very busy with his work Anna as you should be too.” (Y/n) pointed out walking over to see that Anna actually already had the whole sheet completed. Not surprising, (Y/n) thought to herself. Anna was definitely the smartest kid in the class. (Y/n) may or may not have had a soft spot for Anna as Anna is almost exactly how she imagined her and Spencer’s daughter to be.

“He’s a doctor?” Anna asked.

“Yes. That’s great that you’re done with these problems, so maybe you should get started on tonight’s homework?” Anna nodded quickly, pulling out her homework to start working on it. She would have it done in ten minutes no doubt.

(Y/n) returned up to her desk pulling out her phone to send a quick text message to Spencer thanking him for the beautiful flowers. She sent him a picture of the bouquet with the message card flipped open. 

After the message was sent, (Y/n) got up to do another walk down the rows to make sure that none of the kids had any questions, they all seemed to be picking it up remarkably well which wasn’t surprising considering that (Y/n) taught that accelerated fourth graders of the private school. 

When she returned to her desk she taped her phone to see that she had three text messages from Spencer. As she read them though her smile quickly faded from her face, panic rising in her throat at the tone of his messages.

“I didn’t send those.”

“Did you see who delivered them?”

“(Y/n) ?”

**\----**

**2020 January**

**Washington D.C.**

It was 10 pm on Tuesday when (Y/n) finally worked up the courage to call Spencer. She wanted to do this, wanted to make Abigail proud, wanted her life back even if she no longer believed it to be possible to get her old life back. But still, calling him was a step in the right direction. Derek had told her that he stayed up pretty late at night reading, just like he used to she thought. He told her that she could call him at four am in the morning and he would still pick up the first ring for her. 

So before she could talk herself out of it, (Y/n) hit the call button next to his name. She held her breath as the phone rang and cursed him that he did pick up on the first ring. She was slightly upset that he did as she needed just a few more seconds to decide what she was going to say to him. “Hi.” she barely whispered into the phone cringing at how weak her voice sounded.

“Hi.” He responded back almost sounding out of breath. She imagined him sitting on their couch with a book in his hands which has now been discarded on the coffee table. On the coffee table, she could picture his mug almost filled to the brim. It was strange to hear the way she could almost smell the house through the phone. It smelt of old books and coffee. She used to be able to smell his cologne lingering in the air and she wondered if he could still sometimes smell her if the draft from the open windows blew just right. “How are you?” he asked her.

“Pretty good.” She responded. “All things considered.”

“That’s great, (Y/n) .” He said back and she could hear the sadness in his voice that she knew she caused. No, she thought to herself, that Peter caused.

“Yeah,” she responded lamely the awkward silence killing her. It never used to be like this she thought bitterly. “How have you been?” She asked after a moment.

“Alright.” He responded but she could hear the subtext, ‘would be better if you were here with me’.

“I um.” (Y/n) stuttered on her words while her brain tried to decide if it’s a good idea to tell him this next piece. “I had lunch with Derek and Louise the other day.”

If he already knew this, which she was sure he did, he didn’t tell her that “How’d that go?” he asked. In her mind, Derek had called him the second they left the cafe and recounted every word that she had said. She could almost hear Spencer’s frustrated sigh when he had hung up the phone annoyed that Derek didn’t have an eidetic memory like him. “(Y/n) ?” Spencer asked softly and she had to pull the phone away from her face for a second so he wouldn’t hear the sob that erupted from her throat.

“Yeah.” She said. “I’m sorry, I’m here.” She took a deep breath opening her mouth to answer before she realized she had no idea what he asked her. “I’m sorry what did you say?”

He laughed slightly into the receiver and she couldn't help but laugh as well, she forgot how infectious his laugh was, the same could be said about his smile. Even now she had a small smile on her face imagining him sitting there smiling too. She wondered if he also had tears silently streaming down his face. “I asked how your lunch with Morgan was.”

“Right, sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize for ba- (Y/n) ”

“It was really nice.” (Y/n) said, almost apologizing again. She was slightly relieved that he cut himself off, she wasn’t sure that she was ready for him to start calling her “baby” again. “He um, said you don’t work at the BAU anymore?” she asks him.

“Yeah.” Spencer breathed out. “I still consult every once in a while and my phone still blows up with texts when they are out on a case, but no I’m not technically with them anymore.”

“He didn’t say what you are doing now?”

“I’m teaching full time. Part-time at the FBI academy and then part-time at Georgetown.”

“Oh wow.” (Y/n) said. “How come you decided to leave? You never really gave any indication of wanting to leave before. At least not seriously.”

“I was prepared to leave before,” Spencer said suddenly. “If um, we had uh had children I would’ve left.” (Y/n) poured her lips at the idea of what could’ve been. By now they probably would’ve had at least two kids running around. “But I left because it just got really hard. Even the cases that ended relativity well did not comfort me anymore because I just kept wondering why I could save them but not you. And so I quit and started teaching full time so that I could focus all of my energy on finding you.”

“Do you regret it?” She asked before she could stop herself. She needed to know. She couldn't stand living with the idea that he quit because of her and now he regrets it.

“I don’t,” he responded immediately. “I haven’t regretted it even for just a second.”

“Thank you.” (Y/n) whispered so lightly that she wasn’t even sure he would be able to hear it. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” 

“How are you so calm?” She asked him. “I mean your wife who was missing for two years finally comes home but she’s so fucking afraid of you that she stands you up at restaurants and then only talks to you on the phone because her therapist assured her that a voice could not hurt her. I’m sitting here sobbing as quietly as I can and I don’t even miss you.”

“You think that I’m not crying right now?” Spencer asked her and then she heard it, the way that his voice slightly quivered as he spoke. The way she could hear sharp intakes of his breath over the line. “(Y/n) I have cried myself to sleep so many nights now that I’ve actually lost count. When you first disappeared I didn’t wash the sheets for two months because I could still smell you on them. Every night since you’ve been gone I have sprayed your pillowcase with your perfume and then fallen asleep burying my face into it because it made you seem closer.”

(Y/n) then choked on her own son not bothering to hide it anymore. She listened as he did the exact same thing. “I’m not calm (Y/n). But I also understand that you are scared of me and the best thing I can do is act as calmly as possible, as normal as possible, hoping and praying that it will jog your memory and your brain will stop telling you to be afraid of me. I spend so much time mentally preparing to let you go, to lose you all over again. One wrong move (Y/n) and now you’re gone for good.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered through tears.

“You haven’t done anything wrong.” He said.

“Doesn't mean I can’t still be sorry.” She said glancing at the clock, they had been on the phone for nearly an hour and a half and this conversation has left her seriously drained. “I think I’m going to go to bed.”

“Okay,” he responded. “It’s getting pretty late.”

“Maybe I can call you some other time this week?” She blurted out not even really realizing what she was doing.

“Yeah,” he said, sounding almost relieved. “I would like that very much.”

“Goodnight Spencer.”

“(Y/n) ?”

“Yeah?” she asked

“I uh. I um”

“I know.” She whispered. “I know.”

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read chapter 4 with the (y/n) character named Piper, I'm sorry!! I forgot to change it before I posted it. That chapter has been updated now :)

**September 2017**

**Washington D.C.**

“How long do you think we are going to be stuck here?” (Y/n) asked stretching out across the bed that was not theirs. Spencer was sitting in the corner of the room on one of the chairs, a computer sitting in his lap. It was strange to her to see him with a computer, this was a man who refused to use an iPhone after all. They had been at the safe house for a week now and while the first couple of days were fine, she was starting to go stir crazy now.

As per the agreement, the two of them were not allowed to leave the house under any circumstance, everything they needed would be brought to them. So (Y/n) spent most of her days lying in bed while grading papers. She heard from the school who told her to not worry at all about her leave of absence. She wasn’t sure what the team had said to them but she wasn’t necessarily complaining. 

“Spencer?” (Y/n) asked, wanting to know an answer. She wanted to go home, sleep in their own bed. This full-size bed was a hard adjustment when you’ve been sleeping in a king for the past year. She imagined it was even harder for him considering that he was so tall he barely even fit on it. 

“I’m not sure.” He said, still looking at the computer. “The team is investigating every little thing to try and find this unsub.”

“You still haven’t even told me what he’s done,” (Y/n) whined. “Stalking is kind of vague Spence.” She responded, “most people don’t have to hide out in a safe house from a stalker.”

“It depends on the severity of the case,” Spencer responded. “We are here because it is safer to be here than at our house.”

“You don’t think he knows we are here?”

“I don’t,” Spencer responded. “There has been no indication that he knows we are here which means that he is going to start getting sloppy and that’s when we are going to be able to catch him.”

“And what if we don’t catch him?” She asks. “When do we get to go home if we can’t find him?”

“Let’s not think about that,” Spencer responded.

“Why are you sitting in here to do your work?” She asked him, it was only seven in the morning and she would very much like to sleep longer but the constant tapping on the keyboard worked her up as it had every day in the past. She couldn’t understand why he chose to work in that stiff uncomfortable looking chair versus the nice dining room table just outside the bedroom door. 

“I uh,” Spencer said blushing. “I just don’t want to sit out there.”

“Not buying it Spence.” 

“It helps my anxiety to watch you sleep.” Spencer spits out “To know that you are safe.”

“Oh,” (Y/n) responded that wasn’t exactly what she had expected although she wasn’t sure why. That seemed very on point for Spencer. “Maybe you can make sure that I’m safe from bed?” she asked and he finally looked up from his laptop screen at the devilish look on her face.

“I guess I could do that,” he responded as he shut the screen before coming over and crawling onto the bed, he tucked himself into the comforter before curling himself around (Y/n) holding her tightly to his chest.

“Oh.” She said laughing as he nuzzled his nose into her hair inhaling the mint shampoo. “That’s not exactly what I had in mind. But this is better,” she said her eyes were already starting to get droopy as she struggled to keep them open. “Promise me you’ll be here when I wake up?” She asked out of nowhere.

“Promise.” He responded by pressing a kiss on the top of her head. “Just go back to sleep baby.” She nodded as she finally gave in and let her eyes close. The last thing she remembered before she closed her eyes was a soft knock at the front door. If Spencer heard it, which she knew that he did, he made no effort to move. Rationally she knew that he would leave her the second she fell asleep but then again he promised that he would be here when she woke up and he wasn’t one for breaking promises.

\----

**September 2018**

**Bar Harbor Maine**

Wendy and Peter were sitting on the couch, her mind still reeling from the event earlier this week. Seeing Spencer again had unearthed all sorts of new memories that she didn’t even know she had been repressing. She had spent the last few days just thinking about every moment of their relationship, every time she felt fear, she felt small, vulnerable. The way that he made her feel like she was nothing. So different from the relationship that she currently had with Peter. 

While the whole conference had been painful for her to watch the part that really stuck with her was the way that he promised to find her. His words had been ringing through her heart ever since. He was never going to let her go. He was going to find her and when he did he would probably end up killing her she thought to herself. Looking back there are so many memories where she was convinced he was going to kill her. Sometimes the rage in his eyes, when he came home from a rough case, put the fear of God into her.

And then there was Spencer after prison. When she remembered the time he spent in prison she was relieved, to say the least. In her memories that was the only time that she felt completely safe in their home. It would’ve been a good time to leave him, she thought to herself. She would have packed up and hit the road but there was still the fear that he would get out, find her and then be even more pissed. So for that time period, she played the part of the good girlfriend, she visited him in prison, told him how much she missed him, called the team for updates, wrote letters, promised him she wasn’t going anywhere. At night she slept in his shirts and cried herself to sleep-wait, that can’t be right she thought. She didn’t cry behind closed doors. Why would she? Yet there was this really painful memory of waking up sobbing and reaching out for him only to realize he was not there. Wendy shocked her head, that was made up in her mind, she had some wires crossed and was remembering something else. That had to be it. 

“Do you remember the first day we met?” Wendy asked Peter all of a sudden as he stopped flipping through channels.

“Of course I do.” He responded by settling on the national news channel. He watched it almost every night just in case there was an update on her case, he said he had to make sure they were not getting too close. “I just remembered laying eyes on you and thinking you were the most beautiful thing in the world. The more you talked the more infatuated I became. I found myself wondering who you loved and then I was jealous that it wasn’t me.”

“I love you now.” She responded.

“I know darling,” he said back. “But I remember you sitting us down at your desk and I just knew there was something wrong. The way you winced as if you were in pain as you sat down was the first clue I had. And then I started taking more of you in and I saw the bruises all over you and I just knew that someone had been hurting you. You told Aimee that you had just gotten engaged to an FBI agent and there I had my answer. You were clearly being abused by someone way more powerful than you, but he wasn’t more powerful than me. I had to save you. I just had to.”

“I’m glad that you did,” Wendy responded as Spencer’s voice filled the room again. She snapped her attention to the tv where the same press conference was being aired again. Peter immediately muted it not wanting either of them to hear his voice. Peter then reached over to Wendy pulling him into his chest to shield her from watching as well. 

Wendy peeked from behind him watching Spencer walk off the stage as another familiar figure walked on. She immediately sat up despite Peter trying to pull her back. “Unmute it,” she said and Peter gave her a warning look. “I said unmute it.” She demanded this time, her voice much more authoritative than she had expected.

“No,” Peter responded just as strong. “I think that you should go to the other room.”

“No,” Wendy said back. “Unmute the fucking television or I swear to God Peter,” Wendy said, glaring at him. “I can handle this.

“Wendy.”

“Peter. Do not fucking test me.” She wasn’t sure where this level of confidence was coming from but it seemed to be working as Peter handed her the tv remote. She immediately unmuted it just in time. 

“My name is Louise Hill,” Louise said confidently into the microphone much more confident than Spencer had sounded. Wendy watched the screen not daring to take her eyes off of it for one minute scared she might miss something. She had left too early from the supermarket to see Louise talk. Louise was the one she had begged Peter to let her send a letter to. She would’ve understood and kept it a secret. She would've done anything for her. 

“Like you heard Dr.Reid say a few minutes ago, we are here as we are still searching for (Y/n) Reid. I was asked to make a statement about (Y/n) and her impact on the community in hopes of humanizing her to whoever has her. (Y/n) is my best friend and I miss her very much. For those of you who don’t know, (Y/n) is a fourth-grade teacher here in D.C. Every kid who she has taught loved her to death. The amount of cards that are piling in from elementary kids is just heartbreaking.” Louise took a second to compose herself. “There is one student specifically who’s mom actually reached out to Spencer as this student was so heartbroken of (Y/n)’s disappearance.”

“Anna,” Wendy muttered before she could stop herself.

“What’s that?” Peter asked.

“Anna. That’s the student she’s talking about.”

Louise continued without a pause. “(Y/n)’s sister in law, Sonya, just had a baby,” Louise said and Wendy nearly gasped out loud. For so long Sam and Sonya had been having trouble conceiving, she was so happy that they were able to have a kid. “A baby that will never know their amazing aunt unless you let her go,” Louise said now speaking directly to the person who held (Y/n) which Wendy had to stifle a laugh about considering that he was sitting right next to her. 

“If you’re listening to this.” Louise continued. “I want you to know that you’re not going to get away with this. Spencer’s team is the best unit of the FBI they will find her. (Y/n) if you are by some chance listening to this, I want you to know that there are tons of people looking for you. We all love you so much and just want you to come home. No matter what kinds of horrors you lived through this past year we will still love you. I promise you that. You can come home unharmed or shattered to pieces and we will be there to help you either way. Just come back alive.  _ Please. _ ” Louise concluded as the tv screen went back to the national news.

“She has no idea,” Peter said.

“No idea what?” 

“How bad it was for you being in that marriage. She thinks that you’re living through horrors now she should’ve opened her eyes when you were right there in the city. She doesn't deserve you.”

Wendy was silent as she listened to the newscaster recount the details of her abduction. “Wendy?” He asked and then she noticed that she was shaking and tears were silently streaming down her face. “What’s wrong baby?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I was just remembering what happened in that warehouse.”

“It’s okay,” he said, taking her back into his arms. “I know that was terrifying. I thought that you were dead when I found you slumped over in that chair. That level of torture was just inhumane, which is why I am never going to let him find us. You will never have to go back to him.” Peter whispered. “What do you say we go to bed?”

Wendy nodded letting him pick her up off the couch and take her to their bedroom. He laid her down on the bed tucking her in before crawling onto his side. He then pulled her over to him so that her head was resting against his chest. 

“Do you think that I will spend the rest of my life living in fear of him?”

“Maybe,” Peter responded honestly. “But like I said before he will never lay another hand on you. As long as I am alive he can not hurt you. I am the only one who can keep you safe.”

“I know,” Wendy said. “I’m just tired of constantly having flashbacks to that night.”

“I get it,” Peter said. “But you can’t just get over that kind of trauma, we just have to learn to live with it. Which is where I come in.”

“Thank you,” Wendy whispered to him. “Thank you for always taking such good care of me.”

“Of course.” He responded.

“Promise me you’ll be here when I wake up?”

“I promise.”

\-----

**March 2020**

**Washington D.C.**

“Promise me you’re okay?” Louise asked standing in front of the mirror admiring herself in the large wedding dress. 

“I’m fine Louise. Better than fine. I’m doing good.” (Y/n) said. “You look so gorgeous. Derek is so lucky.”

“I’m so glad that you made it home in time for this. I was never going to get married without you. But seriously (Y/n) if it gets to be too much with him here you can back out I won’t be mad.”

“It’s okay Lou,” (Y/n) said. “Things are getting better. Talking to him on the phone has done wonders.”

“Okay but seeing him here might be hard. He’s the best man and you're the maid of honor, that means you’re going to have to walk down the aisle arm and arm and you haven’t seen him face to face in so long.” (Y/n) smiled down at the floor and a small blush on her cheeks. “What? What aren’t you telling me?”

“I may have gone to the park with him a few weeks ago because I knew this was coming up. It’s going to be fine Louise I promise. I’m not freaking out externally when I see him anymore. Internally still a little, but when we are surrounded by people my brain calms down, he can’t hurt me surrounded by people. But enough about this, this is your wedding, let’s not talk about me.”

“Okay,” Louise said smoothing out her dress one more time.

“Are you nervous?” (Y/n) asked.

“Incredibly.”

“You have nothing to be worried about. It’s going to be a great night.” (Y/n) said, taking Louise’s hands in hers. 

“I know,” Louise responded. “It’s just that my dad is freaking out because mom brought her new boyfriend even though I told her she did not have a plus one and she could not bring him. He’s such an asshole I don’t even want him here.” Louise said, already starting to get teary-eyed.

“Hey,” (Y/n) said. “Don’t cry okay. Why don’t I go out there and ask him to leave? Would that make things better?”

“Oh my gosh yes,” Louise said, trying to hold back tears so as to not mess up her makeup.

“Alright, I’ll be right back.” She said stepping out of the small room inside the bridal suite. She told the other bridesmaids where she was going to go while asking Grace to keep an eye on Louise to make sure she doesn't start crying. 

(Y/n) headed out into the church to try and find Daphne, Louise’s mother. It wasn’t really all that hard as she was sitting in the front row of the church bickering with Louise’s dad, Charles. “Hey, Daphne?” (Y/n) asked as she approached the two of them.

“Oh my gosh, (Y/n)!” Daphne said standing up and pulling the girl into a bear hug. “It is so great to see you. You had me so worried there for a while.”

“Join the club,” (Y/n) responded. “But I’m actually here to ask about your boyfriend?” Charles scoffed at the word but (Y/n) chose to ignore him. “Louise said that he was not invited.”

“Yeah,” Daphne said. “I asked for a plus one but she said no”

“Okay, then why did you bring him?”

“Because I thought it was a little snotty of Louise to not give me a plus one,” Daphne said and (Y/n) was reminded all of a sudden why she seriously disliked Daphne. She was one of those people who just thought that they were entitled to everything. 

“Well, him being here is really stressing Lousie out,” (Y/n) said, hoping to get Daphne to sympathize with her daughter who was almost in tears back in the bridal suite.

“What?” Daphne asked. “I’m just supposed to ask him to go all the way back to Georgia?” We drove together.”

“There are plenty of other things to do in the city. I can even buy him a metro card so he can go wherever.”

“Well that’s really kind but he’s going to stay.”

“No, he’s not,” (Y/n) said growing angry, not only at Daphne for putting Louise in this situation but partly at Charles who was just standing by idly. 

“If you want to tell him to leave then have at it but he’s got quite a temper, so I wouldn’t suggest poking a sleeping bear.”

“I’m not scared of some five foot five guy from Georgia who drives a massive pickup because he’s got something to prove to the world.” (Y/n) spatted back to Daphne. “Besides do you really want to be going out with a guy who you know has a temper?” (Y/n) asked before walking away in the conversation, not wanting to give her a chance to respond. 

“He’s out smoking!” Daphne called after her.

(Y/n) stormed out of the church without a second thought. It wasn’t hard to find Adam outside. He was one of three people but he was the only one not dressed for a wedding. Instead, he looked like he just came off the farm. He was wearing dirty jeans, a plaid shirt which he had unbuttoned with a dirty white undershirt. As she approached him, she realized that he was out here doing spitting tobacco. This guy was way too young to be dating Daphne, he couldn't have been but ten years older than her and Lousie. 

“Adam?” She asked as she approached him.

“Yeah what’s it to you?” He asked, glaring at her.

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Leave?” He asked spitting out on the ground making (Y/n) gag slightly.

“Yes,” (Y/n) responded. “You can’t be here.”

“I drove all the way here from Georgia and now some Yankee is going to tell me I have to leave?”

“Okay, I’m actually from Georgia too,” (Y/n) said, offended by the term Yankee. That was the first time anyone had ever used that term to describe her. Spencer always said she was his southern belle. Hell, she even still had a little bit of the accent. Not like Adams, but it was still there. “And yes I am telling you to leave because you weren’t technically invited. There are plenty of things to do around the city while you are here.” (Y/n) said. 

“I’m not leaving,” Adam said stubbornly.

“Yes, you are,” (Y/n) responded.

“I came here with the bride's mom, I have every right to be here.”

“Not if the bride did not invite you, which she did not.” 

“If you want me to leave, you’re going to have to drag me out of here,” Adam said before looking down and spitting right on her open-toed high heels. (Y/n)’s mouth fell open immediately as she stared down at her foot. “You should close your mouth, or else I’m going to be tempted to put something else in there,” he said with a smirk.

(Y/n) started to raise her hand before someone grabbed her arm. She started to scream at the person who grabbed her when she turned around and realized it was Spencer. He quickly dropped her arm once he was sure that she was not going to hit Adam. Then he quickly took a stance between her and Adam, a protective arm thrown behind him to stop her from lunging. 

“Is there a problem here?” he asked in a tone that she had never heard him use before. “Because it looks to me like you're sexually harassing a bridesmaid.”

“Sexually harassing.” Adam scoffed. “She just tried to attack me, I was minding my own business when she came out here and said I couldn’t be at this wedding because I wasn’t invited.”

“If you weren’t invited then you have to leave. And I would recommend that you leave before I have you arrested.”

“Arrested for what?” 

“Trespassing on private property. And I’m guessing if you were to be arrested and they were to get a warrant they would probably find all sorts of illegal drugs in your truck.” Spencer said, sniffing the air. “Marijuana for sure, and I think I’m smelling just a little bit of meth.”

“No cop is going to come down here for that.”

“You’re right,” Spencer said, moving his suit jacket to show his badge. “They are already here.” 

Adam turned white as a ghost put his hands in the air. “Alright.” He said slowly backing away. “I’ll leave. Tell Daphne that I’ll be back at the hotel,” he said before turning around and leaving. They watched as he got into his dirty truck and sped off away from the church.

“I could’ve handled that on my own,” (Y/n) said, turning to face Spencer. “You didn’t have to come ‘save the day”

“You were about to assault someone with no probable cause,” Spencer responded. “Had you hit him you might have been looking at an assault and battery charge. That probably would’ve ruined Louise’s night.”

“You heard what he said to me,” (Y/n) said. “Look at my fucking shoe.”

“Yes, I heard and saw it all,” Spencer said. “And I wasn’t going to get involved until you raised your hand. I know that you are more than capable of taking care of yourself (Y/n). I just don’t really want to see you be taken away in the back of a police car. Let’s go inside.” he said changing the subject. “It’s cold out here.”

(Y/n) followed him back into the building staring daggers into his back, he should have let her hit him, he had it coming. Without even realizing what she was doing, she followed Spencer into a single-use bathroom. “Sit.” He commanded patting the counter. 

(Y/n) took a deep breath before climbing on the counter. He was not going to hurt her she told herself over and over again even though a part of her brain was screaming the opposite. “Is this okay?” He asked about the two of them to be alone in a bathroom. (Y/n) nodded once before she had time to start overthinking. Abigail had said it would be good for her to start spending some one on one time with him. She had told her to keep it simple, dates at restaurants not go back to his place. She could handle this she thought to herself as Spencer grabbed a paper towel and started to wipe the tobacco off of her shoe. 

“For the record,” he started. “I wanted to hit him myself.”

“I’m glad that you didn’t,” (Y/n) whispered.

“Me too.” He responded. “Partly because I could’ve been charged with assault and battery then but mostly because I think the last thing you need to see is me hitting someone.”

“Yeah,” (Y/n) said with a bitter laugh. “That would kind of reinstate the whole ‘he was hitting me thing.”

“Right.” Spencer agreed, laughing slightly with her. 

“Thank you,” (Y/n) said after he had all the tobacco off of her shoe. “I should get back to Louise though.”

“Yeah, I should get back to Derek too.”

(Y/n) turned to the bathroom door about to open it when she stopped. “Thank you, Spence.” She said. “I appreciate you helping me with him even if I was a little mad in the heat of the moment.”

Spencer only nodded as she left the bathroom and headed back to Lousie to let her know that Adam would not be an issue for the rest of the night. (Y/n) glanced down at her phone noting that there were only 15 minutes left until the actual ceremony was supposed to start, it was getting down to crunch time. 

\----

“I would’ve let her hit him, to be honest,” Derek said after Spencer recounted the whole thing to him. “Adam is an asshole.”

“I gathered,” Spencer said glancing down the watch it was time for the ceremony to start. “Are you nervous?” Spencer asked as they all made their way outside.

“Nah,” Derek responded. “Just happy.” Spencer smiled patting Derek on the back before he took his place at the altar. 

Slowly all the groomsmen and bridesmaids made their way down the aisle until it was only Spencer and (Y/n) left. “You look beautiful,” Spencer said to (Y/n). 

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” (Y/n) responded blushing down at the ground. They were still standing a respectful distance from each other and Spencer wondered what was going through (Y/n)’s mind right now. 

“You know we don’t have to go arm in arm if you don't want to. No one would even notice.”

“Thank you,” (Y/n) responded. “But they would notice, we would look weird and it’s a short little walk. I’ll be okay. You have to stop walking on eggshells around me if you ever want things to go back to normal.”

“I know it’s just that-”

“This is not the time to be having this conversation,” (Y/n) said cutting him off knowing that any second now they were going to have to walk. And just like that, they were motioned forward. Spencer held out his arm for her and she loved hers into his, sushing voice in her brain. 

The two of them made their way down the aisle and (Y/n) only focused on putting one foot in front of the other. She ignored how natural it felt to have his arm in hers as best as she could. Like she had told him before, right now was not the time for that. 

At the end of the aisle, she took her spot at the altar and watched as Louise floated down the aisle. She looked absolutely breathtaking, she thought. Once Louise made it down to the altar, she handed her bouquet to (Y/n). 

As Rossi started speaking (Y/n) allowed herself to zone out, she didn’t really mean to it was just that a part of her brain was short-circuiting from the close contact she had with Spencer. She was starting to warm up to him again. Talking every night on the phone really has done wonders. On the phone it’s almost like things are back to normal, she lets him ramble about anything and everything and he asks her about her day and genuinely seems to care. It’s almost like they are sitting at home on the couch still.

Even the other day when the two of them went to the park, it was hard at first but the longer they were together the more comfortable she began to feel. It was like when they weren’t together her brain was convinced he was abusing her but then when they got together it became so obvious that this man did not have it in him to hurt her.

He loved her so much that it almost made her sick. 

(Y/n) focused back in when she heard Rossi say “you may now kiss the bride.” She smiled and clapped along as everyone else in the church erupted into applause. She watched the two newlyweds walk down the aisle to go outside and take pictures before heading to the reception.

\---

**September 2017**

**Washington D.C.**

“Wake up baby,” Spencer said shaking (Y/n) awake.

“What’s going on?” she asked groggily. 

“They made an arrest!” Spencer said sitting down on the bed next to her.

“We get to go home?” (Y/n) exclaimed.

“We do,” Spencer said as (Y/n) reached across the mattress to grab him and bring him into a breathtaking kiss. “You’re really excited to go home huh?”

“You have no idea,” (Y/n) responded, jumping up from the bed squealing as she grabbed all of her stuff and started stuffing it into her duffle bag that she had to pack at the last minute. It took about twenty minutes before she was sitting in the driver's seat of her car with Spencer in the passenger seat. “Who was it? How did they catch him?”

“About that.” Spencer said staring out the car window refusing to make eye contact with his wife. 

“Spence,” (Y/n) said. “Just tell me.”

“He was a coworker of yours.”

“What?” (Y/n) yelled. “Who?”

“Scott Tidwell,” Spencer said. 

“No,” (Y/n) said her mouth falling open, she pulled over onto the side of the road putting the car into park. “Scott was so nice to me.” She said. “He wouldn’t have done this.”

“He was infatuated with you (Y/n),” Spencer responded. “He had pictures of you all over his hard drive. He had a key to our house somehow.” Spencer said.

“What?” 

“I didn’t tell you earlier because I didn’t want you to panic, but we found tons of cameras hidden around our house, he had been watching us for a long time.”

“Oh God,” (Y/n) said. “I’m going to be sick.”

“I know,” Spencer said.

“How long did you know about this?” She questioned turning to him the anger evident not only her voice but also her eyes. How could he keep this from her, there were pictures of her on her coworkers laptop because apparently he was sneaking into their house to plant cameras. “Where were the cameras?”

“Pretty much everywhere,” Spencer responded. “And the second that we found all the cameras, we took them all out. I did not know until the day we left.”

“Where are they in the bedroom?” (Y/n) asked swallowing as she thought about everything she and Spencer had done in the bedroom that someone else might have been watching or have photo evidence of.

“No,” Spencer lied. “We think that he probably didn’t want to see you with me.”

“Okay,” (Y/n) said, feeling slightly relieved. “How did they find him?”

“He was using a key to break into our place which they were monitoring. When he got in and realized that Morgan and Prentis were there, he drew a gun.”

“He died didn’t he?” (Y/n) asked and Spencer only nodded. “On our living room floor?” Spencer nodded again and (Y/n) put her head in her hands trying to process all this information. “I think that you should drive.” She said after a moment. Spencer reached out and took (Y/n)’s hand giving it a quick squeeze before the two of them traded places. 

Spencer drove the rest of the way home in almost complete silence as (Y/n) tried to think through everything he had just told her. Scott had always been so nice, it was hard to believe that he would escalate to breaking into her home to plant cameras. 

After about ten minutes, Spencer pulled into the parking spot for their apartment before turning to her. “Ready?”

“Is it going to look like a crime scene?”

“No,” Spencer responded. “It’s going to look the exact same way that we left it,” he said as the two of them got out of the car and headed inside their home. Like Spencer had said it looked the exact same that they left it but there was a very distinct smell of bleach that made it hard to forget what had happened in here. 

Spencer took her hand leading away from the crime scene and back into their bedroom, the sun was starting to set in the sky and there were both ready to just lay down in their own bed and maybe get a good night’s sleep, although for some reason that really didn’t seem possible as (Y/n) imagined all the places in which cameras might have been put.

After changing and doing her nightly routine and unpacking her stuff, (Y/n) laid down in bed followed soon by Spencer who immediately pulled her into his arms. “What if we take a mini-vacation?” He asked.

“We just got home from a mini-vacation,” (Y/n) responded turning over in his arms to face him.

“No, but I mean one where we could actually relax.”

“Didn’t know that you knew how to relax.”

“You’re a bad influence.” He said and they both started laughing. 

“Where would we go?”

“I don’t know, five days in Punta Cana”

“You?” (Y/n) asked, reaching up to trace his jaw. “In the Dominican?”

“I know,” he replied. “But the idea of just sitting on the beach and reading all day kind of sounds relaxing right now.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my husband?” (Y/n) asked.

“Oh hush,” Spencer said reaching up to grab her hand and intertwine their fingers. “We went somewhere cold for the honeymoon and I know how much you like the beach, so I can make it work for five days. I want you to be happy.”

“You book everything and I’ll go,” (Y/n) responded smiling to herself at the idea of spending five days at the beach with Spencer. 

Spencer smiled back as (Y/n) shifted in bed trying to get more comfortable. She gently laid her head on his chest, her red hair sprawling out all over him. He silently ran his hands through it sighing softly to himself.

“What are you thinking?” She asked him after about twenty minutes when all he had been doing was braiding a section of her hair over and over again. “It’s unusual for you to be this silent.”

“Promise me you won’t ever change your hair.”

“What?” She asked laughing “That’s so random Spence.”

“Sorry.” He responded. “I just really love it.”

“I’ve never dyed before, I don’t plan on starting now.”

“Good.” 

**\----**

**March 2020**

**Washington D.C.**

(Y/n) sat at the main table watching as everyone danced on the dance floor. She smiled slightly to herself watching Derek and Louise, they were going to be so happy together, she could just feel it. The way they radiated when they were around each other was unmatched.

Getting up from the table, (Y/n) headed over to the bar ordering a drink before making her way over to JJ and Emily who were waving her down. It was a good thing she stopped for the drink first she thought to herself. “Hey!” Both girls exclaimed as she made their way to them. JJ started to stand to give her a hug but clearly thought better of it. “How have you been?” she asked.

“Okay,” (Y/n) responded, licking her lips feeling slightly awkward. She had not talked much to Spencer’s team since she had been back. At least not besides Derek. “How have you guys been?” 

“Pretty good,” Emily responded. “Please sit down.” (Y/n) hesitated for a moment before deciding it would be rude not to. Abigail had told her that she needed to readjust herself to her old life as much as possible and this felt like another step in the right direction.

“How are Will and the kids?” (Y/n) asked JJ.

“They’re doing great.” She responded. “Henry is in kindergarten, he’s really looking forward to first grade.”

“I’m sure,” (Y/n) responded. “He’s at that age where he just can’t wait to grow up.”

“Right,” JJ responded. “It’s exhausting.”

“Anyone new in your life Emily?” (Y/n) asked.

“Sadly no.” She said. “I’m not really looking though.”

“Ah,” (Y/n) said nodding not really sure what else to say when all of a sudden Penelope came running over to the table grinning at (Y/n). “Oh, God.” She whispered under her breath as JJ and Emily laughed.

“Gorgeous.” She said to (Y/n). “Come to dance with me.”

“Oh, I don’t really-”

“I am not taking no for an answer,” Garcia responded pulling (Y/n) to her feet. (Y/n) decided to just give in and go dance with the girl as that was easier than trying to explain that being on a crowded dance floor kind of filling her with unnecessary anxiety. Still, she followed Garcia out to the dance floor to dance to the song that the DJ was playing.

“I’m so glad that you decided to stick around,” Garcia said and (Y/n) raised an eyebrow wondering why they thought that she wouldn’t. She was the maid of honor after all. “I heard that you almost got into a fistfight with someone outside.”

“You did?” (Y/n) shouted over the music. “From who?” Garcia’s glance over at a table where Spencer was now talking to Rossi and Hotch gave her the answer she needed. “You should’ve heard him telling us about it.”

“Oh gosh,” (Y/n) said groaning. He was probably going to tell Abigail that she was resorting to violence now to solve her problems.

“It’s not bad,” Garcia said. “Oh my gosh, he was so proud of you.”

“What?” (Y/n) asked, stunned. “Proud? I nearly punched a guy.”

“I believe his exact words were ‘my badass wife,” Garcia said and (Y/n) couldn’t help but laugh. In all the years she spent with him, she could probably count on one hand the number of times the man has sworn. 

“I can’t believe he said that,” (Y/n) said. “He seemed pretty pissed at me, to be honest.”

“No,” Garcia said. “He wasn’t mad at you, I think that he was mad he didn’t let you hit him or at the very least that he didn't hit him. But he can’t blame himself for that, but he was  _ not  _ mad at you.” (Y/n) nodded, she felt this strange feeling in her chest at the idea that he thought that she was a badass even after all this time.

Her and Garcia danced around for a little bit longer before the song changed into a slower song and they exited the dance floor, (Y/n) went back up to where the wedding party was sitting at a large table in the front of the room. She watched as all the happy couple swayed back and forth to the slow song that the DJ had chosen to play. As she watched the dancefloor, she allowed her eyes to scan the rest of the room, finding landing on Spencer who was standing over in the corner of the room.

Taking a deep breath, (Y/n) decided to be bold as she walked over to him.  _ Badass _ she reminded herself as she approached him. A part of her started screaming the closer she got to him that this was a terrible idea but her feet continued to move anyways. When she got close enough to him that he noticed her, she watched his eyes light up in surprise and adoration. “Do you want to dance?” She whispered looking down at the floor. After a moment she looked up at him and he nodded once. She reached for his hand before she could stop herself walking the two of them over to the dancefloor. 

They picked a spot over to the side where they were out of the way and where the majority of the wedding guests could not see them. Slowly (Y/n) raised her hands to be around his neck while he hesitantly found their way to her waistline. “You look so pretty,” he whispered as the two of them swayed to Perfect by Ed Sheeran. 

(Y/n) didn’t say anything. The voice in her head that was telling her to run was a lot quieter than it usually was. His hands that were on the small of her back were practically burning a hole into her dress and she was convinced that by the time this song was over she was going to have to go to the bathroom and wipe away buckets of sweat. 

“You’re okay,” Spencer whispered realizing the inner monologue that was going through her head right now. “You’re perfectly safe.” 

She nodded once taking a deep breath. “I heard that I am apparently a badass.” She told him she wanted to take the conversation off of the past and focus on how they might be able to make this work for the future.

“You are.” He responded. “Your strength and resilience amaze me.” (Y/n) snorted at that not believing him at all. “I’m serious (Y/n),” Spencer said his voice low in her ear. “After I got kidnapped for 72 hours I ended up addicted to drugs. You’re gone for two years and yet you’re still standing here, conversing with people who you feel you no longer know and dancing with the man who you believe was abusing you, trying desperately to get your old life back. I don’t know how you do it. I really don’t. So yes I think you’re badass, you are the strongest woman I know and I used to work with a bunch of really strong women.” They both laughed at that as the song changed to another slow song.

“That means a lot to me,” (Y/n) responded honestly. Spencer nodded moving a hand from the small of her back to tuck some loose strands of hair behind her ears. “You hate it don’t you?” she asked him tears starting to spring to her eyes for some reason which she did not understand. She blinked them away as quickly as she could hoping that he did not notice it.

“No.” He responded shaking his head.

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not lying (Y/n).” He responded. “I don’t hate it, it’s hair.”

“You made me promise to never change it.”

“I don’t care about that anymore. You can die it bright blue for all I care, as long as you are still within arms reach.”

“I heard you crying about it in the hospital.” she said bittelry.

“You thought I was crying about your hair color?” Spencer asked before bursting out laughing. “I was crying because for two years I had no idea if you were alive or not. The hair color was just a shock to me because you looked nothing like the girl I lost. That’s why I asked.”

“I wish it would go back to normal,” (Y/n) said. “Every time I look in the mirror I cringe, I still don’t even really recognize myself sometimes. I asked a hairstylist about dying it but she said it’s so black that it would be a multi-step process and that I would do significant damage to it. So now I just have to wait until it grows out.” (Y/n) said bringing one hand to touch the roots where they were starting to grow back as red. She wrinkled her nose imagining just how bad it was going to get. 

The two of them fell into silence as they just swayed to the music with each other enjoying this rare moment, Moments like these did not seem to last long for either of them at the moment and it was nice to just be able to hold one another and pretend like things were okay even though they both knew that they still had a really steep hill to climb if they wanted their lives to go back to semi-normal.

“I was thinking that uh maybe I’m ready for a one on one date,” (Y/n) said looking up at him watching a smile spread across his face.

“Really?” He asked, sounding like a kid who you just told to go crazy at toys are us. 

“Yeah.” She responded. “Like a crowded restaurant obviously, and I might ask Louise to come and sit at a booth in the back of the restaurant, but yes I want to go on a formal date. And I promise I won’t stand you up this time.”

“Thank you so much, (Y/n).” He said leaning down to pull her into a hug. She resisted at first but then found herself wrapping her arms around him, her chin resting on his shoulder as she just let her self relax in his warm embrace. It was going to be okay she thought to herself. They were going to be okay.

\----

**September 2018**

**Washington D.C. and Bar Harbor, Maine**

Spencer picked his whole body up off the bed before throwing himself down on the underside for what felt like the hundredth time that night. Sleep was hard to come by these days even harder than when he worked at the BAU. All night he found himself reaching out for her only to remember that he hasn’t been able to hold her for a year now. They were coming up on the one year anniversary, a thought that made his heart shatter.  _ One year.  _ How is that possible? Every morning he woke up and for a split second, he was happy before the events of the past year came back to him and the realization that his wife might never come back to him.

He reached across the bed grabbing her pillow and shoving his face into it inhaling the scent of her perfume. At this point, it was artificial as he just made sure to spray her pillow every night. In his mind that was a sign that he needed to figure out how to sleep without smelling her as there was a good chance, this would be the rest of his life. He tried sleeping that night without the smell on the pillow, but that night he was never able to fall asleep. So the next day, running on about 2 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours, he drove to the mall and bought another bottle. When he got home he sprayed the pillow, buried his face into, and slept 13 hours. Even after all of that he still woke up feeling more tired than before.

As he closed his eyes, he tried to imagine that she was here, that she was laying right next to him and that he had his head resting on his chest. He would give anything to just have her for five minutes. To hold her tightly to him and at least get some kind of closure. That was what scared him the most, the idea that they could find her body and that he would never get a chance to say goodbye to tell her that he loved her one more time.

The idea of burying another loved one made him sob into her pillow. First Maeve and now (Y/n). He couldn't really stomach the idea of having to bury (Y/n) like he did Maeve. To be honest, he always thought that he would be the one to leave (Y/n), not the other way around. And while he never wanted to leave her, he took the tiniest bit of comfort in the fact that he would never have to live without her. Yet here he was, crying into his missing wife’s pillow begging a God he wasn’t even sure he believed in for his wife to come home. 

**\----**

Wendy sat up in a lonely bed grasping at her chest trying to steady herself and calm down. She looked over in the bed and across the room noting that Peter was nowhere to be found. She felt her heart sink down to the bottom of her stomach when she remembered that he promised he would be there when she woke up. 

As her breathing slowly evened out, she laid back down in the bed pushing the comforter and blankets off of her sweaty body. She could still see the girl's long legs walking away from her as she bled out on her living room floor, her only thought being her daughter. She remembered running her hands over her stomach praying that maybe her little girl would survive this. She was eight months pregnant, if the paramedics got here soon maybe they could save the little girl, it was too late for her but maybe not for the daughter.

Wendy took a deep breath reminding herself that it was just a dream, she was never eight months pregnant and while he did hire someone to kill her, the BAU got the girl before he could. Wendy furrowed her eyebrows though at that thought, something about that didn’t seem right. Maybe that wasn’t the way it went down. She remembered the girl vividly. Cat Adams. Wendy had very vivid memories of someone telling her that Spencer had hired to kill his pregnant wife but she didn’t remember why. Then she remembered listening to Spencer confess that Cat was pregnant with his baby although she couldn’t remember exactly what happened to that baby. Did Spencer cheat on her with Cat? She couldn't remember whether she ever found any official proof that he had. 

Wendy sighed, throwing herself back down in bed groaning to herself as her mind raced a thousand miles an hour. Some nights it was really hard for her to recall certain events. She looked back at everything like she was terrified but then there would be these tiny little pockets where she couldn't quite pinpoint what really happened. 

Maybe Spencer had a schizophrenia break and that’s why she had two very distinct memories of the same man yet a very different version. Yeah, she thought to herself, that makes sense. If he was an undiagnosed schizophrenic then maybe that was when he was abusing her. 

She shocked her head realizing that couldn’t be the case. Most people with schizophrenia are not violent. Take Diana for example, she was never violent. Ever. But maybe William was. If William was violent and Spencer saw that as a kid that could’ve led him to be violent. 

Sighing while realizing that she was not going to get much sleep tonight, she got out of bed tying her robe tightly around herself before putting on house shoes. Outside the bedroom, she found Peter fast asleep on the couch. He must have had another nightmare and did not want to wake her up, she thought bitterly. He fucking promised. 

Tiptoeing around the couch not wanting to wake him up she snuck out the back door of the house and down the narrow pathway that led out to the sea.

\----

Spencer was sitting outside on the apartment’s balcony when he heard the soft knock on the door. He got up out of his chair to head over to the door. He quickly unlocked all six locks he had installed on the door the day after (Y/n) disappeared. If only he had done it the day before. “Thank you for coming,” Spencer said to Derek as he opened the door to let him. Derek immediately shivered under the cool air already from the ac but combining that with the open balcony door caused the apartment to feel like an actual icebox.

“Of course. You called me at three in the morning begging me to come. Of course, I was going to come.”

“I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“Don’t be. I had to talk Lousie out of not coming through.”

“She would’ve been more than welcome,” Spencer said as the two of them headed outside to sit down in the patio chairs.

The two sat in silence for a while before Spencer finally spoke. “I just keep running through the statistics in my head.”

“Don’t do that,” Derek said calmly. “That will only drive you mad.”

“I don’t know how to not do it,” Spencer said weakly. “Statistics are really all that I know and the chances of her coming back home are slim.”

“Slim.” Derek said, “But not none.” 

“Still”

“Think about all the statistics that you have beaten Reid,” Derek said. “When you were held captive in Georgia and died on that barn floor, statistics you should not have made it out of there alive.” Spencer nodded knowing that he was right. “What about when you got shot in the knee? They said you’d never walk again, look at you now? Anthrax? Or when you got shot in the neck? What about prison?” Derek said and Spencer shuttered, too much trauma to relive in one night. “You survived all of those things even when statistics said you wouldn't. You just have to trust that she will come home.”

“And if she doesn’t?”

“She will. Everyone comes home eventually.” 

The silence that engulfed them was almost deafening. Spencer found himself staring at the moon with tears springing to his eyes. Derek glanced over at him as Spencer let a sob wrack through him. “I know it’s cliche but I used to always tell her that when I was away on a case and she felt so far from me that she could come out here and look at the moon and it would be the same moon that I was seeing wherever I was.” He let out another cry as he stared up at the sky. “Do you think that she can see the moon? Wherever she is?”

“I do,” Derek responded. “I honestly do.”

\----

Wendy sat out by the sea wrapping her robe tighter around herself as she shivered. The tide was high tonight and she smiled to herself at the sound of it crashing against the rocks. It seemed so loud out here tonight, while she knew that the sea was always loud at night it seemed especially loud tonight, which was good, she needed it to drown out her thoughts. 

She stared out at the dark waves and couldn’t help but to laugh at the idea that those are the same waters that washed up against the shores just outside of Savannah. Home. How long ago it was that she sat on the Georgia shore listening to the exact same sound at age fifteen while she and Louise were fighting about some boy. How far she has come. She doesn’t even recognize that girl anymore. 

That girl was convinced that she would never leave Georgia. She was a good southern girl, went to church every Sunday, didn’t wear white after labor day, monogrammed just about everything she could in junior high, drank sweet tea like it was water, and had the cracker barrel menu memorized. She was a good southern girl who abandoned her southern roots and traded it all for D.C.

To be fair, her brother had been living in D.C. for a few years and she was completely jealous of him when she was in college. So when she packed up and moved to D.C. she swore she’d be back. That she would come back home and find a good southern man and raise her family down there, but fate had other plans.

Marrying an FBI agent was never part of the plan. She never wanted to marry him, to be honest, never wanted to love him, but he made that impossible. Still, she remembered being racked with fear early on in the relationship when he was constantly traveling. She remembered sitting by the phone just waiting for the call that would tell her that he wasn’t coming home. She never planned on marrying him, but she loved him all the same. 

It was kind of funny sitting down here on the shore. The moon was shining brightly above her and she remembers him telling her that she could look at the moon anytime she misses him and he would be looking at the same moon. It was a stupid expression but she used to find comfort in it. But now as she stood here sitting at the moon she hoped to God he wasn’t looking at it too. 

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**September 2017**

**Delaware**

Her eyes were covered when she heard the door open. Shuddering in the chair that she was bound to (Y/n) cried out her body already tensing not sure what was going to come next but knowing that it was going to be bad. 

“Please.” She whispered. “No more.” She felt the gloved hand come in contact with her skin wiping away the tears before he removed her mask from her eyes. She wasn’t sure exactly how long it’s been since she was taken from their home. It was hard to keep track when she was tied to a chair in the middle of a warehouse with no windows. There was no way to tell time, it could be 12 pm it could be 2 am, she has no idea. If she had to guess how long she’s been here she would say between 72 hours and 4 weeks. She really did have no idea.

(Y/n) watched as the man who was holding her captive grabbed a needle from a tray. She shook her head no but it was no use, he injected the drug into her blood. She rolled her head back in the chair giving up what little fight she had left in her. The man then wheeled over the tv plugging in his laptop.

“Why are you doing this?” She asked her voice hoarse from screaming. 

The man didn’t say anything, only attaching wires to her head. She started shaking and crying harder. “He gave me to you.” The man said finally. “He’s the reason you are here, he is the reason you're suffering. He chose to save himself and give you to me.”

“But what do you want from me?” (Y/n) screamed at him causing him to slap her hard across the face. 

After attaching all the wires, the man went over and played a video on his computer, she watched one of the many press briefings that Spencer has given during his time at the job. (Y/n) started shaking before the electric currents even started just seeing his face. When the electric currents started, (Y/n) closed her eyes causing the man to come over and make sure she was watching.

“He did this to you.” The man repeated. “He’s the one who is hurting you. He hurt you for so long. Don’t you remember?” (Y/n) nodded weakly. “Good girl.” He said turning down the current to be less painful. She continued to watch as Spencer spoke trying her best to ignore the pain. They went on like that for God only knows how long. Him turning up the current, forcing her to watch Spencer before turning it back down when she said that he was hurting her, that this was his fault. 

Eventually, the man stopped leaning down in front of her. “You did so well today,” he said, reaching up to stroke her cheek. He slowly took all the wires off of her before leaving and coming back with food. “He’s not even looking for you.” The man said. “That’s how little he cared about you. How disposable you are.”

(Y/n) nodded once, her heart was fighting but her brain was starting to believe what this man was telling her. When she thought about Spencer she thought about the pain, the smell of this dungy warehouse, and the sound of electricity from the car battery crackling. “You know he actually told me how to hurt you the most.” The man said and (Y/n) shocked her head not wanting to believe what he was saying but also knowing that there had to be some truth to it. “Told me that you don’t even change lightbulbs at home because you are so afraid of getting shocked. He  _ told me  _ that the best way to hurt you would be to shock you.” (Y/n) cried, dropping her head down, the drugs were making her feel lightheaded and all she wanted to do was lay down on this dirty floor and sleep. “You can’t even shock yourself by changing a lightbulb, it's almost impossible. And I bet he explained that to you like twenty different times.”

She nodded and all of a sudden she was back at home. For a second she felt safe again but then he was storming out of the bathroom yelling at her. The bulb had died at some point and she had not bothered changing it knowing that he would be home tonight. She had been using the restroom in the dark for three days as she refused to change it. 

“(Y/n)!” Spencer yelled. “Why is the bathroom light out?”

“I was too afraid to change it.” She responded. 

“How many times do I have to fucking tell you that you can not shock yourself changing it?” He yelled at her storming over to where she was on the couch grabbing her arm to roughly yanking her up.

“Spencer!” She shrieked. 

“Don’t Spencer me,” he responded, dragging her to the kitchen where he grabbed a new bulb, shoving it roughly into her hands. “Change it!” He ordered it when they made it to the bathroom. (Y/n) shocked her head, which only made him madder. He grabbed her hand forcing her to change it, her crying the entire time.

“I have not been gone for seven days only to come home and find a dead bathroom light bulb because my mouse of a wife can't change it.”

“I’m sorry.” (Y/n) said hearing someone call her name in the background. “I’m sorry.” She repeated over and over again tears streaming down her face.

“Come back to me (Y/n).” she heard the man say snapping her out of her memory, she was back in the warehouse and while she didn’t feel safe here by any means she was also relieved to be pulled back to reality from the horrid memory. “I think that you’ve had enough for today.” He said.

“Thank you.” She whispered the man nodded once before checking to make sure she was still tied up tightly. 

“Get some rest,” he said softly and (Y/n) only nodded feeling her eyelids already starting to close. When they closed she prayed that she would make it out of this somehow, in some way that did not involve her going home to the other monster. She prayed that she would have a dreamless sleep and not be haunted by Spencer. 

When she awoke again, it was to the warehouse door slamming shut. Immediately she started crying, not ready to again be subjected to the electric current. She looked over to whom she expected to be the man dressed in all black with a motorcycle helmet on but instead she was shocked when she saw Peter running to her. 

“Hey” He whispered as he quickly untied the ropes that bound her. “Hey it’s okay.” As (Y/n) sobbed. Once he got her hands untied she quickly threw them around his neck looking for any kind of human contact. “You’re okay,” he said again as he untied her legs. She tried to stand up but immediately fell over, had it not been for Peter she would’ve hit the ground but he quickly scooped her up. 

(Y/n) kept her hands around his neck burying her face into his chest sobbing her heart out. “Please don’t make me go back.” She said and he ran a hand through her hair whispering sweet nothings into her ear. 

Outside he shielded her eyes from the sun as he gently laid her down in the backseat. She was grateful to not have to be sitting upright anymore, her hands and feet were still tingling from being bound for so long. Peter closed the door gently before going around and getting in the driver's seat. “Please.” (Y/n) whispered. “I can’t go back to him.”

“I would never take you back to him,” Peter responded. 

“Where are we going to go?” she asked. “He’ll find me.” she cried staring up out the sunroof of the car. It appeared to be around 3 pm. She wondered how long she’s been gone, how long she had been stuck there.

“We’re going to go up to Maine. I have a cabin up there, off the grid, he won’t find us. I promise.” (Y/n) nodded. “But you have to change your hair and name, you can’t be (Y/n) Reid anymore. They are looking everywhere for (Y/n).” He said as he put the car in drive and drove away from the hell on Earth that (Y/n) had been living through. “Just a little outside of this place I’m going to find a gas station with the bathroom on the outside and we’re going to have to dye your black. And your new name will be Wendy Arnett. Do you think you can do all that?”

“Anything.” (Y/n) responded. “Anything to not have to go back to him.”

\------

**September 2017**

**Punta Cana, Dominican Republic**

“This is kind of amazing.” (Y/n) said following Spencer in line at the buffet. “I mean this food looks so good I could die,” she said before telling the cook how she wanted her pasta bowl to be made. “They are so many options. I’m definitely going to have to come back for seconds.” (Y/n) paused to look down at what Spencer had on his plate wrinkling her nose in disgust. “I will not be having  _ that.”  _ She said as the two of them made their way through the maze of tables to find a table close to the edge where they could see, hear, and smell the ocean. “I mean what the fuck is that?” (Y/n) asked once they were out of earshot of any locals that she could offend. 

“It's chivo guisado.”

“Stewed goat?” (Y/n) asked and Spencer looked at her questioning. “What? I know a little bit of Spanish.” Spencer quirked an eyebrow. “I  _ might have  _ taken 10 years of it in school, and yeah I went on the class field trip to Spain.”

“How did I not know this about you?” 

“I don’t know.” (Y/n) responded. “It’s never really seemed to come up. I bet I know more of it than you do.” (Y/n) said playfully teasing him. 

“Dudo mucho que lo hagas. Hablo con fluidez seis idiomas diferentes. Practicamente inventé ser bilingue” Spencer spit out a mile of minute and (Y/n) was pleased with herself as she caught every word. 

“Du bist nicht der einzige, der mehrere Sprachen beherrscht, Baby.” (Y/n) responded in German, another language she had picked up in school.

“Toccare,” Spencer said.

“Italian.” (Y/n) commented. “Rossi would be very proud of you except for the fact that you are eating stewed goat.”

“I don’t know, he’s a chef. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a goat.”

“Have you ever had a goat?” she asked. “Like do you know what to expect?”

“Yeah,” Spencer responded. “I mean you can’t really get it back in D.C. but if you go to a nicer steakhouse and order lamb, it’s kind of like that.”

“I don’t know.” (Y/n) said as she took a bite of her buttered noodles very American, “the idea of eating goat just kind of grosses me out.” she watched as he took a bite and while he had just told her he had it before, she was still surprised to not see him grimace at the flavor. 

“You should try it.” 

“No.” (Y/n) responded as Spencer picked up a piece with his fork. 

“Come on,” Spencer said, holding his fork out to her. “Most of the flavor is from the onions and the oranges, there’s a slight taste of garlic but it’s good. It’s not like deer where the meat itself tastes gamey.”

(Y/n) grimaced at him while he tried to stifle a laugh as she took the fork from him. They were not about to be one of those couples feeding each other. “I hate you,” she said as she opened her mouth taking the smallest bite possible. 

“Oh come on.” Spencer said. “That’s such a small bite on the fork, you can eat it all.”

She took a deep breath before biting off everything on the fork, she watched as Spencer watched her curiously waiting for her answer. “Well,” she said slowly. “It’s not something I would order myself, but it’s not nearly as bad I was expecting either.”

“See?” Spencer asked. “You should try new things more often.” (Y/n) only shook her head both of them knowing full well that she would not be doing that. The two of them then slid into a comfortable conversation about anything and everything while they finished lunch. After finishing eating they cleaned up their table before heading back to the room to change into swimsuits and grab towels. 

Back in the room, (Y/n) made a quick change in the bathroom readying herself to spend the rest of the afternoon sitting in a beach chair on the beach. When she came out of the bathroom dressed in a small white bikini she couldn't help the exhilarating feeling that came with watching Spencer’s mouth fall open. 

“What do you say we hang out here just a little bit longer before going down to the beach?” Spencer asked her as he walked over towards her pulling her into him, his hands finding their way to her waist. (Y/n) lightly slapped his chest shaking her head. 

“We have all night to do that.” She said. “Plus it’s going to start raining in about two hours. Maybe during the twenty-minute rainstorm we can do that.”

“(Y/n)!” Spencer whined, pressing a kiss to her jaw and then down her neck. “How am I supposed to sit on the beach for two hours with you like this?”

“I don’t know.” She responded pulling away from his grasp grabbing her towel off the bed heading for the door. “Maybe you can just imagine all the things you want to do to me in the next three days, and then later tonight you can show me what you thought about.”

Spencer groaned sleeping on his flip flops, which he had to buy at Walmart right before they left, “remember at lunch when you said you hate me? Well, I hate you too.”

“You’ll get over,” she responded as they exited the room. He made sure the doors were locked before the two of them headed down to the beach hand in hand. 

\---

**October 2019**

**Bar Harbor, Maine**

Peter was two hours late, it was becoming a frequent thing to happen and it was really starting to piss Wendy off. Was it too much to ask for him to show up to dinner on time? Half the time he would stumble home drunk as a skunk and then fall asleep on the couch even though Wendy begged him to come to bed with her. 

When Peter finally did come home tonight, she was surprised to find him completely sober. “How was your day?” He asked, walking into the kitchen and trying to kiss her but she pulled away. “What?”

“Why are you so late?”

“Oh my gosh,” Peter said, throwing his hands in the hair before going to the fridge to grab a beet. “This again?”

“Yes this again,” Wendy shouted at him. “You are never home anymore and I’m really lonely.”

Peter used a bottle opener to open his beer before taking a long swig. “I was meeting up with some friends.”

“Who?” Wendy questioned. “What friends?”

“It doesn't matter who Wendy. They are just friends.”

“Are you having an affair?” Wendy shouted at him, she had been wondering for a while now if there was someone else, recently he’s just become so distant with her and the affair would make sense. He used to be absolutely enamored with her but now it’s almost like she doesn't even exist.

“You’re being fucking crazy,” Peter said. 

“Crazy,” Wendy said laughing bitterly. “You think I’m being crazy? You have no idea how fucking crazy I can get.” Wendy said, spitting the words out as she got up in his face.

“You better watch your tone with me,” Peter warned which only made Wendy madder.

“No,” Wendy said. “You better watch your tone with  _ me.” _ She finished. “You drug me away from my life, my friends, my family, everything. I will not stand you cheating on me and throwing me away now. 

“I  _ drug you away _ ?” Peter questioned growing angrier and angrier. “I saved you from an abusive piece of shit.”

“I could’ve saved myself,” Wendy responded, causing Peter to raise as if to hit her before stopping himself mid-air, she flinched instantly covering her head with her hands. Peter immediately backed away with his hands raised in the air to surrender.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice so much calmer than it had been before. “I’m so sorry baby,” He said as she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. That caused him to rush over to her bringing her into his embrace and holding her tightly. “I’m not sleeping with anyone else. I swear on my life. Please don’t ever leave me, Wendy. I can’t lose you again.”

Wendy sobbed into his chest while he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, it was late enough that she had already been wearing her pajamas. She had just been up waiting on the couch for him to come. He gently laid her down on the bed and she curled up next to him, her sobs slowly evening out. 

After about thirty minutes of laying there thinking everything over, Wendy realized that she was going to have to ask him the question she had been dreading asking for a long time. But the answer was crucial as to whether or not the two of them could continue in this relationship. She needed to know that Peter was a good man.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“How did you find me at that warehouse when even the FBI couldn’t?”

“I had been watching you for a while,” Peter responded. 

“Watching me,” Wendy said slowly. “Like stalking me?” She asked her heart to go to the top of her throat.

“Stalking is the wrong word,” Peter responded. “I was making sure you were safe.”

“You were the stalker?” Wendy asked, turning over to sit up in bed to face him. “You were the one sending Spencer those letters and pictures?” Peter nodded once and Wendy shocked her head. “But then what about Scott Tidwell?”

“What about him?” 

“Why did he have a key to my house and why did he have pictures of me all over his drive?”

“He had a key because I gave him a key, the pictures were the pictures that I uploaded.”

“Why?” Wendy asked, her voice shaking. 

“They took you that safe house because they thought that  _ I  _ was the monster. He took you to the safe house where I couldn’t find you. I knew I had to make him feel that he was safe, like that the one person who  _ knew  _ that he was hurting you was dead. I mean I can only imagine what he did to you in that house when you had nowhere to go.”

“You killed an innocent man.” (Y/n) said scooting off the bed trying to put some distance between her and Peter. 

“I didn’t pull the trigger,” Peter responded. “I believe the brunette did.”

“How could you?” (Y/n) asked the illusion that the two of them had been living in rapidly fading from her mind.

“I needed to know that you were safe, don’t you get that? I needed to save you.”

“But the warehouse.” (Y/n) whispered. “I knew Scott wasn’t the stalker because it was the stalker who held me in the warehouse,” she said faintly her heart beating a thousand miles an hour. “But you’re telling me now that you were the stalker. Was it you in a warehouse Peter? Is that how you found me? It had been you all along?”

“What?” Peter asked with shock in his eyes that she could even think that. “I would  _ never  _ hurt you like that. I could never ever hurt you.”

“Then who did Peter?” (Y/n) yelled at him. “Someone did!”

“Baby,” Peter whispered moving over to her, she wanted to back away from him but something in her brain told her not to. She let him pull her into a tight hug. “Spencer did,” he said softly and (Y/n) shocked her head no before he continued. “You know that he did. I knew where you were because I was watching you. I had to wait though until I knew that I would have enough time. Knowing you were in pain and I couldn’t do anything was the worst feeling in the world.” 

“But he did this to you, Wendy. Think about it. How could I find you and not the FBI? He was leading them off in the wrong direction and has been doing that the whole time. He knows now if you come home that you’ll expose him. He can’t have that. If you go home he’ll kill you. I have no doubt in my mind that he’ll kill you if he ever finds you. Even the way that he hurt you, he knew how to hurt you the most, he wanted to inflict the most amount of pain.”

“I hate him,” Wendy whispered to Peter.

“I know.” He whispered. “I am so sorry that I couldn’t save you sooner. I never thought that he would escalate to the level of violence that he did, but I should’ve known and I will beat myself up for that every day until I die.”

“And I am sorry that Scott had to die, he didn’t deserve that.” Wendy nodded. “But that wouldn’t have happened if Spencer hadn’t moved you away from me.”

“It’s his fault Peter,” Wendy whispered. 

“Thank you for saying that,” Peter whispered back

“Can you promise me things can go back to the way they were before you started staying out so late and coming home drunk?.”

“Yes,” Peter responded with no hesitation. “Anything to not lose you.” 

\----

**September 2019**

**Washington D.C.**

It was 11 pm before the jet finally landed back in D.C. The team shuffled off the small aircraft to head inside to grab their things. Hotch had told them that they could worry about paperwork in the morning, that they all deserved to be able to go home and sleep this case off. 

Spencer followed everyone inside and watched as they grabbed their things before saying goodbye and heading home. He didn’t want to go home. Two years have passed since he lost her and the apartment still doesn't feel like home without her. 

Heading up the stairs to Hotch’s office, Spencer felt so many emotions run through him, guilt for leaving his family, relief for not having to be in the field anymore to name a few. He was positive this was the right decision for him. It was kind of funny to him that  _ this  _ is what gets him to leave. After all the shit he’s been put through because of this job, it’s the missing wife that causes him to quit. Losing her has by far been the hardest thing he’s ever dealt with. 

“You have a second?” Spencer asked, knocking on Hotch’s door. He was packing up for the night so that he could get home to Jack. Aaron nodded as Spencer came into the office. “I’ve already let the brass know, so please don’t try to change my mind.” he started taking a deep breath. “But this was my last case with the BAU.”

Hotch stopped what he was doing to look up at Spencer trying to gauge if he was serious or if this was some kind of a practical joke but seeing the look in his eyes Aaron knew that he was dead serious. “I understand.”

“You do?” Spencer asked. 

Hotch nodded once. “When I lost Hailey I thought about quitting too. How did I not know that Foyett would do that? I blamed myself if I had been quicker on my feet if I had thought about this angle if I had done this if I had done that. It was exhausting.” 

Spencer nodded knowing the feeling all too well. “What made you decide to stay?”

“Knowing that I could save someone else’s Hailey.”

“I’m not strong enough for that,” Spencer said weakly, his voice catching in his throat. 

“You don’t have to be,” Hotch responded. “You’ve been strong for so long Spencer that you deserve to be weak for once.” Spencer looked down at his shoes as tears silently fell down his cheeks. “I got closure with Hailey. Not the kind I wanted but closure nonetheless. I know exactly where she is. She’s not coming back. I learned to deal with that. You don’t know where (Y/n) is. There is still a chance that she could come back to you which makes it impossible to let go.”

“I don’t know which is worse,” Spencer said with a bitter laugh.

“I don’t think anyone does.”

“Thank you for understanding,” Spencer said looking back up at the man in front of him. “It means a lot to me. I'll be in on Monday to get my things and let everyone know.”

“Okay,” Aaron responded. “We’re going to miss you.” He said and Spencer nodded. “And you’re more than welcome to come back at any time.”

“Thank you,” Spencer said even though they both knew that he would not be back. Even if (Y/n) were to come home, he couldn't see himself coming back not after everything that’s happened. 

“Will you be teaching full time?”

“Yeah,” Spencer said. “They actually offered me a spot at the FBI academy to teach profiling.”

“They’re lucky to have you.”

“Thanks.” Spencer said “I’ll let you get home to Jack.” he said realizing how late it was getting. Aaron nodded watching the boy walk out of his office, his shoulder slumped in defeat. It wasn’t fair how hard life had been to that kid he thought to himself. 

\----

**September 2017**

**Punta Cana, Dominican Republic**

“You are such a lightweight,” Spencer said pushing (Y/n) up against the room door the second it closes behind the two. She giggles as his hands slip under her shirt to stop at the edge of her bra. “I didn’t even think it was possible to get drunk on Strawberry daiquiris.” he murmured before leaning down and kissing his way down her jaw to her neck.

“I’m not drunk.” She replied back between moans as she started unbuttoning his shirt before he shrugged it off.

“Are you sure about that?” He asked. “Your hand creeping it’s way up my thigh at dinner said otherwise.”

“I don’t see how that’s relevant” (Y/n) responded as he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

“Because the drunker you get the more touchy-feely you get.”

“Not true.” (Y/n) responded by shoving her hands into her hair while he pulled away just enough to pull her shirt over her head and slip her bra off. “I always want to touch you even when I’m sober.”

“Sure” he countered. “But you never inch your hand so high up my thigh that I have to grab your wrist to make you stop in public.”

“No one would have cared.” (Y/n) responded. “It’s an adults-only resort, I’m sure they’ve seen way worse.”

“Possibly,” Spencer said adjusting the way that he was holding her so that he could move her over to the bed, he gently laid her down before resuming kissing her. “I love you so much,” he whispered into her skin. 

“Then stop teasing please.” She said back wanting more than he was currently giving her.

“Only because you asked so nicely.” He replied, smirking before leaning down to put his mouth right. She desperately wanted him. It didn’t take long for her to fall apart, her hands tightly gripping his hair to keep him where she wanted him.

“God I love you.” She responded as he came back up to her and kissed her passionately. He separated only for a moment reaching over and grabbing something off the dresser. When she realized what was in his hand, she reached over putting herbs on top of his. “What happened to see what happened?” She asked and he looked at her judging how serious she was before throwing the unused condom into the trash can. 

(Y/n) sighed in relief as he came back to her, locking eyes with her before leaning down to kiss her. “You’re my everything.” He whispered to her and she sighed at the feeling she had been waiting on for what felt like forever.

“Funny because I was going to say the same thing.” 

\----

**February 2020**

**Washington D.C.**

(Y/n) made sure the leash was tightened around Cherry as she approached the park that she had agreed to meet Spencer at. It was an unusually warm day in D.C. which is why she had mentioned it to him when they had talked on the phone last night. She wasn’t ready to go sit down with him at a restaurant. She wanted to be in an open space, where it was easy to getaway. A crowded space, where people would hear her scream. And she wanted to bring Cherry for the extra protection. Cherry being a labradoodle, and a pretty large one at that looked way more threatening than she really was. 

She hadn’t told Louise that she was doing this because she didn't want to deal with the fall out in case things went south, in case she panicked and stood him up again. She also wasn’t ready to explain to Louise that no, she was not ready to move back in with her husband, and no this does not mean that things are going to be completely okay between them. 

As expected, the park was crowded when she showed up ten minutes late. It was sixty degrees outside and there were tons of kids on the playground, adults running, moms walking with strollers. As (Y/n) made her way through the park, she headed to where the chess boards were set up. She knew that’s where Spencer would be.

Sure enough, she saw him sitting at a board playing with an eight-year boy. He looked so happy, his face was lit up and he just radiated joy. Something that she knew would disappear as soon as he saw her. (Y/n) watched from afar until Cherry decided to start barking at a squirrel that was running up a tree. The barking distracted Spencer enough to look up from the game and when their eyes met she realized that was wrong. He looked even happier to see her. 

Spencer started to get up, much to the boy’s dismay, before (Y/n) walked over and stopped him. “You should finish,” she said and Spencer looked at her as if trying to figure out if she was serious when she nodded he resumed the game.

Five minutes later and he was telling the kid good game before standing up to join her. Cherry sniffed him curiously and when he held out his hands to pet her she decided that he wasn’t so bad. “Why did you let him win?” (Y/n) asked as they started walking on the paved trail.

“I didn’t.” 

“Yes you did.” (Y/n) responded. “You never lose, I’m not buying that you lost to an eight-year-old.”

“He’s a good player and I got distracted at the end.”

“You know him?”

“His name is Charles,” Spencer said. “He’s here a lot.”

“I see.” (Y/n) responded before the two fell into silence.

“Thank you for suggesting that we do this.” Spencer said, “It’s a really nice day out.”

“It is.” (Y/n) responded. “I don’t know, I just thought that it would be easier for me to be with you face to face in a park than in a restaurant.”

“Of course.” He responded. “I’ll do whatever makes you the most comfortable.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For not rushing me or making me feel pressured.” She said. At night when she was running through all the reasons that she knew Peter had lied to her, that was number one. “This is Cherry by the way.” (Y/n) said motioning towards the light-colored doodle that was sniffing anything and everyone. “Um, Peter got her for me. As well as the Fiat.”

“I was wondering about that,” Spencer responded. “She seems like a great dog.”

“She is.” (Y/n) responded. “How are your classes going?” (Y/n) asked, needing anything to fill the empty silence. 

“Really well,” Spencer responded. “I mean some kids pick it up better than others but for the most part those who are actually interested in the class do really well. The girls that audit are kind of annoying though.”

“Why does that not surprise me?” (Y/n) asked and they both shared a laugh. It was so nice to be able to hear his laugh and for it not sound bitter or painful. He sounded like he was happy again and despite the fear, in her chest, it made her heart happy. “So what are your hours like now?”

“Usually I’m gone 9-5 but I use the extra time at the university in my office grading papers so I don’t have to bring it home.” (Y/n) smiled at the idea of him not traveling anymore. What a relief it would’ve been back before Peter had he done this. The idea of her husband having a 9-5 job would’ve made the old (Y/n) absolutely ecstatic. 

“That’s great.” (Y/n) said, “I’m really happy for you.” 

After walking another lap around the path, it was clear that Cherry was not going to make it for a third. “Do you care if we just sit down?” (Y/n) asked pointing to a picnic table and Spencer shook his head no as they made their way over there. 

When they both sat down, Cherry made her way over to Spencer setting her head in his lap while he scratched her ears. “She likes you.” (Y/n) commented. “That’s high praise from her.”

“Really?” Spencer asked.

“Yeah.” she said. “She did not like the move down here at all. She was acting out all the time, when I would leave without her she would literally tear apart my brother’s house. When I took her to the vet the vet said that she was probably experiencing abandonment issues.” 

“From losing Peter?” Spencer asked and (Y/n) nodded once. 

“She did not like Derek at all.” (Y/n) said. “I mean the way she growled at him kind of scared me. She’s getting used to being here though, she’s much calmer.”

“That’s good,” Spencer said as the dog laid down in the grass, her head now resting on Spencer’s shoe. 

“Can we have a hard conversation?” (Y/n) asked after a minute and watching the way Spencer tensed made her heartache. He nodded before she continued. “Did you ever um have anyone else during the two years I was gone?”

She watched Spencer furrow his eyebrow in confusion before he realized what she was asking him. “No,” he said. “Never.”

“Why?”

“I never thought that I would get married, (Y/n). Not that I didn’t want to, I just spent so long alone I kind of got used to it. So when you came along and agreed to marry me I knew you were the only one. I never gave up hope that you would come back.”

“Does it upset you that I loved him?” She asked her voice cracking slightly and she noted the way he looked away for a brief moment to composite his thoughts.

“Yes,” Spencer responded honestly. “I’m not going to lie and say it doesn't. But not because I’m mad that you ‘cheated’ or something” he said putting cheating in air quotes to make it clear he in no way thought that she cheated on him. “It makes me upset that he manipulated you into believing I was the bad guy and he was the good guy. It makes me really upset to think about you during those two years thinking that I was hurting you. That still keeps me up at night.”

“That makes me upset too.” (Y/n) responded. “I’ve come to terms with him being the bad guy in this story, his cover was starting to fade by the end anyways. And while I’ve come to see that there is no way that you could hurt me, there is still just this instinctive feeling in my chest that I should be afraid of you.”  
Spencer nodded. “That’s because of the extreme torture he subjected you too.”

(Y/n) was silent for a moment, reliving the horror that she endured. But then a thought crossed her mind and before she could stop herself she blurted out “Did they tell you what he did?” 

Spencer shook his head no. “It was in the files, but I refused to read them.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to know,” he responded simply.

“I need you to.” (Y/n) said tears springing to her eyes. “I need you to know exactly what he did to me before we go any farther with whatever this is.”

“(Y/n),” Spencer said swallowing thickly. “I don’t want to imagine you in pain, I don’t want that image seared into my brain.”

“I don’t care.” (Y/n) said firmly. “I can’t live with this pain all alone Spencer. And if you want to be in my life again I need you to know. I need you to know how awful the night terrors are, waking up convinced I’m back in that warehouse. Or how the crackle of electricity makes my blood go cold. At the hospital when they tried to attach the wires to me to monitor her heart rate I became so freaked out that they had to sedate me. I need you to know just how broken I am Spencer or else this isn’t going to work.”

Spencer was quiet for a minute as he wiped tears away from his eyes. “Okay,” he whispered.

“Okay,” she repeated taking a deep breath wiping away a few of her own tears. “This is what happened.”

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**December 2019**

**Washington D.C.**

The snow was falling gently outside the window, it was supposed to be a blizzard tonight, they were calling for nearly eight inches of snow. Henry was ecstatic, snowing on Christmas morning. Spencer on the other hand couldn’t care less. Christmas for the past two years had just been another day and back in October when he got the call that they found (Y/n) he thought this Christmas would be different but it appeared he would still be spending it alone. 

“So she stood you up at the restaurant?” Abigail asked, noting a few things down in her book.

“Yeah,” Spencer responded. “It uh kind of hurt”

“I’m sure,” Abigail said. 

Spencer had also been seeing Abigail since October when (Y/n) returned. She was a little different than a normal counselor as she worked with helping patients return to their normal lives after intense trauma. This meant that while she met with (Y/n) once a week she met with Spencer every two weeks to help him figure out how to support (Y/n) through this. 

“In your professional opinion, do you think that she’s making progress?” He asked, almost holding his breath. “Like do you think that you can see her being comfortable with me again?”

“Yes,” Abigail said without hesitation. “To both questions. She remembers you, Spencer. It’s not that she’s forgotten you. And while right now it may seem like that doesn't matter because her brain is convinced you were hurting her, if she were to actually submerge herself into her old life with you she would quickly find that what she was told was not the case.”

“So why can’t we just do that?” Spencer asked. “I mean why can’t we just say ‘Hey (Y/n) it’s time to go home’?”

“You’re a smart guy Spencer,” Abigail responded. “So I know that you know, if you force her into this, it will only imprint the idea more into her head. Your goal is to try and get her to see you as the loving husband you are. You don’t want to push her, don’t want to pressure her. You need to remain as calm as possible when you’re with her. Any sudden outbursts of anger and she’s gone.”

Spencer nodded looking back outside to watch the snow continue to fall. The commute home was going to be a nightmare. “What if she never wants to meet up or give me the chance to show her that I’m not that guy?”

“She will,” Abigail said. “The fact that she at least made dinner plans with you is a huge step in the right direction. To be honest, I knew she’d bail, it was too big of a step, she needs to take baby steps to ease herself into this.”

“Baby steps,” Reid said. “Like?” he trailed off for the first time not quite sure what the answer to this problem was. 

“I suggested to her that she try calling you. Just listening to your voice over the phone from the safety of her own room. And then once she is completely comfortable in doing that the two of you can meet in a crowded public place, like a park or a museum. And then you can try dinner or lunch dates if it’s a crowded restaurant.”

“Surrounded by people,” Spencer commented noticing the common thread between everything she just listed.

“Yes,” Abigail said. “For a while, I think it’s important that you are constantly surrounded by people, you can’t hurt her if she’s in a crowded room, and even if you were to find some way to do so, she could scream for help. I think that it will take more time for her to be comfortable enough to be alone with you again.”

Spencer put his head in his hands signing in frustration. He knew that this would be a process and he is of course ready to do it, he just wished that it hadn’t come to this. “Is there  _ anything  _ I can do to speed this process up, to help her brain cut the crossed wire?”

“Yes.” Abigail said, “but I think that you need to remember to take things slow, you don’t want to make her uncomfortable.” She said while flipping through her notebook. “So when he was torturing her, he used your voice and your image.” Spencer shuddered at the words torturing her, while he knew that it had happened it wasn’t something that he wanted to think about. “So those two things trigger those awful memories for her. However, he was not able to replicate your touch or your smell. While I would not recommend touching her yet, anyway that you can find to get her to smell you would be good. Instinctively she will smell you and feel safe as that will not be tied to any of the memories Peter forced onto her.”

“How would you recommend doing that?” 

“Drop off a blanket at Louise’s house. Don’t go in and don’t let (Y/n) know you were there. You could also drop off more of her old clothes as those would probably help jog her memory and in the box of old clothes, it wouldn't hurt to slip in a few shirts of your own.”

“Okay.”

“I would also recommend dropping off a photo album, I want her to be able to see how happy she was with you. Looking at pictures will help jog her memory to remember the happy moments that she had with you. I know this sounds cheesy, but if you guys have like certain songs that you associate with memories, I would burn a cd and put that in there as well.”

Spencer laughed at that already knowing exactly what he needed to do when he got home. He was already making a list of all the things he would pack in a box to drop off at Louie's before the storm got really bad. He wanted her to have them tomorrow morning for Christmas. 

“Our time is running out.” Abigail continued. “But I think there’s one last thing that’s probably the most important thing to remember and before I say I want you to brace yourself.” Spencer nodded. “She loved Peter.” He wasn’t ready for that. “She loved him, Spencer. She thought that he was her savior. He told her that we would try and convince her that you were a good person. He told her over and over again that without him she wouldn’t be safe, that he was the only one who could keep her safe.” Spencer swallowed thickly thinking about his wife in love with the man who took her from him. “So while I know it will be difficult, you need to not blame Peter for any of this, don’t talk bad about him. I would recommend just not talking about him at all. Because if you start talking bad about him and telling her that he’s the bad guy it will reinforce what he told her.”

“How am I supposed to pretend he wasn’t the bad guy here?” Spencer asked. “I mean he’s the reason I lost my wife.”

“I know,” Abigail responded. “Which is why right now I would recommend not talking about him. It will be sooner rather than later when she comes to the conclusion that he was lying to her, that he was the one hurting her in that warehouse, she just needs a little bit of time.”

“How long do you think that will be?”

“I don’t know,” Abigail responded. “She’s starting to question how much of what he told her was a lie so I figure another month max before she realizes that he’s the villain in this story. But even once she realizes that she’s going to have a hard time convincing her brain that she’s safe with you.” Spencer nodded weakly before Abigail continued. “We’re out of time for today.” She said standing up and he did the same. “I promise that she’s making progress. She will come back to you, you just have to be patient.”

“Thank you,” Spencer said before exiting the office and heading outside into the cold. Back at home, he grabbed a laundry hamper before heading to their closet pulling out the sweaters that he knew (Y/n) used to love to wear. He threw a couple of pairs of leggings into them as well. Most of her clothes had not been touched in nearly two years so he decided he would need to wash them to get rid of the musty smell. He took the laundry basket and grabbed a dress shirt of his as well as two larger sweatshirts of his that she always wore around the house. 

Then he retreated into the bedroom where he grabbed his large plaid blanket that she used to always hog in the middle of the night. Although it didn’t stink he threw it into the wash as well remembering what Abigail had said about her needing to smell him. He wrinkled his nose slightly at the idea. 

After throwing everything in the wash he found the photo album from their wedding and honeymoon setting in gently in the cardboard box he planned to take over to Louise’s. Then he shuffled through their DVD drawer until he found both the movie and soundtrack to Pitch Perfect and La La Land. Neither of which were movies he was overly fond of but she loved them and he had to admit that after the seventh time viewing them they do grow on you. 

When the laundry was done, he carefully folded everything up placing it in the box before picking it up and heading to Louise’s. It was only 5 pm but the sun was already setting making it feel much colder than it was. All around him on the metro people looked blissful and happy. That’s what usually happens on Christmas Eve. He had gotten a text message from JJ earlier asking him if he wanted to come over for dinner to which he had agreed after giving up on the idea that (Y/n) would be coming home with him. It was just a delusion that he allowed to play out in his head after all. 

When he got to Louise’s he knocked softly on the door, he could hear the tv in the background and his heart yearned to be in here with her, wrapped on the couch watching the snowfall. It took a moment but Louise cautiously opened the door just cracking it open. When she saw it was him she quickly let herself out careful as to not show (Y/n) who was on the other side of the door.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered to him. “You know you can’t come in.”

“I know.” He whispered back. “I am just dropping off some of her stuff. Abigail said it was a good idea.”

Louise looked down at the box laughing out loud when she saw La La Land sitting on top. “Damn it.” She said. “You should've come over an hour earlier and then I wouldn’t have had to buy this stupid move.”

“You hate it too?”

“It sucks ass,” Louise said and the two quietly laughed. “Thanks for bringing her stuff. I’m sure that she will appreciate it,” she said as Spencer handed her the box. 

“Of course,” he responded swaying awkwardly in the hall.

“Well,” Louise said cringing to herself. “Have a good night. I’m so sorry.” She said the guilt of not being able to let him weigh down on her. 

“It’s okay,” Spencer whispered back before heading back down the hall and heading to JJs for dinner. Later that night, while Spencer sat on the floor next to a sleeping Henry watching Home Alone, his phone buzzed. When he pulled it out of his pocket, it was a message from Louise with a picture of (Y/n) asleep out on the couch with his blanket wrapped around her. 

\----

**October 2020**

**Bar Harbor Maine**

“Fuck” Peter cursed at the red and blue lights in his mirror. He hit the steering wheel before yelling another string of curse words. Slowly he pulled off the shoulder turning the car off while he did. The officer got out of the cruiser walking up to him with a blinding light in his hands. 

“License and registration please?” the officer asked and Peter flashed the charming Arnett smile that used to get him out of everything. 

“How are you doing tonight?” he asked the officer while he handed everything over. The officer didn’t say anything examining his documents. 

“How much have you been drinking tonight Mr.Arnett?”

“I’m not answering that. I know my rights.” Peter said smugly, he was trying to be charming before but this officer was clearly an asshole. 

“Will you submit to a breathalyzer?”

“No.” 

“Please get out of the car sir.” The officer responded as the backup cruiser pulled up to them. Peter carefully got out of the car making sure to not stumble or grab onto the door for balance. “Can you come over here?” the officer asked and Peter followed him over to the white line on the side of the road. “I want you to walk this line for me.”

“No,” Peter said. 

“Okay.” The officer said, pulling his cuffs out of his pocket. “Peter Arnett you are under arrest for suspected DUI. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be held against you in the court of law.” The officer rambled off all of his Miranda rights as he led Peter over to the back of the cruiser where he forced him into the car. 

Once in the car, Peter’s head hit the back of the seat. It would be okay. When he gets to the police station, he’ll call Wendy and she will come to bail him out. It’ll be 1000 dollars, which won’t be any problem. After that, he will definitely lose his license for a year and he’ll have to go to court at some point but that won’t be any big deal. He can handle that. And he doesn’t need a license, he’ll just get himself a fake id. He smiled to himself for being so smart, of course, he could find a workaround for the law. 

\---

**May 2020**

**Washington D.C.**

Louise knocked lightly on the door of (Y/n)’s new apartment which (Y/n) promptly swung open with her bag already on her shoulder, she was wearing a knee-length dress with a cardigan draped over it. “Ready?”

“Is that  _ his cardigan!” _ Louise all but exclaimed in the hallway of (Y/n)’s new building. It had been a surprise to Louise when (Y/n) informed her right after the wedding that she already had a lease on a new place. And while Louise was sad to see (Y/n) leave, she was also relieved that she and Derek could move in together and start married life. 

“Maybe,” (Y/n) said. “It’s not that big of a deal Lou, I used to wear it all the time.”

“Seems like a pretty big deal to me,” Louise said teasingly. “Come on, Derek is waiting in the car.” (Y/n) nodded leaning down to give Cherry a kiss goodbye before she followed Louise down to the car. She knew that Derek recognized the cardigan but unlike Louise, he chose to keep his mouth shut, she knew he was profiling her but she didn’t care.

They made small talk before Derek asked the question she knew everyone wanted the answer too. “So how have you and pretty boy’s solo dates gone? Are we in for an awkward dinner?”

“No, not at all,” (Y/n) responded. “Things are starting to go much better between the two of us.”

“Have you gone home with him yet?” Louise asked

“No,” (Y/n) said quietly, to be honest, she thought about going home with him on the last date but then she chickened out. The idea of being alone  _ alone  _ again with him still kind of made her nervous. But last night with Abigail's approval she had decided that maybe tonight she would invite him back to  _ her  _ house. Abagail said was important for her to be comfortable and she stressed that in no way should have sex with him unless she was 100 percent sure she was ready. Instead, she had suggested that they just sit on the couch and watch a movie. Originally she had said play cards but (Y/n) was not ready to start losing again. 

As they pulled up to the restaurant, (Y/n) saw that JJ, Will, and Spencer were all waiting outside. Derek found a parking spot and they all headed up the sidewalk to the restaurant that JJ had picked. They all quickly exchanged hellos before heading inside to be seated at the table they had reserved. 

“You look so cute,” Spencer said to her as they followed Louise and Derek into the restaurant. 

“It’s the cardigan.” She responded playfully.

“I do have good tastes.” 

“No you don’t,” (Y/n) said back playfully as the hostess showed them their table. The girls all decided to sit on one side while their partners sat across from them.

“This is so nice you guys,” JJ said and everyone nodded in agreeance. The waitress came over dripping off a basket of bread before taking their drink orders.

“How has the BAU been?” Spencer asked. “Has Tara been doing well?”

“Tara is great,” Morgan said. “She’s fitting in really nicely.”

“She is,” JJ responded. “We all miss you so much though.” Morgan nodded in agreeance. “Do you think you’ll come back anytime soon?” She asked and the hopefulness in her voice kind of broke (Y/n)’s heart.

“No,” Spencer responded quickly and (Y/n) let out a breath she didn’t know that she was holding. “I’m really enjoying teaching and not having to travel all the time.”

“I get it,” JJ responded. “Did any students give you a hard time this semester?”

“Yes.” Spencer said “Her name is Miranda but she’s actually a student, she’s not auditing, which I think almost makes it worse. She shows up to office hours all the time, in-class she always sits in the front row, always early and always stays late. I mean it’s so transparent.”

“Have you told her that you have a wife?” (Y/n) asks even though she totally did not mean to say it out loud, nor did she mean for it to come off as bitter as it sounded. It clearly shocked everyone else at the table as they all turned to look at her, she felt her cheeks turning bright red.

“Numerous times,” Spencer responded and much to (Y/n)’s relief no one called her out on her comment. She was in the right, after all, she was his wife, she had the right to want to know if he made it clear to some college girl that he was not available. Still, the jealousy that had flamed within her chest was not what she was expecting at all. “I just don’t think she cares.

“The semester's almost over isn’t it?” Louise asked and Spencer nodded before telling her that the final exams for his classes took place in the upcoming weeks and then he would be off until late August.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come back to the BAU even for just a few months while you’re not teaching?” JJ asked slightly annoying (Y/n), only this time she bit her tongue. 

“I’m sure,” he responded. “I mean you can call if you’re really stumped but I’m going to stay here and just enjoy my time off.”

“By enjoying do you mean read a thousand books?” Morgan teased

“I do,” Spencer responded back dead serious and (Y/n) couldn’t help but laugh as the rest of the table quickly joined her. The food was brought over by the waitress and as they all started eating the conversation shifted towards what they're plans were for the summer that was rapidly approaching. 

“So,” Louise said. “Our summer is going to be a little bit different,” she said, gesturing between herself and Derek. “We were going to wait a little bit longer to tell anyone but now seems like as good a time as any. But I’m pregnant!”

Everyone looked up from their meals in shock before saying congratulations and I'm so happy for you. “When did you find out?” (Y/n) asked,

“The week before we got married,” Louise said with a grimace. “Not a great time to be taking a pregnancy test.” She said and both (Y/n) and JJ burst out laughing. 

“Do you know the gender?” Will asked as Spencer burst out laughing.

“You don’t find out the gender until about 18-21 weeks along although sometimes it can be revealed as soon as 14 weeks which is approximately the fourth month of the pregnancy.” He said nodding his head at his own words. 

“Thank God I don’t have to live with him right now,” Louise said and everyone laughed. “I don’t know how you’ll-” but she stopped herself short realizing that probably the last thing (Y/n) wanted right now was to think of herself pregnant. 

“Well, I’m so happy for you guys,” (Y/n) said as they all finished eating and the waitress brought back the checks. (Y/n) reached for hers but Spencer quickly snatched it off the table.

“I’m buying.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” (Y/n) said. “I’m buying my own meal.”

“Babe, we have a joining bank account, it’s all good.” (Y/n) flushed not only at the word Babe but also at the fact that she forgot for a second that they very much shared finances. She also tended to keep forgetting that her last name was still Reid, not Watson. Something that almost got her in trouble when she tried to renew her driver's license and told them the wrong last name. 

After all the checks were paid for the couples headed outside into the warm May air. The weather down here was not much nicer than Maine during this time of year (Y/n) thought to herself. Outside they bid goodbye to JJ and Will while Derek and Louise gave (Y/n) a second to talk to Spencer.

“So,” (Y/n) started feeling very nervous all of a sudden. “I was thinking maybe you could come back to my house for a little bit?” She spits out so fast that she was surprised to see his face light up in shock when he registered what she was saying.

“Are you sure?” He asked cautiously. “I don’t want you to push yourself too hard.”

“I know,” (Y/n) responded. “But I figure it’s the next logical step.” She said cringing at her words. “ _ Not  _ that I’m inviting you over to sleep with me, because I’m  _ not.  _ Not that I don’t want to sleep with you but -” she laughed awkwardly and he joined in “Please make me stop talking before I embarrass myself.”

“No need to be embarrassed. I would be more than happy to come over for a movie night as long as we don’t have to watch La La Land.”

“Pitch Perfect it is.” She said and he groaned before she shouted up and Derek and Louise that they were good to leave her. Louise shouted back to text her if she needed anything and (Y/n) only nodded before following Spencer to the parking lot to where his car was. She could do this. She was a badass after all. 

\----

**October 2019**

**Bar Harbor Maine**

“Wendy?” Peter asked into the phone, he hated that she was going to have to come up here to the police station if these cops realized that he was holding an FBI agent's wife captive something tells him his night is going to go a little differently. 

“Where are you, Peter?”

“I’m at the police station, I was um arrested for a DUI. I need you to come to bail me out.”

“What?” she shrieked into the phone and he honestly didn’t blame her at this point.

“Listen I don’t have much time left on this call. There are a thousand dollars in the nightstand draw, just bring that up here and tell them you’re here to pick me up and everything will be fine.”

“Okay,” Wendy responded clearly nervous. That was the last thing he heard from her before his time was up on the phone. He was then ushered back to his jail cell where he had to wait on Wendy to come to bail him out. 

\----

Wendy quickly grabbed the cash from the drawer where Peter told her it would be. She was absolutely fuming with him right now. The last thing that she wanted to do was go into a police station, that seemed dangerous. What if someone thought that she looked like (Y/n)?

But if she didn't’ bail him out she would have to stay here alone for God only knows how long and that was almost worse. So she grabbed the keys to the Fiat and headed out into the night. 

The Bar Harbor police station was a small nondescript building. If it wasn’t for the fact that there were a few police cars in the lot she would question whether she was even in the right place. She parked her car in a spot close to the door grabbing the cash that she had stuffed into an envelope before heading inside. 

“Hi,” she said to the officer at the front desk trying to appear as calm and collected as possible. She looked nothing like (Y/n) and (Y/n) had gone missing nearly a thousand miles away from where she rationed with herself. “I’m here to put on a bond for Peter Arnett.”

Okay, the woman said typing into the computer. “It’s a thousand dollars.” Wendy nodded, sliding the envelope across the counter before making sure that all the money was there. “Alright, so I just need a little bit of information from you. To start what is your first and last name?”

“Wendy Watson” 

\----

“Morgan, Rossi, Hotch JJ, Lewis!” Garica screamed she practically ran down the hall towards where the team was sitting in the bullpen doing paperwork.

“What is it, baby girl?” Morgan asked already on his feet looking like he was ready for any threat. 

“We have a lead. A massive lead.” she breathed out trying to catch her breath. “On (Y/n). And when I say massive lead I mean I think I found her.”

“What?” JJ exclaimed as they all quickly made their way to the round table. Garcia quickly logged into her computer the same alert before pulling up on the screen.

“Someone should call Reid,” Morgan said.

“Not yet,” Hotch said. “Garcia tell us what you found.”

“So you know how we don't know much of anything about (Y/n)’s family besides her brother Sam who lives here” They all nodded while Garcia continued. “Well, I did some digging after she disappeared because I felt like there was something weird going on in Georgia. Well, what I found was a mom who's an alcoholic and a dad who has an entirely new life in Nebraska now.”

“Tell me this is good news, that she’s still alive,” Morgan said. “Spencer won’t be able to come back from losing her.”

“Let me finish.” Garcia scolded not in the mood for their usual banter when it was one of their own involved. “I was running into tons of brick walls trying to find anything substantial about the father or mother but then I noticed Sam’s birth certificate is from Nevada. And when I searched Nevada I found that the father was arrested for the murder of his 12-year-old daughter Wendy, they said that he was abusive and killed her. Somehow a jury found him not guilty. ” JJ and Morgan both shook their head in disgust. 

“So I put a marker on everyone’s name in the family that way if any of them were run through criminal databases we would know. At the time I figured (Y/n) had maybe found her father and confronted him for killing her older sister, whom she had never met by the way, and perhaps the father took her. But the alert I just got was even stranger. Someone is trying to post bail for a Peter Arnett out of jail using the name Wendy Watson. 

Hotch grabbed the phone quickly dialing up the Bar Harbor Police Department. He kept it on speaker so that the team could hear the conversation. “This is officer Durant.”

“Yes, This is supervisory special agent Aaron Hotchner with the behavioral analysis unit of the FBI I am calling because you just accepted bail money from a woman claiming to be Wendy Watson?”

“Yes.” Duran said “one moment.” he said and the team heard the sound of a door shutting. “We ran that name and it came back belonging to a dead girl. Her driver’s license is a fake claiming to be Wendy Arnett and she says that she is trying to bail out her husband Peter Arnett. We are about to arrest them both for identity fraud.”

“Don’t do that,” Aaron instructed. “We have strongly believed that the girl is (Y/n) Reid”

“That missing wife of the FBI Agent?” Durant asked, “This girl looks nothing like her.”

“Yes, but (Y/n)’s maiden name is Watson and Wendy was her older sister. Did they make bail?” the officer answered yes. “Do you have their address?” He did. “I want you to let them go.”

“Hotch,” Morgan said worriedly. Aaron only waved a hand at him. 

“I want you to let them go home and do not under any circumstance give them any reason to believe that you are onto them. We want them to think they got away with this. Can you give me the address?” The officer then gave Hotch an address which he scribbled down on the notepad. “Thank you for your help,” he said before hanging up. “Wheels up now. Someone calls Read when we get to the jet and tells him he can be on the next commercial flight out.”

\----

“That’s definitely her,” Rossi said handing the binocular over to Hotch who got a look as well nodding in approval.

“Reid’s plane shouldn’t be landing for another hour.” JJ said. 

“Good,” Hotch said. “I don’t want him anywhere near this house.”

“Hotch?” Morgan asked. “What if we don’t get her?” 

“We will,” Hotch said. “She’s coming home tonight.”

“They are getting in bed. Is swat ready?” 

“Yeah,” Hotch said as the team started to gear up. “Alright, Rossi and I will take the front, Lewis, and Morgan in the back, JJ I want you to go around to the side and see if you can get an angle into the bedroom in case things go south.” 

They all nodded, getting out of the car and quietly heading towards the house. On his command, they broke open the front door shouting as the procedure required. As they made their way to the bedroom though, Hotch quickly realized his worst fear had become true, Peter had pulled a gun and was holding it to (Y/n). 

“Peter,” Hotch said calmly, placing his gun on the floor. “You don’t want to do this.”

“You don’t know what I want to do,” Peter shouted back 

“Peter,” Hotch said. “I know that you think this is Wendy. It’s not. Her name is (Y/n). (Y/n) Reid. I know that she looks like Wendy and that’s because Wendy is her older sister, but she is not Wendy” (Y/n) cried out as Peter pushed the gun harder into her temple. “You’re hurting her Peter. I know you don’t want to hurt her.”

“You’re going to hurt her,” Peter yelled back.

“No,” Aaron replied. “Listen to me Peter, I know that you saved her. I can even make you a pretty good deal for it. Her husband, Spencer, fired. We found out that he was abusing her. You did the right thing. You saved her life. He’s going back to jail.”

“You’re lying,” Peter said, gun wavering from her head. 

“I’m not lying. Tell him, you guys.”

“He’s not lying,” Morgan said. “That abusive piece of shit is long gone, he’s not going to hurt her anymore, but right now you’re hurting her.” (Y/n) cried in pain as he shoved the gun even harder into her head.

“If you really love Wendy you’ll let (Y/n) go,” Rossi said, deciding to try a different angle. “Wendy wouldn't want her sister to join her in Heaven yet. Spencer is never going to hurt (Y/n) again, not like Wendy’s dad did her. You couldn’t save Wendy but you saved (Y/n).”

“I did,” Peter said slowly. “I saved her,” he said laughing and even in the room nodded, they were getting close. This nightmare was almost over. “Put the gun down Peter and we will make a deal, a jury will be sympathetic, they will see you as the hero.” 

Peter nodded with a large grin on his face while he put his hand in the air still holding the fun. “Just put it down Peter,” Morgan said. They were going to get her. (Y/n) was going to be safe, Tonight Spencer would have his wife back. These are the things that ran through Hotch’s mind right before all hell broke loose. 

Peter was lowering the gun when they heard it. “(Y/n)!” Spencer screamed rushing into the house. And within an instant, it was all over. Peter fired a shot before Aaron was able to, effectively shooting (Y/n). She fell to the ground motionless. Peter fell with her as Hotch fired two shots efficiently killing Peter. 

Rossi quickly ran over to (Y/n). “She’s still alive! We need paramedics stat,” he said into the microphone as he started to apply pressure to her wound. It was then that Spencer rounded the corner to see his wife laying there on the floor in a pool of her own blood. 

“Let’s go.” Morgan tried but it was no use, Spencer was already leaning on the ground next to (Y/n) begging her to open her eyes even though she was knocked out cold. It didn't take long for the paramedics to arrive, getting her into an ambulance, and rushing her to a hospital with Spencer in tow. 

“We almost fucking had him,” Hotch swore frustrated to no end with the way that the scene just played out. It was about to be a no loss situation but now they were very realistically looking at an all loose situation.

“I hate to admit it, but I think Straus was right when she said this team goes vogue when our own are involved,” Rossi said.

“He’ll never forgive himself if she dies now,” JJ added all of them sighing and trying to not think about the way things could very easily turn out tonight. 

\----

**May 2020**

**Washington D.C.**

“I will say,” Spencer said sitting back down on the couch next to (Y/n) with the fresh popcorn, she had his blanket pulled up to her chin even though it was not that cold in her house. “Vector is such a great villain. Committing crime in both magnitude and direction? Genius.” 

“So you liked it?” (Y/n) asked. “There is also a second one and then there’s a whole movie just about the minions. The second one is better.”

“The minion one is terrible.” 

“You’ve seen it?” (Y/n) questions in surprise.

“Henry loves these movies.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me? We could’ve picked something else.” (Y/n) said looking over at him. 

“I didn’t care. Besides these are pretty good for kids movies.”

“Our kids will love them.”

“Yeah, and they will actually get the math jokes.”

“Oh God,” (Y/n) said and they both started laughing knowing that he was right. In all honesty, they probably would be bored by movies like this if they had even 5 percent of his brain. 

After the laughter died down, Spencer looked over at her, and just by the look in his eyes, she could tell what conversation they were about to have. And while she didn't want to have it she understood that it was an important conversation for moving forward. 

“Um.” he started and she nodded as if to tell him that it was okay. That she was ready. “The doctor when you first came back said you had a miscarriage?”

(Y/n) nodded once before responding, hoping that her voice was not actually as shaky as it sounded in her head. “I did.” She said. 

Spencer reached out to grab her hand before he could stop himself. She didn’t recoil away instead she let him take it and squeeze it gently. “I’m so sorry.” He said tears in his eyes. “That must have been so hard.”

“I uh, didn’t really realize that it had even happened to be honest,” (Y/n) said, swallowing. “It was like one minute I was pregnant and the next I wasn’t. I think it was a combination of the drugs and torture that made me not realize that I had lost her.”

“Wait,” Spencer said, suddenly sitting up straighter on the couch. “What?”

“What, what?” (Y/n) responded.

“You miscarried in the first three weeks you were gone?” He asked his voice cracking and that’s when she realized what he was confused about.

“You didn’t know it was yours,” she said softly and this time it was her turn to squeeze his hand.

“I thought it was his,” Spencer said through tears. “I never considered that it might have been mine.”

(Y/n) nodded once. “Punta Cana.” She said and Spencer sniffled reaching up to wipe away a few tears. “I was going to tell you the night I disappeared,” she said looking down and studying her fingernails. “You should be glad though, Peter wouldn’t touch me because of that. He never said it out loud but he was disgusted by the idea. Thought that it made me impure.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“You’re apologizing because the man who held me captive wouldn’t have sex with me?” (Y/n) asked and she couldn’t help but laugh a little. “I thought that would make you feel relieved.”

“No,” Spencer said. “I mean I’m relieved you didn’t have sex with him but I wish that it hadn’t been for that reason.” 

She didn’t say anything for a minute just watching the way he would curl his hand not in hers into a fist before uncurling it. “You’re mad.” She said slowly withdrawing her hand from him as if he had burnt her. 

“I’m not mad.”

“Don’t lie to me, Spencer.”

“Yes, I’m mad okay!” He shouted at her and she immediately got up off the couch to put some distance between the two of them. “I’m mad that that fucker not only took my wife away from me for two years but now I’m finding out that he killed my child.”

“Our child,” she yelled back at him. “He killed  _ our  _ child. You’re not the only one who's been living in hell for the past two years.” 

When Spencer stood up off the couch, she was reminded just how tall he was, if he wanted he could have her pinned against this wall his hands around her throat and no one would be able to save her. The idea sent a wave of panic through her. She needed him to leave. Now. “Get out.” She said suddenly.

“(Y/n),” Spencer said sitting back down much calmer now. “Please-”

“I said get out,” she yelled back at him, her finger pointed towards the front door. 

“Okay.” He said slowly standing up his hands in the air. He started to make his way towards the door before he stopped his hand on the knob. “Can I at least hug you goodbye?” He asked suddenly.

(Y/n) opened her mouth to say no but no words came out. It was then that she let out a choked sob as she realized just how screwed up her life had become. So wordlessly Spencer made his way over to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her. It took her a second to respond but when she did it was pure instincts that wrapped her arms around him even tighter. She buried her head into his chest sobbing away everything that happened in the last two years. 

“It’s okay.” He whispered to her. Running his hands through her shorter hair, she had just recently chopped off all the black hair making her the natural red color again although it was still much shorter than she had ever worn it. “You’re safe now.”

She reached her hands up to grab fistfuls of shirt trying to bring him impossibly closer. “He ruined my life.” she sobbed into him.

“Shh.” He said continuing to run his hands through her hair the same way he used to when she was upset. “He didn’t ruin your life. He took away two years but that’s such a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things.”

“You don’t believe that,” (Y/n) said hiccuping. “Please don’t lie to me, Spence.”

“I’m not lying,” Spencer replied moving his arms to her back to pull her even closer to him. “These past two years felt like a lifetime but they are over. We have the rest of our lives, he can’t ruin the rest of your life unless you let him. These past two years were just a really violent storm, but now the sun is starting to come back out okay? And when the sun comes out when it’s raining it usually makes a rainbow.”

“That is the most ridiculous thing you have ever said,” (Y/n) responded laughing now instead of crying. “Like absolute garbage, but I loved it.” she took a few deep breaths refusing to pull away from him yet.“Will you stay?” She asks a stark contrast from 10 minutes ago when she was screaming at him to get out.

“Of course,” Spencer said, pulling her closer to him, (Y/n) kept her face buried into him hoping that maybe he could make it all go away, maybe she could stay here in his embrace and nothing bad will ever happen again.

“I want to go to bed,” (Y/n) said after another five minutes of them standing there holding each other. She was still struggling to catch her breath, so many different emotions washing through her at once. 

“Okay,” Spencer said before slightly pulling back from their embrace only to lean down and pick her up bridal style. She wrapped her arms around his neck keeping her head pressed against him. He took her into the bedroom and gently laid her down on the bed before pulling the covers up over her. “Do you need anything? Water? Phone?”

“You.” 

“(Y/n) I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Spencer said hesitantly. “I can sleep on the couch if you want but I’m not sure-”

“Spencer,” (Y/n) said. “I’m okay I promise, but I’m tired of sleeping alone at night. I am tired of waking up from nightmares with no one here to tell me it’s over. Please do this for me or I swear to God.”

Spencer still looked nervous as he crawled into the bed next to her. He pulled the blankets up around himself as well careful to keep a respectful distance between him and (Y/n) in case she changed her mind. However, she surprised him when she scooted over to him before putting her head on his chest her arm slung across his torso. He instantly put his arms around her as well sighing at the smell of her shampoo, for so long he never thought that he’d get to smell it again. 

“I um, I missed you. Up in Maine. I hated myself for it because I saw it as being dependent on you but I missed you.”

“You have no idea how much I missed you,” Spencer replied. “God it was horrible not knowing whether you were dead or alive. I spent so much time trying to figure out which I would prefer. For the first month or so I wanted you to be alive. I wanted you to come home to me so bad. But then as time passed I started thinking that I would sleep better at night if I knew that you were dead if I knew exactly where you were. I would lay awake at night imagining you chained in someone’s basement and then I would pray that you were dead. The idea of having to bury you became better than the idea of someone holding you captive and you being in pain for a year. I hated myself for that.” He continued taking deep breaths. “I thought that I must be the worst husband in the world to actually  _ want  _ his wife to be dead. But I don’t know. I know that it was hell for you, but a part of me is glad that at least Peter wasn’t treating you like a prisoner.”

“He didn’t,” (Y/n) responded. “He treated me like a wife, a housebound wife, but a wife nonetheless. But as I start to look back on those two years I can see where things were not how they should have been. He wasn’t physically abusing me but he was emotionally abusing me to no end.”

“Which is almost worse.” He said as the two of them then fell silent. It was clear that (Y/n) was exhausted, he could feel her trying to keep herself awake so he started rubbing her back in a reassuring way promising her that it was okay to go to sleep and that he would be here when she woke up.

“Spencer?” She said as she closed her eyes inhaling his familiar scent. 

“Yeah?”

“Promise me you’ll be here when I wake up?” 

“Always.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Just an update on the timing of updates, they might slow down a little as my classes just started back up :( but I promise that I will finish this story, I don't have any works in progress that are published and don't get finished as I know how annoying that can be :)


	8. Chapter 8

**September 2017**

**Washington D.C.**

She was pregnant. Actually pregnant this time. She couldn't help the smile on her face as she danced around their kitchen. She had known for about a week now. She was dying to tell Spencer but refused to tell him over the phone. After Punta Cana, he had been called away for work for about a week only to come home last night at 12 am. And while she wanted to tell him last night she also saw how incredibly drained he looked. So instead she opted to go out and buy a Star Trek baby onesie which she had wrapped up and hidden away under the mattress until he came home. 

In the kitchen, she had her music blaring as she started making dinner for the two of them. He had texted her to let her know that he would be home in an hour which gave her just the right amount of time to cook and get everything ready. She was absolutely bubbling with anxiety about telling him. 

As she was dancing around the kitchen, she heard his computer bring from where it sat open on the kitchen island. He had left it here as he refused to use it still. The only reason he had it was because Hotch told him it was department mandated. She ignored it until she heard two more bings. So then she headed over to shut it down but when she walked over to it she noticed it was unlocked and showing live messages coming through with someone. He must be using his computer at work right now she thought to herself. 

She looked at the screen to see who he was IM’ing instead of doing paperwork, he needed to be focused on his paperwork so that he could come home sooner. The number was a blocked number but it wasn’t until she started to read the conversation that she felt panic rise in her chest. 

“She’s home right now.” Spencer had written.

“Okay.”

“You promise you’ll leave me alone?” Spencer had asked.

“A deal is a deal. You give her to me and I will never contact you again.”

“Okay. You have the key right?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you Spencer.” the mystery person wrote back and (Y/n) felt her whole world stop. This was some kind of sick joke he was playing on her and she was going to kill him when he came home. She reached for her phone, tears already in her eyes. She started to dial his number when she felt the person behind her grab her. She tried to scream but he held a cloth up to her mouth. She then remembered when Spencer said if anyone does that don’t breathe as they are drugging you. She tried her hardest to not breathe and to fight but eventually, her lungs gave out and she took a giant breath. Once she did, the kidnappers hold on to her loosened and she instantly reached for her stomach to protect her baby as she felt her eyes get really tired. She tried to fight it the best she could but eventually, she couldn’t anymore. So she just closed her eyes.

\-----

**October 2020**

**Bar Harbor, Maine**

“Reid!” Hotch yelled the second he saw the boy sitting in the waiting room of the hospital “What the hell was that back there?”

Spencer's head snapped up, his eyes red and puffy. “What?”

“You know what!” Hotch said. “He was going to drop the guns and we were going to get them both out of there.”

“Well maybe if someone had called me earlier and I could've been on the jet I would’ve known that. I should’ve gone into that house with you guys and you know it.”

“You’re wrong Spencer,” Hotch said sitting down next to the boy his anger slowly disappeared as he realized everything the kid was going through and that the last thing he needed was to be yelled at right now. “I made the choice to not call you earlier because I did not want you there. I know what that’s like okay and I made the wrong move back then too and it cost Hailey her life. I didn't want you to make the same mistake I did.”

“Well, I did,” Spencer said, putting his head into his hands. “And it might cost (Y/n) her life too.”

“Have the doctors said anything?”

“She’s still in surgery. Has been for the past three hours probably will be for the next three is what they said.” Spencer sighed a new batch of tears threatening to fall. “It was a bad Hotch. She coded twice in the ambulance, her heart stopped  _ twice _ . And there was nothing I could do about it. She wasn’t even conscious enough for me to tell her that I love her one last time”

“She’s a fighter.” hotch said after a moment. “You have to trust in that right now.” Spencer only nodded once before he closed his eyes trying to remember how to breathe.

The three hours left of her surgery were the slowest three hours of his life, even slower than sitting in prison staring at the wall. It was like time seemed to come to a standstill. Different members of the BAU came and went while making sure that there was always someone by his side. 

After what felt like forever the doctor came out. “Dr.Reid?” Spencer jumped to his feet and practically sprinted to the doctor. “She’s going to be okay.” Spencer burst into tears at those words and was so glad that Morgan had come over to make sure he didn't fall over. “There was extensive internal bleeding but we were able to fix her up. She’s resting now but you’re more than welcome to sit with her.”

Spencer followed the doctor down the hall. Morgan had to stay behind as it was only family down the hall. The doctor led him to the room where (Y/n) was laying in the hospital bed. “The general doctor will be in to talk to you guys about her condition when she wakes up.”

“Thank you,” Spencer said as he walked into the room shutting the door behind him. She quickly pulled a chair up to the edge of her bed reaching for her hand. It was cold in his hands and that’s when he noticed she was shivering. He quickly pulled the sheet and comforter up around her. He hated that she was cold. He wanted her to be comfortable for the rest of her life. 

“(Y/n),” he whispered her name catching in his throat. “I can’t believe you’re here.” He said even though he knew that she couldn’t hear him. And so he sat there with her quietly just enjoying listening to the sound of her breathing and the machine that was measuring her heart rate. It wasn; ’t long before his eyes were getting heavy and he found himself hunching over his head falling to his shoulders as he allowed himself to fall asleep peacefully for the first time in two years, her hand still in his. 

\---

When he woke up again he rubbed his eyes before looking over at her. She was wide awake and staring at him as if she had just seen a ghost. “Get out.” She said and Spencer couldn't help the shock that overtook his body, his mouth falling open, his eyebrows furrowing together. 

“(Y/n) what?”

“I said get out!” She screams at him. “Get out! Get out! Get out of here!” She continued screaming on the top of her lungs as he quickly jumped out of the chair and hurried towards the door, her screams still filling the small room. Outside the room, he saw two different nurses running towards him.

“What happened?” One of them asked.

“I’m- I’m not sure” he stuttered as they approached (Y/n) who was no longer screaming but still looked very agitated. 

“I don’t want him anywhere near me.” He heard her tell one of the nurses and the confusion in his brain only grew even more. 

“(Y/n)?” One of the nurses asked. “Do you know who he is?”

“Of course I know who he is.” (Y/n) snarled. “He’s my fucking husband and I don’t want to ever see his face again.”

Spencer raised a hand to his face trying to figure out what was happening. “Okay.” the nurse said before fiddling with her IV “I’m just going to give you something to help you relax okay? I’m sure that you’re in a lot of pain right now.” (Y/n) nodded. “I’m going to go get the doctor for you okay?” she nodded again. 

One nurse left the room while the other closed the door to talk to (Y/n) privately. “She’s just asking some standard questions.”

“I’m not an idiot,” Spencer responded to the nurse annoyed with the tone she had. “You think I’m abusing her and want to make sure she’s safe and that she has the resources she needs if she wants to leave.”

“I’m sorry.” The nurse said and all of a sudden Spencer felt bad for the tone he had taken with her, she was just trying to do her job to make sure that (Y/n) was safe. 

“I’m sorry too,” he said after a second before she walked away. When the second nurse came out before closing the door again she had a grimace on her face and Spencer knew what (Y/n) had told her. 

Spencer watched as that nurse talked to the doctor recounting what (Y/n) had said. When the doctor came over he smiled slightly at Spencer. “I’m sorry I can’t let you in the room.” 

“I know,” Spencer responded. “And I know that she told them that I was abusing her but she was held captive for two years by someone with a hero complex who was convinced that I was abusing her.”

“Yes.” The doctor said. “I am familiar with the case, it appears that she suffered extreme torture as well as Stockholm syndrome. I’m not saying you can’t come in because I believe you were hurting her, it’s just that she will become agitated if you come in and that’s not good for her either.”

“I understand,” Spencer said, sighing. “Are you able to talk to me about her condition once you’re done?”

“Since you are her husband, yes.” the doctor said before excusing himself and slipping into (Y/n)’s room. 

After a few minutes, he came back out and motioned Spencer to an empty room next door. He shut the door before taking it. “For someone who has been held captive for two years, she is in remarkable shape. There are no signs that she was bound, no bruises to show that she was being hurt, I mean if it wasn’t for the fact that she  _ was  _ abducted I’d say she just ran away.”

“Do you think she’s going to be okay?”

“Physically yes.” the doctor replied. “Emotionally she is going to have a long road ahead of her.”

“Okay.” Spencer sighed. 

“You should be aware though, we are ordering a rape kit, it appears that she has suffered a miscarriage.” He felt his entire world stop at that. He swallowed thickly trying to not vomit. 

“Okay,” Spencer said, trying to remember how to breathe. “You think that they um had um,” Spencer said shaking his hands in the air as if that would force the words out of his mouth.

“I do.” The doctor responded. “And while legally it is considered rape since abducted her and was holding her captive, I think that she consented to it.” Spencer released a shaky breath and the doctor clearly noticed he was not handling this information well. “She’s going to be okay though. She’s very lucky.”

\---

**April 2020**

**Washington D.C.**

(Y/n) thanked the uber driver before climbing out of the car making sure to grab all of her stuff. The smell of the Potomac river hit her nose the second the car door opened and while it wasn’t the best smell in the smell in the world, it smelt like home.

As she made her way up the sidewalk towards the ticket gate, she reached into her bag pulling out her phone with the QR code. The ticket person scanned it before directing her to where she needed to go. Once she made her way towards the boat she was relieved to see Spencer standing off to the side waiting for her. She smiled and waved as she approached him.

The two then made their way onto the boat choosing to sit on the top deck as the April air was still kind of cool and it was nice to have some fresh air. They quickly found a table off to the side before sitting down across from each other. 

“How have you been?” Spencer asked.

“Pretty good, you?”

“Good,” Spencer said.

The captain of the boat then got over the loudspeaker to announce how long it would take them to get to Washington’s house and then the procedures for when they did arrive which she knew he would only have to repeat once they got docked. 

“I’m jealous that your kids got to do this on a field trip. That would’ve been so much fun, I never got to do anything like that when I was a kid.”

“Really?” (Y/n) asked. She only slightly shuddered when she remembered how difficult it had been that day to keep an eye on twenty kids on this boat and then at the house itself. Her kids were well behaved, being the smartest ones in the school, but even the smart fourth graders had trouble focusing when surrounded by their friends in a place beside the classroom. “You didn’t go on any field trips?”

“We did. But it was usually just the zoo.”

“The horror.” (Y/n) teased.

“It was. Can you imagine a zoo in 110 degrees? It was awful. I wish I could’ve done something fun like go to Mount Vernon. I had to do this on my own when I first moved here.”

(Y/n) nodded as the wind swept over the boat as it began to slowly move down the river. “It was such a great place to get married.” She said remembering how cute the barn was with all the string lights and how gorgeous their photos were right there on the river bank. 

“It was,” Spencer responded. “Speaking of field trips, how have you done going back to teaching?”

“I was so nervous on the first day,” (Y/n) said, recalling how she barely slept the night before. “But after the first day, it’s been great. The kids are great, and they have no idea why I’ve been gone so that helps.” She said laughing. “I mean it’s been an adjustment going back to work every day but I’m glad to be doing something other than staring at walls all day.”

“I’m sure.” Spencer said, “I can only imagine how boring that would become after a while.”

“It’s really strange to me that we are both teachers now,” (Y/n) said laughing. “But I like that you are working more normal hours.”

“Me too,” Spencer said even though it went unsaid that he would like it a little better if he was coming home to his wife instead of an empty house, but they will get there, in all due time. “I was thinking the other day that eventually I could in theory have a kid in my class who had you ten years earlier.”

“Don’t say that,” (Y/n) said. “You’re going to make me feel so old.” They both laughed enjoying the way that the conversation seemed to flow like it used to.

After about an hour and a half, the boat docked and the two of them exited down the same ramp that got on. The nice thing about this time of the year was that it was not terribly busy. In the fall you had all the schools who sent their eighth-graders and then in the summer, you had the families who came out here. But spring as the golden spot. 

As they made their way off the boat and up the steep hill to the house, (Y/n) found herself intertwining her hand with Spencer’s without even thinking about it. She only realized she had done it when she felt his hand grasp hers and in her peripheral saw the way he looked down at her clearly shocked by her action. Still, he didn’t pull his hand away and she was glad that he didn't. 

As they made their way throughout the house, she listened intently as Spencer spewed out fact after fact about George and Martha Washington, some of which the tour guides didn’t even know. The whole time their hands stayed intertwined. (Y/n) pretended to not see the looks they got from other visitors. They were looking at them as that couple in love again, not those two people who seem to barely know each other, their interactions are so stiff. 

They slowly made their way to the back of the house and found themselves sitting in two rocking chairs that had been placed out for guests to sit. When they sat down that they separated hands and she immediately missed the warmth of his hand in hers. 

As she sat on the back porch of the house overlooking the beautiful lawn and river she couldn't help but imagine four little kids running around in the spacious yard. Her mind played out an image of her and Spencer with a son and daughter. The son, Ben, was on Spencer’s team, while the daughter, Chloe was with her. They had a bucket full of water balloons set out and when Spencer yelled go they all went running trying to grab as many as they could while throwing them at each other. She could hear the children screeching with joy as she locked eyes with Spencer sharing a look of complete bliss with one another.

“What are you thinking about?” Spencer asked snapping her out of the daydream.

“How would you feel about moving?”

“What?” He asked, pursing his lips together. “I don’t think that we could afford a place like this,” he said and she almost wondered if he had been having the exact same daydream.

“No.” She agreed. “But we could get a nice house in the suburbs, somewhere with an actual yard. And like a house, not an apartment.”

“I mean we always talked about it.”

“I know.” (Y/n) replied. “So what if we do it.”

“(Y/n) I don’t understand,” Spencer said. “Are you ready to move back in?” the hopefulness in his voice broke her heart because she knew she was about to break his.

“No.” She said. “But I’m getting there.” She added not liking the way his soft smile slightly faltered. “I’m starting to separate out what happened and what was an illusion in my head. When I get a flashback of you being violent I’m able to know that it’s not real now. Abigail thinks that it’s a huge step in the right direction.”

“Just the fact that you’re sitting here seems like a huge step in the right direction,” Spencer responded. 

“I think so too,” (Y/n) replied. “But I can’t move back into that apartment. I want a clean slate. Somewhere where there are no fake memories, somewhere where someone didn’t die on the living room floor, where there have never been cameras spying on us and I don’t have to worry about someone still having a copy of the key.”

“That seems fair,” Spencer said. What she didn’t tell him was that she wanted to be in a house where their kids would have more room to grow and where there would be neighbors with kids the same age. She would tell him those things eventually but right now didn’t seem like the time nor the place when she still wasn’t 100 percent sure she would make it there. “Why don’t you let me know when you’re ready to move back in and then we can start looking at houses, you don’t ever have to come back to the apartment if you don’t want to.”

“That sounds good,” (Y/n) said smiling over at him widely. She then stood up from her chair reaching her hand out for his. He stood up quickly but then hesitated before taking her hand once more. “I look forward to it.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please comment on what you thought :) More chapters to come soon!!


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